How do you come to terms with the fact that your destiny is average?

don't.

be delusional.

another average joe wrote:

I’m 44.

So close to 45...

Better to be as such rather than at one time rich, powerful and famous, but facing a dismal future. (yuk,yuk,yuk)

another average joe wrote:

I have a reasonably good marriage and great kids.

This is already a great success. As well as your PRs, however slow they might appear to some here.

Life is like racing. There is one in the front and maybe one finishing last but most of us are somewhere in the middle. And that is great because without them there wouldn't be an official race because you need at least 3 for that.

It doesn't matter where you stand relative to others. Your task is to make the best use of the ability you have. You would not be happy trying to be a rock star, professional runner, or executive, because you suck at those things and your efforts would only be met with frustration and failure. Your life is no worse because someone else is richer than you. In fact, you benefit tremendously from the productive output of those who are better than you. The key to living the best life possible is to embrace the reality what you are, and never compare yourself to others. The reason men get envious of others' superior success is sexual selection-- the sexual marketplace is a competition, and the most successful men get the most sexual access. Once again, you deal with this psychologically by embracing reality--if you're a "5" as a man, don't waste your time worrying about "10" females because they are worthless to you. They cannot be attracted to you, so you would never enjoy being with them or going after them. Live your life, be the best version of yourself that you can be, focus on yourself and you work, let women come into your orbit and fck them, but never get too attached or invested in them because unless your sexual market value is higher than theirs, they will eventually dump you and move on.

If it’s your destiny then it’s out of your hands.

Don’t sweat things that are out if your hands.

Or you can take an attitude that it is not your destiny and you do have the ability to do much, much more.

Then and only then can you truly have reason to be down about the fact that you are merely average.

You’re 44 and just realizing this? You’re 15 years behind the rest of us.

fromtheheart wrote:

Better to be as such rather than at one time rich, powerful and famous, but facing a dismal future. (yuk,yuk,yuk)

This is true. Unfortunately I do have a buddy in this situation. Had a very successful business for several years in his 30s. He sold it and invested much of the proceeds in a new business venture never took off. He’s lost most of his money and hasn’t ever been able to replicate that success.

Micheal wassfu wrote:

don't.

be delusional.

first answer is the best answer

You need to change your perspective. Watch some Married with Children reruns.

If that doesn’t work get a divorce and buy a sports car. Take up skateboarding.

So who are you trying to prove this to?

I’m not really great at anything but I get the most out of my experience in life.

I have a great family

I coach

Own a business

Have run several Marathons

Like to climb mountain

Have performed on stage on a regular basis

Was once a decent skier

What makes you interesting? What can you do to entertain yourself in this next phase of life? Hobbies? Art? Play an instrument? Etc...

Have a mid-life crisis but make it fun. Who cares? Nobody does man... You have to do what makes you happy.

Maybe your the type that gardens. My father did his entire life. He never really wanted anything else. But he had a satisfying life in his eyes.

So really, you have to ask yourself who you are trying to impress because over time everyone will be forgotten. Everyone. It can be depressing to think about but also very freeing. Do what makes you happy.

Nobody is ever going to care that you are an average runner or a fast runner.

How do you deal with your average destiny?

Win your MFing age group, dummy.

Every weekend can be an adventure, a race, a push through your limits.

Train and race. Rinse, repeat.

By taking a broader view of things and realizing that you're not average. How many people in the world have ever run 10+ miles at sub 8 min/mile pace, let alone qualified for Boston? I'm willing to bet it's well under 5% of the world's population.

And regarding your career, if your net worth is over $94K, your wealth already puts you in the top 10% worldwide:

https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2018/11/01/how-much-money-you-need-to-be-part-of-the-1-percent-worldwide.html

Wisdom... wrote:

By taking a broader view of things and realizing that you're not average. How many people in the world have ever run 10+ miles at sub 8 min/mile pace, let alone qualified for Boston? I'm willing to bet it's well under 5% of the world's population.

And regarding your career, if your net worth is over $94K, your wealth already puts you in the top 10% worldwide:

https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2018/11/01/how-much-money-you-need-to-be-part-of-the-1-percent-worldwide.html

BTW, the median American male has never run a sub 7 mile (based on the Presidential fitness challenge standards in the 80s, when obesity was much less common), and the median income of American men who work full-time is only around $50K/year:

So even within that group, you're still above average.

You need some "man boosting" power! LOL! :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CtCV2C1jIM0

My new mindset shift has been to realize that many of the things that I've been chasing are superficial and not what I really need. I would like to find peace and acceptance. I would like to find more joy in the day to day (e.g., simple moments with my kids while they're still young, enjoying the outdoors, running for the fun of it). It's not to say that you throw in the towel on PRs, career, money, etc. - just that you don't base your full view of self on these.

There’s no such thing as destiny, and the idea that hard work is what leads to exceptional success is mostly a lie. You have this idea that you should be chasing greatness, but that is not the way to happiness. That is generally the way to never being satisfied; always wanting more. This works well if you’re trying to become a great athlete, but it is not a sustainable way to live an entire life. Better to cultivate meaningful relationships and focus on things that are intrinsically satisfying, rather than just a measure by which to compare yourself to others. So family, friends, and hobbies rather than salaries, job titles, and race results.

Consider this quote by Russian write Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

“Only those who decline to scramble up the career ladder are interesting as human beings. Nothing is more boring than a man with a career.”

Life's a balance and a choice - generally the most successful people in any field are obsessive, selfish creatures who put their specialism first to the exclusion of everything else. You can be a great dad and husband or have a stellar career. In my experience, you can't have both.