Ladies, is there a tactful way to convince a girl to start exercising?

Buy her a full length mirror, then offer to be a gentleman and fix it to her wall... sideways

Howsa boutsa this:

Ask her to go to a race that you run in or, better yet, volunteer to work.

Have her with you, say at the finish line, as the "masses" finish.

She's bound to comment on the SLOW, fat people. Then, ok this is a departure from the letsrun norm, praise them and tell her how running is fun and healthy. Offer to get her running and to run her first 5K with her.

I did this and you know what? After that first 5K- she repaid me by taking a shower with me. Not kidding.

'I did this and you know what? After that first 5K- she repaid me by taking a shower with me'

and you both fit in at once?

Get a Kinect or Wii fit. I am not kidding.

NO SLEEP TIL BROOKLYN wrote:

I see why you want to convince her to not let her go, but it may not go over well. Maybe just speaking in general terms about facts is better. Remind her how much harder it gets to lose weight as you get older. I've given people the example that I gained 5 pounds after not running for 6 months when I was 26. When I was 36 I didn't run for 10 weeks and gained 10 pounds. 8 months later I am still getting rid of those last 2-3 pounds. A personal story makes it seem less of you, in a superior position, giving advice.

Worst advice ever.

Someone legitimately overweight has no interest in hearing the story of the time a runner gained 5 pounds. That just sounds really condescending.

I have a good friend in a similar situation. I am worried abut her physical and mental health. I have invited her many times to come for a run/walk (we used to run all the time together after work and ran a half marathon together) with me or come to the gym with me (which is insanely cheap where we work at a college and close by), have raved about the (cheap and smart) personal trainer I have at gym and how good I feel working out...that's all I can do. I won't nag her or make her feel bad--just hope that one day she will decide on her own to get off the couch. I guess we just have to be supportive, etc.

The best way is if you can get her to initiate proceedings. Ask her what New Years Resolutions she made, or what she'd most like to do/change this year. If she mentions losing weight, say "that's it, i'm going to do everything i can to help". That way it's coming from her.

This is on you..only you.

two choices....choose to not associate with this friend or just let it go and see where it ends up..she might eventually "get it", she might not.

You cannot save the world

Clearly, from the crazy assortment of replied that you've gotten, its obvious that this isn't an easy subject. And since none of the posters on here know the lady you're talking about, its hard to actually give you helpful advice.

As a chick, what I would do if it were my friend (and mind you I'm 5'8'' and 125lbs ... so overweight friends aren't too comfortable around me sometimes) is the following:

Scenario if she secretly wants to get in shape:

1) Tell her your New Year's resolution is to eat healthier and to loose some extra fat. At this point gauge her reaction. If she doesn't seem annoyed at this then: 1a) Ask her if she'd be interested in doing this with you / helping you... since the buddy system works better, but if she seems upset then go to ...

Determined Not To Care About her Weight

2) Same story line about starting a healthier new you. Say the books you've read on tips encourage hanging out with like minded people... so you'd really really love it if she'd do this with you.

If she really gets angry at any of this type of prodding... well, then hang out with her less - because of reason 2), but always suggest you could use her help to reach your goals when you do see her. Making the decision to change your habits can take a while... eventually all my bigger friends did at least start to acknowledge that they needed to change. Be there for her when that happens.

What if she gets on board? Does she have an iPhone? Does she like to surf the web for info? Does she love to read?

The iPhone has an app that counts calories and tells you your caloric need based on lifestyle. Similar things can be found online for free. Also - self help books are filled with tips - brows B&N with her - some tips are great, some aren't, and I think that it just depends on the person.

Good Luck.

IllinoisMaster wrote:

She likely is having trouble coping with some problem. Why not be a friend and ask her about it?

And part of reason why maybe she hates exercising. I find most people who are overweight (like my own mother) are very unhappy with themselves due to some underlying reason.

To the OP, do you know her history? Has she always been overweight? Is she depressed about something? Maybe it could be a thyroid issue?

I have a close friend who used to exercise like crazy and had been on numerous diets but still couldn't lose the ideal weight or keep it off. She also has a VERY stressful job which I believe contributes to her weight because doesn't eat as well or tends to eat too much when she is stressed. I just try to encourage or support her the best way and sometimes I find, just listening her vent to me has helped her a lot.

DocLove wrote:

'I did this and you know what? After that first 5K- she repaid me by taking a shower with me'

and you both fit in at once?

This is why I love this site. I laughed for 30 seconds after reading it. Very clever and not too over the top.

That was the fun part- fitting us both in. I admit, it was a tight fit which is prolly why I enjoyed it so much.

not a counselor wrote:

To the OP, do you know her history? Has she always been overweight? Is she depressed about something? Maybe it could be a thyroid issue?

I know her history very well, but it complicates the question. No she hasn't always been overweight. Three or four years ago she had a much healthier weight. And yes, she is very depressed. I know her life story very well and, believe me, it's worth being depressed over. If somebody made a movie of it you'd bawl your eyes out start to finish. Seriously.

The weight gain is due to her eating habits and lack of exercise, and like I said before, the depression and eating habits have started to feed on each other. I'm worried about the course her life will take from here and feel that an exercise program could make a huge difference in where it goes. But all that hangs on whether or not it's possible to bring it up in a way that doesn't hurt her worse.

i only read one page of this thread. i think i saw a couple of good points.

but, here's what it boils down to.

she doesn't exercise. she clearly doesn't like to exercise, otherwise she would be.

you need to find activities that are FUN and disguised as exercise.

like dancing!

most girls like to dance.

take her dancing! every night! if you are not romantically interested in this girl, form a dance club or something. that way, you don't have to pay a lot of money for stupid dance lessons or going to idiot clubs.

just start a dance club at someone's house, invite some people, put on the tunes, and DANCE DANCE DANCE LIKE IT'S THE LAST LAST NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE

she probably hates running. i doubt she likes sports. i doubt she wants to go the gym.

but dancing? what girl doesn't like dancing?

but most people don't dance, because it's just not a part of the daily routine.

make it a part of the routine!

and don't be like "let's dance in order to lose some weight."

be like "i want to dance all the time but i don't get the chance. let's start a dance club!"

DANCE DANCE DANCE.

men were meant to play sports. women were meant to dance. that's the balance of nature.

Next time she gets naked in front of you, puke on her.

OK then- tell her you want to make her happy. Tell her you're gonna introduce her to running. Take her from step one to her first 5K.

Seriously. We on letsrun are competitors. I don't think most of us realize how running can change someone's life.

I was at a 5 mile race once, I ran it, was decently happy with my mediocre, for me, performance. MUCH MUCH later this slightly overweight woman finished in freaking tears because she NEVER thought she would run 5 miles! I was choking up. She didn't know me, but she came up and hugged me and told me that runners were great people who treated her as an equal.

Don't tell her it's cuz she's fat, tell her it's cuz running will make her happy.

Do it man- be her hero!

All of you trying to be nice are just telling him to lie.

Oh come on- if a little white lie makes her happy and gets him laid- then it is good.

Slip into the conversation that you're a chubby chaser and then in the next couple of weeks, tell her how good she's looking.