Are weddings a waste of money?

No marriage

No kids

Listen to the master:

https://youtu.be/bsAUorLKQps

No they aren’t if can afford what what you want. If you have to take a loan to pay for one then it’s not worth it.

i cant any more wrote:

Thanks again for good discussion everyone.

For those saying that my woman’s family would pay for it, that still seems stupid. Many men are not too prideful to take money, but why take what they don’t need? Again, marriages are unnecessary. I like what a few others have said and put the money forth to a good trip, a home upgrade, etc. As of now, a good plan seems to have tiramisu cake from Olive Garden and just stay in a nice back yard if I ever do get married, ha!

If her (or your) parents pay for it, then think of it as them spending money on themselves. You're not really "taking" money from them, because they enjoy the wedding and family gathering as much if not more than you do.

Do exactly what you and your fiancé want to do. It is YOUR wedding, and no one else’s. Now, if you want different things, that makes it harder, obviously. But if you’re independent adults, what other people want shouldn’t matter. Again, YOUR wedding. You only get one. Is this naive for lots of families who DO think that it’s their place to tell their adult relatives what to do? Of course. But, in my mind, that shouldn’t change my first two sentences.

The real way to do a wedding and marriage right is to marry an asian (preferably a first generation south viet girl).

Because the culture has a collectivist mentality, everyone gives serious cash to help you start your married life. We actually made money on the wedding. Asians also aren't into weird church ceremonies, so we saved money there too. Didn't have to spend big on a dress because my wife got a custom made Ao Dai. Catering was done by a high end asian catering company with tons of unique dishes, think lots of shellfish, crispy pork, bao, roast duck, green tea cake etc.

Bonus: all the non-asians who attended got a "cultural experience" they can talk about at their boring white people parties. It has been 5 years, and fellow white people who attended are always ask what XYZ thing served at my wedding is called. I once heard the managing parter at my law firm describe my wedding as "the coolest party I have ever been to."

The engagement ring is the waste of money. A good party is worth it.

i cant any more wrote:

My girlfriend wants to get married, and I also got invited to a wedding. Would pay money for both experiences. I think they are overpriced and financially abusive, I do not want to support businesses that profit off of inflated priced services. Anyone agree?

Try out a Bachelorette party first, typically are less than half the cost of a wedding. #lastflingbeforethering

The purpose of a traditional wedding is for a man and woman to pledge their life to each other and to make it their mission to help the other reach Heaven. The point is to stand up in front of their community, friends, family, God and take those vows. We invite the people we love and respect to our weddings so that the promises made are more serious. The audience is there to witness the vows and to hold the bride and groom accountable for the words they speak that day.

Of course many weddings have moved away from this serious thing into selfish, secular nonsense. It's turned into a birthday party for grown women. Spouses don't take their vows seriously anymore. Many people consider divorce to be a valid acceptable outcome from a marraige, instead of a shame on all involved.

As far as the cost, that should be the least of anyone's concerns, when you are dealing with pledging your life to someone. Love of God and love of family should be so far above and beyond your concerns with money. Besides, traditionally the brides' family pays for the wedding. That has been the tradition for centuries

highhoppingworm wrote:

I don’t mean to be overly pedantic but everything that isn’t an appreciating asset is a “waste of money” on some level.

Your tolerance for and desire to spend money to adhere to cultural norms, enjoy material possessions, travel etc. are a personal decision. So I guess the better question is... do you find value in spending money to have a big party with your family and friends to celebrate your marriage? Does your fiancé find value in this?

This is the most correct answer so far. We spent $35k or so on our wedding. Both our parents chipped in $10k and we covered the remaining $15k. The things we spent more money on than "normal" were food and photographer ($6k). We wanted to throw a great party and have beautiful photos to remember it by. We look at the photos all the time now with our kids and they make us smile to remember that day. We didn't spend as much on DJ ($850) or venue. Figured we could just direct the inexpensive DJ on what we wanted to hear and told him to tone down the cheesy DJ stuff. He did and it was perfectly fine.

Of course there are other more pragmatic ways to spend tens of thousands of dollars. If you can afford it with cash and contributions from family, a nice wedding is something you'll remember as one of the best days of your life. Not everything has to be completely justifiable in in terms of expenses, assuming you can "afford it." If you're looking for justification, you won't find it. Don't go into debt for it. We have a good marriage, a true partnership. That day fits in beautifully with the memories and thoughts I have about my wife and marriage.

i cant any more wrote:

Are weddings a waste of money?

Yes

Most males will say yes, I imagine most females will say no.

I'd rather have the cash and go on a big honeymoon.

My wife and I had a small very low budget wedding, it was perfect for us. I've never once looked back or been at a big fancy wedding and had any regrets about our wedding. I guess the only thing that could have made it better would have been the location (in a perfect world a mountain with a view or something).

Some people are just divorce bait. You can tell which men and women will get divorced before they're even married. And yes, I agree with the poster who said the vows have less meaning these days, which is indeed a shameful reality. You have people considering divorce normal rather than a failure and embarrassment--which is what it is. But I guess when you're indoctrinated by a bunch of liberal lies throughout your life, your moral compass can get several degraded over time. Getting divorced when you have a child/kid under 18 should be a crime. The child will develop adverse childhood experiences which will affect them for the rest of their life. That itself is highly disturbing.

Whether or not you are religious, this is basically the right answer. Marriage can and should be the most important thing in most people’s lives and the glue for society and future generations.

It doesn’t work out for everyone, but society is better when it works out for most people and most people take having a lifelong marriage a serious goal.

All that said, I think weddings should be a big deal where cows are taken seriously, and a big party is always fun, but they don’t have to be expensive and the cost should not be a burden,