My gf wants to break up with me unless I get a bed frame

pics?

I slept that way for a while.....alone.

I didn't see the point of having a frame.

I'm glad I grew up and got a decent looking bed.

goodtimebedtime wrote:

That's right. I've been sleeping on a mattress directly on the floor for the last 20 years. My girlfriend says that only immature Peter pan men sleep on mattresses on the Floor. I like this style, many eastern cultures do this, I'm torn between my girlfriend's demand and my freedom to sleep the way I choose. What should I do?

Dump her because she is going to dump you within the month anyway. Leave with hand.

What kind of girlfriend makes that kind of threat? You deserve better.

I always liked the very low grounded bedding style. I had the mattress on the floor for at least 12 years or so. At one point I build a basic structure, 2 4x6s and 6 plywood "slats". The last one at the headend is longer on both sides and acts as a night stand.

At the time I got it all sawed to size at the Home Depot. That is probably not possible anymore. I love that minimalist design which is in use of 13 years now and survived a couple of moves.

This seems to be a proxy argument. Your GF might be generally wanting you to make more changes like this. Before you run out and buy a bedframe just to avoid trouble, try talking to your gf about the larger set of issues. She might not feel like the problem is addressed if you just buy the bedframe and go back to living what she thinks is a "peter pan" life. Sounds like she has judged your lifestyle negatively, and that's something to sort out.

tip wrote:

This seems to be a proxy argument. Your GF might be generally wanting you to make more changes like this. Before you run out and buy a bedframe just to avoid trouble, try talking to your gf about the larger set of issues. She might not feel like the problem is addressed if you just buy the bedframe and go back to living what she thinks is a "peter pan" life. Sounds like she has judged your lifestyle negatively, and that's something to sort out.

I second this.

This is not only about the bed. This is probably about your whole lifestyle.

Make sure to figure that all out before you get married.

asdg wrote:

pics?

and PR's

Go all in and buy a water bed.

goodtimebedtime wrote:

That's right. I've been sleeping on a mattress directly on the floor for the last 20 years. My girlfriend says that only immature Peter pan men sleep on mattresses on the Floor. I like this style, many eastern cultures do this, I'm torn between my girlfriend's demand and my freedom to sleep the way I choose. What should I do?

I think a bed frame will only lead to handcuffs in your future. Think about the long game

Portlandi a wrote:

I always liked the very low grounded bedding style. I had the mattress on the floor for at least 12 years or so. At one point I build a basic structure, 2 4x6s and 6 plywood "slats". The last one at the headend is longer on both sides and acts as a night stand.

At the time I got it all sawed to size at the Home Depot. That is probably not possible anymore. I love that minimalist design which is in use of 13 years now and survived a couple of moves.

I built my bed frame extra high (for more storage underneath) for less than $40 worth of stuff from Home Depot (although I already had wood glue and stain). 4x6 sounds like overkill. My 4 corner legs plus one double center leg are 2x6's. I used two plywood pieces to distribute the load on 2x4 slats/joists. I also built the whole thing in two parts that assemble after transport so that you can get it through any doorway. If you use wood glue, the frame will never creak.

Like others suggested though, I have a suspicion that the problem is not the bed frame so much as that fact she thinks you are a "Peter Pan man."

Girlfriends who make ultimatums are forgettable. It demonstrates poor relating skills.

Give in to this and she'll always use that tactic. It's only the one she has.

Just buy a bed if you like her, sheesh. Then you can use the fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me argument to dump her if she moves goal posts.

Portlandi a wrote:

tip wrote:

This seems to be a proxy argument. Your GF might be generally wanting you to make more changes like this. Before you run out and buy a bedframe just to avoid trouble, try talking to your gf about the larger set of issues. She might not feel like the problem is addressed if you just buy the bedframe and go back to living what she thinks is a "peter pan" life. Sounds like she has judged your lifestyle negatively, and that's something to sort out.

I second this.

This is not only about the bed. This is probably about your whole lifestyle.

Make sure to figure that all out before you get married.

This is probably true. If you otherwise live/act like an adult, sleeping on a mattress on the floor would probably come across as more of a quirk than a red flag. I'd bet that she doesn't really care about the bed per se. She probably sees it as one symptom of a larger problem.

She might also just have some kind of negative association. If she has an exceptionally immature ex or sibling who shares your sleeping style, she might just latch onto that similarity as a red flag.

Either way, it's probably worth talking to her about the root of the issue.

Why would you not want a bed frame? You can get in and out of bed at a more even level. You can store things under your bed.They are not expensive.

If she's thinking she'll end up living with you, maybe being married, I can see why she'd want to be able to sleep in a bed every night. If you're thinking the same it might be time for a real bed. If you get a bed and you guys split up anyway you're stuck with a bed that you never wanted.

so so sad wrote:

goodtimebedtime wrote:

That's right. I've been sleeping on a mattress directly on the floor for the last 20 years. My girlfriend says that only immature Peter pan men sleep on mattresses on the Floor. I like this style, many eastern cultures do this, I'm torn between my girlfriend's demand and my freedom to sleep the way I choose. What should I do?

Dump her because she is going to dump you within the month anyway. Leave with hand.

What kind of girlfriend makes that kind of threat? You deserve better.

Exactly this. She is likely the kind of woman that will see that you easily cave to threats and blustering and she will continue to do so in other aspects of your life. If you like her then just ignore it or tell her to get over it. Seriously. The only way to deal with this kind of thing if you want to make a difficult relationship work is if you agree to be difficult yourself. They feed off it.

goodtimebedtime wrote:

That's right. I've been sleeping on a mattress directly on the floor for the last 20 years. My girlfriend says that only immature Peter pan men sleep on mattresses on the Floor. I like this style, many eastern cultures do this, I'm torn between my girlfriend's demand and my freedom to sleep the way I choose. What should I do?

WTF bro? Get a bed frame. It will look better and you have kinky time with GF by adding fun things to it.

She's just looking for an out. She's already emotionally left the relationship.

You give in to this one and you will have these ultimatums continuing anytime she wants to change something. Call her on her bluff and see if she actually dumps you... or just dump her yourself. You deserve better