Would you break up with your gf for lying that she was a virgin?

Mr. Obvious wrote:

Hell I'd break up with her if she told me she was a virgin, whether she was lying or not.

Yeah. I think that whole virginity thing is pretty overrated. To the op, you'll probably get over it when your balls drop.

UncIe Buck wrote:

I had a girlfriend in college that said she was a virgin. After much persuasion we drove out of town and got a hotel room. She gave it up to me then afterwards told me that was much better than her first time back in high school.

I got dressed got in the car and left with the lying whore still laying on the bed.

______________________________

If this is true. Emphasis on "if" , then you are an IDIOT and a real JERK!

Keep_the_faith wrote:

OP,

Please disregard all the other nonsense that the other people have offered. Forget the girl. Why are you wanting to engage in pre-marital sex?? Shame on you. Can't you wait until you get married? Nothing will change between now and then. Think of yourself as a gift that you will give your wife.

Keep in mind most runners are liberal and therefore very loose with their morals. They don't think of pre-marital sex as a sin. But you know better. Otherwise you wouldnt have asked. For that I commend you. Be strong.

Translation:

I have a very weak mind. One that is prone to being influenced, even dominated by others. The fact that organized religions have cynically used basic human needs such as sexuality to exert control over the weak minded has never occurred to me. Nor has the fact that any individual or organization that concerns itself with the sexual practices of other consenting adults is pretty much the definition of a pervert.

And I truly lack the cranial capacity to see how hilarious it is to think that an all-powerful God who created the Universe in an instant would concern him/herself with whether or not someone is engaging in that most natural of human activities called sex.

I commend you for your similar level of weak-mindedness.

Ok, haven't checked up on this thread in 2 days, but I guess you guys need more faqs:

1) She told me she was a virgin, so yes, she did lie to me.

2) I have always had this gut feeling that she was lying about her virginity. I don't know why, I just did.

3) Yes, the letter was kept inside a metal box with a keyhole. I found the key and opened it, and inside was a letter proclaiming their intimacy or whatever, and how close he felt towards her. I admit that looking in her stuff was wrong, but I just had this mistrust feeling I couldn't resist.

4) I would not have had a problem if she wasn't a virgin if she would have told me from the very beginning. It sucks balls that the one you love has hid this from you for a while.

I'm guessing she regrets having sex with the guy and he only used her for sex, which is why she doesn't want to have sex with me; maybe she's scared that I'm going to leave her. I honestly still don't know what to do, or how to present this new found information to her. She's going to be furious that I looked in that stupid box, but I guess I have to man up and face her....

Mick Lovin wrote:

UncIe Buck wrote:

I had a girlfriend in college that said she was a virgin. After much persuasion we drove out of town and got a hotel room. She gave it up to me then afterwards told me that was much better than her first time back in high school.

I got dressed got in the car and left with the lying whore still laying on the bed.

______________________________

If this is true. Emphasis on "if" , then you are an IDIOT and a real JERK!

I definitely feel for you, Uncle Buck.

haha this is classic, my gf a few years back told me she wasnt a virgin and had been with only two guys......then the third time we had sex she told me i was the first guy, and was worried i would be pissed she lied about NOT being a virgin.

i was stoked, i had my doubts cause she was pretty tight and insisted she had been with two guys. lies about virgin or not is something girls do, if you get mad at that your weak, you get mad when she gives you the "lets be friends" speech cause you know she is lying about f***ing another guy and needs to drop you like a bad habit.

NO!

You should not have been reading the letter. It's your fault you even know about it. It's not a good thing to discuss the past relationships. Has she done anything to prove otherwise that she's not trust-worthy? If not, then relax.

runlikeagirl wrote:

NO!

You should not have been reading the letter. It's your fault you even know about it. It's not a good thing to discuss the past relationships. Has she done anything to prove otherwise that she's not trust-worthy? If not, then relax.

The above post is what will happen. She will turn the focus on YOU & that YOU are at fault for not trusting her & for breaking into the box. This is how women work & play games. She will start bawling & say I can't believe you broke into that box (to make herself feel better). IF she admits to lying (don't be surprised if she doesn't), she will probably say I only did it, because I liked you so much & was afraid you'd stop seeing me.

She will make YOU feel like the guilty one.

You're in a tough spot, because both of you are in the wrong. Her for lying & you for breaking into the box, but I feel she is definitely at the bigger fault for starting all this by LYING for years that she was a virgin. I can see why you're outraged!

Like I stated before, talk it out with her! If she's cool & admits it, this may work. Then apologize for breaking into the box & hug & cry etc. I don't see this as turning out well though.

Be strong brother.

Yeah, because she'd probably also lie about all the STD's she has crawling around up in that cooter.

runlikeagirl wrote:

NO!

You should not have been reading the letter. It's your fault you even know about it. It's not a good thing to discuss the past relationships. Has she done anything to prove otherwise that she's not trust-worthy? If not, then relax.

Just like a girl - trying to bluff your way around the main point, which is this: she lied. A relationship isn't a courtroom - there aren't rules of evidence. A lie is a lie.

OP: you don't necessarily need to break up with her, but I hope you've canceled your precipitate plan of marrying her.

2222222 wrote:

Just like a girl - trying to bluff your way around the main point, which is this: she lied. A relationship isn't a courtroom - there aren't rules of evidence. A lie is a lie.

OP: you don't necessarily need to break up with her, but I hope you've canceled your precipitate plan of marrying her.

Agreed; and as for you match.com stop trying to make excuses and analzye this. We are only concerned with the OP. This situation will bother him forever until its discussed and ultimately he will confront her about it reguardless of what anyone says because it will ALWAYS be on his mind going forward. Espeically if they have sex.

OP, like I said before call her out on it, and get your answer before you tell her how you found out. Question her like a cop.

Now she is all angry because I sucked off a retarded guy in the park, I think the relationship is over.

thejets wrote:

Now she is all angry because I sucked off a retarded guy in the park, I think the relationship is over.

You sucked a retaded guy in the park? What did you do, punch him or something?

A girl once told me she was a virgin. One night I was just begininig penetration she said stop! so I did, at wich point she replied " no one's ever done that before"!

Another told me she was a virgin then later admitted it as a lie.

These things happen. Seriously though don't be concerned that you searched her stuff. It's like why would you be willing to get married to someone if you didn't doo a little due dilegence and check out the trust worthyness of that person.

Just like Countries should check out a persons back ground before granting them citizenship! How much more before granting some one solitude and shelter in your hjome and intothe most intamate parts ofyour life!

wake Up America!

Do you guys think there might be a good way to use the virginity thing to talk her into having anal sex with me? Would it be wrong to tell her that I think she should stay a virgin but anal dosent count so its okay?

I think you should bring up that one day you were bored happened to find the key and get into the box and apologize. Then see what she does (don't bring up the sex thing at all unless she does). Then if she doesn't bring the issue up in a couple of days, bring the issue up by saying something along the lines of, "There is something that has been bothering me...", and then bring up the letter. Remember you were looking at her old letters because you love her and want to know more about her.

This way you come from a place of I care about you but... and not from a place of you lying bithc.

POW wrote:

I think you should bring up that one day you were bored happened to find the key and get into the box and apologize. Then see what she does (don't bring up the sex thing at all unless she does). Then if she doesn't bring the issue up in a couple of days, bring the issue up by saying something along the lines of, "There is something that has been bothering me...", and then bring up the letter. Remember you were looking at her old letters because you love her and want to know more about her.

This way you come from a place of I care about you but... and not from a place of you lying bithc.

Its BS he was looking because he was snooping. If you have to snoop at a person because you don't trust them you shouldn't be marrying them.

I would have broken up with her for not banging me after the first month lol.

Anyway seriously if she wasn't able to be up front with you about that then there are major issues. End it.

If the "chemistry"/nonsexual part of the relationship is THAT good between you two, just admit you snooped around and say you love her anyway.

That being said, she shouldn't be keeping old letters in a box anyway unless it still means A LOT to her. Usually this means she still has feelings for her ex and is not ready to "move on". IF she is ready to move on, then she should be ready to share those letters with you.

Hell I have old letters and photo albums of my college sweetheart in a box at my parent's house and I've let every woman that I was semi-serious (since they're visiting mom and dad) look into it if they wanted to. I keep the box around for my kids so they have an example of young (puppy) love not always working out when I have to give "the talk".

The whole "virgin" thing is OVERRATED and so is no sex before marriage.

Speaking in LETSRUN terms, would anyone run a race without "tune-up" races before, just so you can make that one race "special". Hell no, you run tune-ups so you can work out the kinks before the major championship race.

AND sex is NOT overrated. At some point your significant other will do something to p!ss you off. My wife still does now and then, but I just think to myself "she has nice b**bs and she sw@llows" and then I forgive her. It helps keep conflicts to a minimum.