BTW, does anyone else think the DSM 4 and DSM 5 criteria for BPD are really different?
BTW, does anyone else think the DSM 4 and DSM 5 criteria for BPD are really different?
Something for you:
Ruby Wax: What's so funny about mental illness?
http://www.ted.com/playlists/9/all_kinds_of_minds.html
• One thing that comes with it is a deep sense of shame because people don't understand if you can't show them an xray.
• How come every other organ in the brain can get sympathy except the brain?
We need a good outlet for our emotions - cavemen had it, what do we do with the stress? Internalize it until it causes brain damage
A Tale of Mental Illness
http://www.ted.com/playlists/9/all_kinds_of_minds.html
• [Important for you]"Occupying my mind with complex problems has been the most powerful and reliable defense against my mental illness."
• "There are not schizophrenics. There are people with schizophrenia"
• Fight stigma and prejudice of mental illness
Music is medicine, music is sanity
Was married to one for nearly three years before I pulled the plug on the marriage. She was what I would call a high-functioning borderline.
How it went down...
We looked like we were meant to be together. We looked unbelievably compatible in looks and personality, and intelligence. Oddly similar backgrounds and career paths. Intense courtship ensued...intense sex for months. We never really fought at all in the beginning of our relationship. My borderline was incredibly good at saying ALL THE RIGHT things and molding herself to my personality. They call this MIRRORING. They make you believe that you are the world's gift.
Naturally, we decide to get married. Everything is off-the-charts spectacular. Huge engagement ring, beautiful engagement photos, perfect wedding day, best honeymoon.
Marriage is a partnership, but she has gotten her way on everything up until this point. This all about control. I start saying NO more often, standing my ground, and start becoming DEVALUED. Says she wants child a mere year into marriage and I tell her "no, let's wait"...and I am instantly painted black.
The sex stops completely, she picks fights over the smallest things. Starts criticizing everything about me...my job, my family, my friends, my hobbies. Explosive bouts of anger. Like a previous poster said...they start breaking you down so there is nothing left of you. My borderline did not have hobbies, friends, or anything that really motivated her. She made sure I felt the same about my life. All the while, you are walking on eggshells, placating, pacifying, do anything to make them happy.
They are the life of the party in social settings and at work, yet a complete monster in the comfort of your own home. Jekyll and Hyde. They hurt the ones closest to them.
I ask for a divorce...and I am instantly a stranger to her. Every time she looks at me it is a cold, lifeless stare.
You are merely an object to a person with BPD. If she has no use for you, than you really aren't a person, and you don't exist.
I once tried being sympathetic to my ex-wife post divorce. It was probably the cruelest conversation I have ever experienced in my entire life.
The problem is, as a normal person with honest feelings, you still love them with all your heart. All of that emotional invest doesn't disappear overnight.
...but they can turn off emotions like a switch and it makes you wonder if they ever really loved you at all.
Focus on challenging your mind. Replace your obsession with me with something else. You are very talented. Your mind moves fast and I think because of it, you need to constantly challenge it. I call it "psychological talent".
Two areas I feel like you are exceptional at are:
1. Progress metrics
2. Plan formulation
3. Identifying potential problems
I will start another thread if you want to help me with a project I might want to turn into a business.
I found another video I really like.
Just crazy enough
Thanks for sharing those Ted talks. Really helpful.
You're welcome.
Here's a tip: don't get with anyone who likes to medically label people.
And also is it the BPD causing problems or YOU?
Because she asked for it. In my county, custody is primarily purchased from the judges by the attorneys. In most cases, it is the mentally ill who are awarded sole custody because a sane person understands that it is in the child's best interests to have two parents involved and would never ask for sole custody.
Anonymouse wrote:
Hopefully I am not prying too deeply, but how was she awarded sole custody of your son? Was she just able to shroud over the evil before the court?
There is a guy locally where I live who says he can cure the Borderline in two years. He is an expert and probably uses Linehan's eclectic therapy. I suspect that what he means by 'cure' is that they could pass a psych exam as non-Borderline. Basically, the short answer is that they can be trained to act appropriately but it will never 'feel' right to them because they are hard-wired to act the way they do.
chump change wrote:
Can they learn to control their emotions, or learn to have stable, "normal" relationships? Are they doomed to being alone with everyone keeping them at arm's distance?
Is there truly such a single exam out there relied on by professionals? Just wondering.
In my own life I've always just gone by the metric: kinda odd, crazy, bats***, scary psychopath.
[quote]Fat Boy wrote:
...they could pass a psych exam as non-Borderline.
[quote]chump change wrote:
This is what BPD looks like:
http://www.sfgate.com/news/texas/article/Texas-woman-charged-in-Obama-ricin-threat-4587025.php
Maxell wrote:
The sex stops completely, she picks fights over the smallest things. Starts criticizing everything about me...my job, my family, my friends, my hobbies.
They are the life of the party in social settings and at work, yet a complete monster in the comfort of your own home. Jekyll and Hyde. They hurt the ones closest to them.
...but they can turn off emotions like a switch and it makes you wonder if they ever really loved you at all.
I don't know. This just sounds like women to me. It is a mental illness, somewhat.
Because you only need to meet 5 of the 9 criteria to be diagnosed as having BPD, there are 256 potential combinations. If you put 10 BPD people in a room together, odds are no two of them will manifest their BPD in the same way.
My ex had it no doubt