I saw a Mom yelling at her daughter at the store telling her to shut up. Is it wrong to say something

Here is what I know for a fact:

Having worked with children in California, Tennessee, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and Oregon, in each location, I had to be fingerprinted and pass a background check to do so. I had to provide verifiable references to testify to my ability to successfully work with children. I had to provide documentation in the way of a credential or permit to be able to be in a classroom with children.

Here's what I also know:

One could be a released repeat offender

A thief

A kleptomaniac

A drug addict

A drug dealer

A raging alcoholic

A wife beater

And so on...

And nobody can preclude him or her from having a child no matter how poorly prepared they are, how poorly trained they are, or even how diabolical they are.

One doesn't even have to be remotely decent to have a child and be a parent.

So blindly trusting the parent as the proper judge of what is right while they are creating a situation that isn't right is foolish at best, and a heart wrenching travesty at its middleground. Nobody knows what it could be at its worst...including the parent.

placp wrote:

She's not wrong to say something,

But whatever happens after that she brought on herself, and there's zero chance the mom will change her parenting behaviour.

In this case the interaction could have been a lot worse treading in those kinds of waters

Yeah not wrong for saying something especially since she specializes in this area. But whatever comes next is probably not gonna be a constructive conversation, although they're probably trained in how to deal with those interactions too.

I saw a parent physically grab their child just the other day in public & yell at them. I wish I would have said something but I didn't trust that situation to play out in a helpful way.

Your friend needs to mind her own business. I am a parent who looses there mind occasionally. I never hit or spank but will get very loud and yell. People like your friend don't see the act behind the door like my daughter saying what a worthless parent I am for not buying her something that is $1,500 bucks but yet her activities cost us a $1,000 plus monthly.

WrongBigTime wrote:

Your friend needs to mind her own business. I am a parent who looses there mind occasionally. I never hit or spank but will get very loud and yell. People like your friend don't see the act behind the door like my daughter saying what a worthless parent I am for not buying her something that is $1,500 bucks but yet her activities cost us a $1,000 plus monthly.

Too add if I was in the store I would have told you psychiatrist friend that she needs to mind her own business. Her advice is letting the kid know it is okay to act like an obnoxious pain in the behind and that she does not need to listen to her mom.

ReplierMan wrote:

The original post and replies scream troll post, but I will bite.

She was wrong to comment. If she is actually worried about the child's safety, she needs to call the police.

This is why the “defund the police” movement has risen. This is a parent/child interaction. If anything is wrong, Child Services should be contacted. You know, people who are actually educated specifically for evaluating and determining the best way forward for the child. Not the Police who’s purpose is to deal with actual illegal criminal action.

doin it wrote:

ReplierMan wrote:

The original post and replies scream troll post, but I will bite.

She was wrong to comment. If she is actually worried about the child's safety, she needs to call the police.

This is why the “defund the police” movement has risen. This is a parent/child interaction. If anything is wrong, Child Services should be contacted. You know, people who are actually educated specifically for evaluating and determining the best way forward for the child. Not the Police who’s purpose is to deal with actual illegal criminal action.

He/she came back and specified that police was the wrong word to use, but to take your point and run with it... maybe all we need is a bunch of psychologists and therapists running around scolding people for their bad behavior. That will fix everything!!!

Anecdote: We were at my daughter's soccer game this past weekend, and the rules are super strict right now. Masks on the sidelines, six-foot distancing on the sidelines, all the normal stuff. My 4-year-old son was tired, cranky, and hot, and he was having none of it. He was throwing a tantrum and hitting my wife. It was a the end of a long day in which he'd been a pill for most of it. He was pulling his mask off and running away, into other people, screaming that he wanted a Gatorade from the machine in the clubhouse. This went on for about 15 minutes before I took him by the arm and whisper-yelled that he was going to get a spanking if he didn't behave. FWIW, I would never really spank him. I probably looked like a real jerk to someone seeing this out of context, but you can't just let your kid run roughshod all over you.

Then I realized it was probably better that one of us just take him back to the car, so I took him back, got him some water, and we listened to music together in the car. He fell asleep and I missed the game, but it was better than continuing to let him make a scene. I am a firm believer that removing oneself from the situation is often the best bet.

Looks like your psychiatrist friend got a taste of the real world.

WrongBigTime wrote:

Your friend needs to mind her own business. I am a parent who looses there mind occasionally. I never hit or spank but will get very loud and yell. People like your friend don't see the act behind the door like my daughter saying what a worthless parent I am for not buying her something that is $1,500 bucks but yet her activities cost us a $1,000 plus monthly.

Exactly!

The real world?

Okay, so maybe yours was a dog eat dog society where you only care about you and yours, but now you want the kids of the future to experience your jungle?

No! The problem with you and your ilk is that you struggled so you want other generations to struggle like you did.

The reality is actually that those of us who work with kids or advocate for them aren't regarding you in public....unless you're mistreating your child.

It is far less important what any adult would think regarding the intervention in the improper treatment of a child than the stoppage of an uncontrolled, rage-filled tank of a parent.

The "Real World" now doesn't put up with the old blue collar methods of parenting. That's old world garbage.

You can take your mentality back to where it came from. Yes. You. Specifically you.

Welcome to the actual real world.

Mike