I saw a Mom yelling at her daughter at the store telling her to shut up. Is it wrong to say something

In this case, the parent was using a bad approach but you made things worse by interfering, because when the child is not listening to the parent and others interfere, it undermines the parent's authority further. What you get from that is a situation where the daughter has learned it's acceptable to be obnoxious to her parents all the time and the household becomes a chaotic mess that no one wants to live through.

Child services don't investigate a person telling their child to shut up or whatever. Then getting the credit card information, and all that, is a REAL stretch . A parent telling his kid off dosen't deserve all that.

Stoppit Smith wrote:

it becomes my business and anyone else's who feels that the parent is behaving untowardly or completely wrong to their child or children.

shut up, i mean, shut your mouth

seriously though.

it's good training to tell kids to shut up so they get used to it and are tougher from it. if they get harassment at school or anywhere else, they will know how to take it. it also trains them not to p1ss people off because they won't want to be told to "shut up". telling a kid to shut up is not abuse in the slightest. i'd draw the line at excessive beating. i think beating in public should be avoided at all costs.

Do you have kids?? There is a line not to cross. I personally feel if she was beating the s**t out of the child that's one thing, but telling a kid to shut up or whatever is another. No law is being broken, and CPS is going to hunt down someone for telling her child off in a store, BUT as l told my friend, it can get you killed by the wrong person. Unless the child is in danger physically, move along. You don't know the backstory, so move along.

I think Stoppit Smith is trolling. There's no way he's being totally sincere

two cents Mom wrote:

I heard her tell her daughter repeatedly " shut up" the child ( about 8) kept repeating she wanted an item. My friend confronted her, and she told her to mind her own business, and that the child had been acting up all day. I know it's not against the law to tell your daughter repeatedly to shut up, she wasn't hitting her or anything, just telling her to shut up. Was my friend wrong? My friend also told the lady she was a psychiatrist and she shouldn't yell at a child like that. Do you think she was out of line?

She did the right thing. Parents who feel the need to swear in anger at, violently yell at, or worse, beat their children at home or in public don't deserve any kindness, particularly from strangers in public. They are an embarrassment and need to grow up. Twice I have scolded other parents; once a 50 year old foster mom dragged her two kids out of church by their ears, literally pulling them hard by their ears while they were dragging and screaming. The second was this summer where I saw a father hit his 2 year old in the front yard twice so hard the kid lifted off of the ground; all just because he ran into the front yard giggling. That time I told him I called the cops and waited just long enough to scare the crap out of him before letting him know I did not but that he should grow up and his behavior was unacceptable. This kind of behavior, particularly in public is a shame and should not be tolerated and people who do it should be ashamed of themselves.

well the belt helped this guy to an Olympic Gold and Silver so there's that

https://www.podiumrunner.com/events/frank-shorter-breaks-silence-on-childhood-abuse/

Flagpole wrote:

two cents Mom wrote:

I heard her tell her daughter repeatedly " shut up" the child ( about 8) kept repeating she wanted an item. My friend confronted her, and she told her to mind her own business, and that the child had been acting up all day. I know it's not against the law to tell your daughter repeatedly to shut up, she wasn't hitting her or anything, just telling her to shut up. Was my friend wrong? My friend also told the lady she was a psychiatrist and she shouldn't yell at a child like that. Do you think she was out of line?

Not appropriate for someone to question someone's parenting unless the child is in danger. It is entirely possible to keep one's opinion to oneself.

There's a word for people like your friend - "Karen".

Yes. It is unbelievably arrogant and entitled to think that she knows better than the mother. And it sounds like this Karen is a spoilt brat herself, who can only see things from her point of view. To think that she has a right to interfere with the mother (undermining the mother further with a very difficult, whiny child) for simply telling the child off is staggering. I'm sure this 'psychiatrist' doesn't have children, because she'd understand that even the best people can lose their rag with children sometimes, and no-one is perfect. Telling the kid to 'shut up' is hardly child abuse, even if it isn't nice.

Grow up Karen, and keep your nose out of other people's business.

stoplight wrote:

stoplight wrote:

Yes your friend was wrong. I can't stand people like that

Oh wow haha, I actually didn't read your whole post at first... She announced that she is a psychiatrist to justify her point? Your friend sounds like she's the worst

Yes, I totally agree where I hate when people try to think they know so much more by stating some credential where it may not be totally relevant. Engineers are the worst, but this one about stating that they’re a psychiatrist might take the win.

two cents Mom wrote:

I heard her tell her daughter repeatedly " shut up" the child ( about 8) kept repeating she wanted an item. My friend confronted her, and she told her to mind her own business, and that the child had been acting up all day. I know it's not against the law to tell your daughter repeatedly to shut up, she wasn't hitting her or anything, just telling her to shut up. Was my friend wrong? My friend also told the lady she was a psychiatrist and she shouldn't yell at a child like that. Do you think she was out of line?

What do you think the odds are that the yelling mom will say "Dang, you are so right. Where can I sign up for parenting classes to do better"?

Today, I would fear the mom getting abusive on me.

Sham 69 wrote:

At some point ya oughta use the belt

You mean use the belt on the yelling mom?

My kids have watched NCIS for years. We often give each other "Gibb slaps". Not done hard just a flick.

You posted it here and you expect that you're going to get ONLY opinions that validate your perspective?

Well Bucko, you don't have the leverage to expect me to move on.

I have worked with children in some capacity since 1996..in child care, as an aide, as a substitute teacher and/or as a teacher.

In none of the training or classes (theoretical or methodological) were we ever instructed to mind our own business when it came to the perception that a child was being mistreated.

In fact, we are sworn as reporting agents when it comes to parental behavior that is wrong to a child. Once we see it, we are obligated to report it.

Never ever in any law or any other code does it ever stipulate that we should mind our business.

So again, I AM going to opine here that she was not wrong whether you like it or not because...she wasn't wrong.

Too bad.

I think the mom needed to be told to shut up, she was disturbing everyone in the store.

That’s not telling her how to parent.

That’s telling her how to behave in public.

No law was broken, so l personally feel that in the day in age we live in the results could be very bad. I could see if the child was being beat in a dangerous manner, and even then you really have to be positive it rises to that level. But shut up or whatever?? That is a sure way to get killed in this day in age. All l am saying is you better be ready for what comes with that.

Star wrote:

I think the mom needed to be told to shut up, she was disturbing everyone in the store.

That’s not telling her how to parent.

That’s telling her how to behave in public.

Again l walked away from my friend and told her that was her move, and if she got a beating it was her problem.

Then you're really neither a good friend nor a good person although you'll vehemently insist you are. Go ahead and insist.

two cents Mom wrote:

Star wrote:

I think the mom needed to be told to shut up, she was disturbing everyone in the store.

That’s not telling her how to parent.

That’s telling her how to behave in public.

Again l walked away from my friend and told her that was her move, and if she got a beating it was her problem.

Impossible to be an armchair QB in this situation. There are so many different ways and levels that a parent can say "shut up" to a kid, and I can definitely see the extremes as a parent to a young child. I would tend to side with the psychiatrist as *in general* they're more trained to sense the nuance. That being said, current events are very hard on a lot of people, especially with remote learning starting for most families, so unless there was clear verbal abuse, I wouldn't have intervened.

Sham 69 wrote:

shut your mouth and shut up mean the same thing

Shut your mouth means I can use any other means to make noise.