Again, using current definitions of gender and sex, the correct terminology would be “I’m a man, and I was born a female.”
Anyways, I agree with you on this point. In terms of gender, I’ll refer to people however they want; that’s not my decision. But when it comes to biological sex, I’m not going to refer to people however they want though because, like age, it’s just not something you decide.
You seem determined to classify me as a bad or hateful person. We actually want the same goal: we both want trans-athletes to be included and experience the joy of sports and competition. I think the best way to do that, is to keep sports categorized by sex, but make it clear that all genders are welcome within a sex category. I’ll admit, right now, it may not be ‘normal’ or comfortable for a woman (gender) to compete with other males (sex). And they may be subject to harassment. This is Not okay. So let’s change that. If a ‘woman’ (gender) is on the ‘male’ team, as a coach you may be need to keep an eye out for how that athlete is being treated and make every effort to make sure they are an equal member of the team and treated with the same respect as everyone else. Over time, people will recognize the difference between gender and sex, and ‘men’ ‘women’ and ‘non-binary’ will all equally compete in ‘male’ categories or ‘female’ categories. So the ‘male’ category won’t only be for people who identify as ‘men’, but it will fully include people who identify as any gender. So no one will be ‘telling anyone’ how they should identify that day.
Your solution to the problem is to instead get rid of ‘sex’ categories and only classify based on gender. That is inclusive for trans athletes, but it’s potentially not equitable to ‘female’ (sex) athletes. ‘Female’ athletes are not allowed to take testosterone for 16 years of their life (up to the level of a ‘male’) and then stop taking testosterone so they are under the ‘limit’ before they compete. For that reason (and other biological differences between the sexes) it’s not equitable. Some people argue that trans-athletes aren’t effecting the outcome of sports and/or having increased success, so there’s no lack of ‘fairness’. Due to the relatively small number of trans athletes and tons of other variables, I don’t think this data can be all that conclusive just yet. Over the years, when there’s more robust data, I may change my mind.
So we simply have a difference of opinion in how to make trans athletes included as well as achieve fairness for all. If, after a period of 10-20 years or so, it’s clear that nothing can be done to make trans athletes feel included (and not harassed) in their biological sex category And that trans athletes really don’t have any sort of an advantage (based on robust data), then you can call me anti-trans if I still hold my same position.
But right now, I’m simply a guy trying to find the best solution in a complex situation. You, and the media, calling me and everyone else ‘anti-trans’, is potentially damaging to transgendered individuals. You’re creating the narrative that a huge portion of the country hates them. Imagine being a 15 year old teenager, trying to figure out life, and being told roughly 1/2 of America hates you and doesn’t want you to play sports or even exist. How the hell would that make you feel? Pretty freakin bad. Yes, hate exists. Yes, people are anti-trans. Yes, individuals experience harassment and discrimination. I hate all of that. It sucks, it really does. And we can and should call out hate. But just because you disagree on this sports issues doesn’t mean you are anti-trans and hate them. Exaggerating hate is not helpful.
If you are transgendered and reading this I would want you to know, “First, I’m incredibly sorry for any hatred and harassment you’ve received. You are valuable, your life matters, people care for you, and people love you. You have the ability to positively impact the people around you. You may not change the entire world, but you can certainly change your world- the people closest to you. Your life is important and valuable, regardless of what people say, or even what your own mind says. And yes, I do believe you should compete in the ‘male’ category. But not because I think you are man, but only because there are differences in biology. Just like you’re currently in the U20 program, and 22 year olds can compete against you. I don’t want to change you, keep being you. I don’t hate you, I’m with you. I want you to love running, make memories on team trips, set PR’s, and enjoy your life. And again, always, always, remember that your life matters, and you are valuable.”