I’m sure many older people (I’m 41) have had some sort of disappointment or setback in your life But in our circle it sometimes feel like we are the only ones. At 30 my wife and I both worked full time, we bought our dream house, my career trajectory was promising. Then we tried to have kids.
It took us years and a lot of fertility expenses to get here, but we were able to successfully have 2 children. They are amazing and worth it. But it cost us a lot.
My wife quit her job amidst the stress of trying to have kids, and it was a stretch to pay our mortgage and thousands for fertility drugs and doctors on my salary. My career trajectory stalled a little (quite unexpectedly) in my late thirties, so we made the decision to sell the house and downsize to a smaller home in a nearby neighborhood.
Now when we look around, it feels like everyone in our old “dream home” neighborhood just sailed through their 30s, having 2-3 kids with no issues, getting promotions...sailing along nicely.
I know some people can *never* have kids or ever buy any house at all, or have cancer, or have other bad life outcomes. But it feels so painful to love backwards financially at an age when all my peers like are charging ahead.
So how do I face the rest of my life knowing we may not ever have things be materially as good as they once were?