Needing to vent/look for some other relatable experiences or support...
Background of myself: 18 min 5k/1:24 half marathoner/3 hour marathoner; 5'3"; 28 years old. Did just under 3000 miles for 2018. Fractured my sacrum in Jan 2019 and pubic stress reaction in August 2019. I spent most of 2019 on the bike with 2019 having run only 300 miles total. Beginning of 2020 I started to run again with a slow build averaging about 45 miles a week for most of the spring. I've run just over 1000 miles this year. Since there are no races, I did a spontaneous, solo 5k one day in early May and ran 21:48 with an average heart rate of 160 which I was actually okay with for not having done any workouts or ran "fast" in 1.5 years. Before sacrum fracture, easy pace 7:30-45; early 2020 easy pace typically low 8's, even after not running for a whole year.
I currently 14 weeks pregnant and I feel like I am literally falling apart. Everything hurts when I run. My joints and my back feel so unstable. My lower abdomen feels tight and sharp (like the musculature and ligaments). I've had awful GI issues and I feel like the baby is right on my bladder because I'll be 30 minutes in and feel like I have to pee, but there's just no way. And I am so slow... like, 9 min pace slow. Like today, I mustered 6 miles in 53 min with an average heart rate of 160. I have gained 8 pounds since becoming pregnant, but I can't believe it's just weight that's making me suffer so much. I feel like since I was about 6 weeks pregnant it's been a downward spiral. I am getting so frustrated with myself because I typically don't shy away from pain or being uncomfortable, but DAMN this is tough.
I love running and everything that has taught me about myself. Even when I was coming back from the sacrum fracture and pubic rami stress reactions, I could still find joy even in the early stages of slogging through miles and get into that space where it feels like I am not even thinking and meditating. Now.. all I think about is how much this sucks. I never thought I would say this, but I literally hate running right now.
Can anyone else relate to this? Or do I just need to suck it up?