Greg wrote:
Get over it dude.
Women don't care about old relationships. You think she cares? No way. F*** 10 women and then you'll see it differently.
HA HA HAAA
Greg wrote:
Get over it dude.
Women don't care about old relationships. You think she cares? No way. F*** 10 women and then you'll see it differently.
HA HA HAAA
Evergreen wrote:
...the relationship quickly escalated, I moved in with her after 4 months, and we lived as a family (us plus her dog and cat)...
There's the problem. Don't cohabitate with a woman you're not married to. You WEREN'T a family, you just played like you were. If you love someone enough to live with her, then MARRY HER! If you don't love her enough to marry her, then don't live with her.
the only real love affair over time is with the workout. most of the best parts of time with the girlfriend are likely fantasy. might just be thankful shes someone else's problem. put your effort into building something. trying. and in time it will be fine. until then you might crank up a song like jerry lee lewis' -"you can have her." loop it, sing along, and find peace in the parts of your life you have more control over the variables in. for example- the days workout. love the pain. push on
Would you be interested in a dating service for athletes?
1. Grow up
2. Get over it
Contact her, try again.
Just don’t expect her to change, learn to live with her flaws, I’m sure you have some yourself.
Perfect doesn’t exist in people.
Evergreen wrote:
The relationship ended up kind of ruining my life, so I ended it even though I was still in love with her.
What do I do? I've been considering reaching out to her, not as an attempt to get back together (we now live 2000 miles apart), but kind of just to touch base. I think I could handle it just fine. Not sure if she could or not.
Folks might be able to provide better advice if you expand on the bolded snippet. Generally, "ended up kind of ruining my life" is an indication that you probably should never contact her again.
Don’t contact her again. Close this chapter. She’s bat*hit crazy and 2000 miles away. That’s all that needs to be said. Hopefully she’s someone else’s burden now.
Evergreen, I wish we could sit down and have a beer together. I've been there, done that, wondered why bad things happen, and then, finally, figured it out. I'll try to shorten a journey for me of a few decades into a few sentences.
People... and events, even bad events... come into your life for a reason. There is a purpose. That purpose... generally speaking... is to give you the opportunity to grow... to learn from the experience and become a better person. Some people fail to see this and they're crushed. They cry out why this happen to me?! They become bitter. They give up.
Every cloud has a silver lining, they say. The events in your life have a silver lining. Sometimes it's hard to work through the pain to see it, but it's there. Just be patient and persistent. It is there... it is ALWAYS there.
You can take this to a higher level or you can stop here and totally ignore what I'm about to add here. It doesn't change what I just wrote so don't let any biases about what I'm about to write turn you off of what I just wrote. That said, here's the higher level... read carefully.
We are spiritual beings temporarily in physical form as humans. Your soul and the soul of your ex have lived many past lives. Maybe you agreed to meet in this life to teach each other lessons... or maybe she was just a detour off your main life path. It doesn't matter. The key is that there is a lesson there to help you grow and become a better person. Your task is to figure out what that lesson was, learn from it, and move on.
Since you're not here, I've skipped the beer and poured a shot of Jameson Irish Whiskey as a toast. Here's to finding that silver lining!
fisky wrote:
We are spiritual beings temporarily in physical form as humans. Your soul and the soul of your ex have lived many past lives. Maybe you agreed to meet in this life to teach each other lessons... or maybe she was just a detour off your main life path. It doesn't matter. The key is that there is a lesson there to help you grow and become a better person. Your task is to figure out what that lesson was, learn from it, and move on.
!
There is no proof to this and this is a fairly tale. The science here is that we are organisms that are born and then die, like a plant. There was nothing before “you” and there will be nothing after “you” die.
That’s why it’s important to live in the now because what we have now is a gift. Life is too short to worry about crappy ex-girlfriends and to waste your time chasing them.
Find the next girl and I enjoy the ride.
You need to go through life trying to have as much fun as possible with no regrets. Nobody will be there to judge you when you die, so go all out and live life full-tilt.
~y~ wrote:
the only real love affair over time is with the workout. most of the best parts of time with the girlfriend are likely fantasy. might just be thankful shes someone else's problem. put your effort into building something. trying. and in time it will be fine. until then you might crank up a song like jerry lee lewis' -"you can have her." loop it, sing along, and find peace in the parts of your life you have more control over the variables in. for example- the days workout. love the pain. push on
Exactly. Run more miles. Problem solved.
Yeah man it sounds like you’re almost going through with a lot of women to cope for missing out on someone you had a real connection with.
If you haven’t done so already, try to mentally purge yourself of thinking about relationships or women romantically in general. Take a couple months to completely and solely focus on one aspect of your life. That could be your family life, job, running, music, anything really and just put every bit of extra time and mental energy into that topic. Stay off social media if you use it, don’t watch porn, don’t do nothing expect for work your tail off.
You need time away.
I had a major crush on this girl and things never really worked out like I thought it would, I ended up not talking to her for 4 months and really focused on getting back into running (was injured at the time) and that training block made huge jumps in fitness and ran PRs from every distance 800-5k. I went to a party and the girl I liked was there and we started hitting it off again and now we’ve had a good relationship.
I’m not saying this will fix your problems, but it seems to me like you need time away. Whether it results in you getting back with the woman in particular or finding a new relationship, who knows.
Mr. Crankypants wrote:
Bah.
First of all, this thread is useless without pics.
And B, you need to do a week's worth of very hard running. Then go bang anything that moves. Repeat 3 times.
Then drink a manly drink (aged bourbon, neat) and sleep it off. In the morning, get serious about finding someone new.
You're welcome.
Thank you.
All good thoughts here. Thanks, man. I totally agree with you. Even in the worst of tragedies, the wise thing to do is ask "What can I learn from this? What does this have to teach me?" The relationship we had was definitely a period of certain kinds of growth for both of us. I'm not bitter at all. I'm not mad at her. I'm still disappointed that she wouldn't try at all, but I don't really dwell on that per se. It's more just that I can't seem to find someone else who I feel anything close to that same feeling with. Even though I sometimes still pine over my ex, I don't want to be with her. Possibly if I knew for sure she had put in a ton of serious work on herself (at least 1 year of very intentional and mindful work with a therapist or analyst of some kind), but I find that unlikely.
Bit of a synchronicity, she just sent me a friend request on FB. Again, it's been almost 2 years, and I went no contact with her after our breakup conversation, which was horrible. Blocked her for 7 months, then unblocked her but still not friends with her. She sent me a letter apologizing after our breakup and sort of admitted fault, apologized for her actions anyway and acknowledged they were wrong, then she tried to call me a week after that (I didn't answer), and then she did text me several months ago when she found out a horrible tragedy had occurred in my family. Idk.
Again, I don't want to give her another shot as far as being in a relationship with her. I do feel like there's a ton to talk about that we never got to talk about though. I'm thinking of having a dialogue with her via written letters or something (helps people be intentional and mindful of their words) just to maybe get some better closure on the whole thing. If she says anything bad it will honestly just make me feel better and help me move on, further solidify that she's a problem-individual. She's 2000 miles away, so there's no way we could "get back together" even if we both wanted to, and I certainly don't, not at this time anyway.
Thanks for the responses.
Good luck.
You're in it man. Doing your best. That's all you can ask for really.
I got over my exes but carried on the spirit of good while setting aside the shortcomings. Took awhile but I’ve found something better 🌸 along the five factors: beauty wealth athleticism iq piety/virtue
This. If it’s meant to be then it will, otherwise move on😊
In 1986 I was 21. Let one lady slip away and have regretted it since.
Likely this episode is something you will have in subconscious rest of your life.
Move on and just accept it as learning experience.
Question du jour
If two engaged individuals are unsure about their whole lineage are their scientific tests to take to determine and prevent inbreeding?