48. Yes.No kids. Did good! She can deal with me, and that says allot.
48. Yes.No kids. Did good! She can deal with me, and that says allot.
I am almost 40. Have a few friends who are married with kids and are happy for now. Also have other friends who are married, both with and without kids who wish they were single like me.
I think the guys that would rather not be married have to deal with married life without the real benefits of being married i.e. regular sex and there are other stressors in life that makes the lack of sex not worth it. 2 of my closest friends feel a huge financial burden as a result of kids. Not everyone has that burden because of a better paying job, 2 income family or a non materialistic wife. The problem with marriage is that people change. Because divorce is an option and so common, marriage is kinda pointless. I think it forces people to stay together and be miserable. People can grow apart with time and it only takes one person in the couple to decide its over, even if the other is happy.
Kids are cute when they are young. But no one loves anyone else's teenagers. I personally don't want the responsibility. Have an older brother who is also single. Has a good job and is surely not gay. He would love to be a dad but he is inherently greedy and self fish and thinks being in love happens instantaneously. Have another older brother who is single but I am pretty sure he is gay though he hasn't admitted it.
I have been married but divorced for almost 20 years. Several years ago me and another unmarried buddy went skiing at Whistler with 8 other married guys.
I would ski all day, go out for a while and come back at a reasonable hour. The married guys came home between 4 and 6 every morning, sleep with any skank they could get, call prostitutes if need be. They had their one week away from the family and they let loose. It was just another night for me so it was no big deal.
no more cocoa wrote:
43, divorced since I was 28. A couple of years ago with my then girlfriend I saw a couple of college buddies and their families in front of a restaurant. I was talking to my buddies, the ladies were off to the side and the kids were playing. Both guys said they loved their wives and kids but if could do it over again they wouldn't get married.
I posted the reply above and then went back and re-read this thread...this is my post from 3 years ago.
seriously.... wrote:
no more cocoa wrote:43, divorced since I was 28. A couple of years ago with my then girlfriend I saw a couple of college buddies and their families in front of a restaurant. I was talking to my buddies, the ladies were off to the side and the kids were playing. Both guys said they loved their wives and kids but if could do it over again they wouldn't get married.
I posted the reply above and then went back and re-read this thread...this is my post from 3 years ago.
Too funny. Well, you might as well give us your 3-year update.
I'm in this situation somewhat. I am 40, never been married. I'm mostly happy. I wish I could get laid more. Sometimes I wish I had a nice woman to sleep in bed with me some nights too. Maybe not every night but it would be nice every now and then. I don't think I'm asking much. But nope. At night I hear nothing but crickets man.
Marriage is an important part of getting ahead: lets people know you're not a homo; married guy seems more stable; people see the ring, they think at least somebody can stand the son of a b!tch; ladies see the ring, they know immediately you must have some cash or your c0ck must work.
This thread is distinctly lacking the definition of what makes a real man
[quote]
But since sanity does not come in the feminine model, that will never happen. Not marrying them, btw, makes them work harder./quote]
true and true
I'm a 38 year old female and my boyfriend is 46. We've been together for years but don't live together; I have to say, the older you get, and the longer you've been on your own, the harder it is to think about living with someone else. Guess you can't teach an old dog new tricks. But when it comes to marriage and especially kids, I have never, EVER envied my married friends except when I see some of the cool presents they get at their wedding. I really value my freedom and space; I get as much sleep as I need and live a fairly stress-free life. My married friends would never say this.
Interesting thread.
Last week my single, 61-year-old brother-in-law had a stroke. He was married briefly in his twenties, but vowed never to tie the knot again after that relationship tanked. He is not Gay, has always dated off and on.
The stroke has left him unable to walk or use his right arm, and with unrecognizably slurred speech. He lives in a beautiful home in a rural area, but will most likely never be able to drive again. He owns several companies and is financially secure, but due to the nature of his work, with the effects of the stroke, he will not be able to continue to run his companies.
My husband is at a complete loss as to what to do with his brother. He has no children. There are no extended family members who feel obligated to provide this man with the daily care he needs...most likely for the rest of his life. He was a guy who showed up for all the family holidays and was the life of the party, but didn't put much effort into relationships with anyone.
When my husband last spoke to his brother's doctor, the doctor commented that the brother could be released from the hospital after PT
rehab since the girlfriend he mentioned would be coming to live with him and take care of him...There is no such girlfriend.
In my experience, everyone gets old. I'll put up with the minor irritations that go with marriage and child rearing to avoid getting old alone.
Lemon Drop wrote:
single, 61-year-old brother-in-law had a stroke.
The stroke has left him unable to use his right arm
A single guy who can't use his right arm, this is a very tragic story, I feel for him.
What is the point of living a solitary life? I mean, sure, leading an unencumbered life with no interpersonal responsibility might be a lure for some people. However, supporting and nurturing the wellbeing of my family is the most gratifying and rewarding aspect of my life.
Lemon Drop wrote:
Interesting thread.
In my experience, everyone gets old. I'll put up with the minor irritations that go with marriage and child rearing to avoid getting old alone.
Dont kid yourself, everyone dies alone.
AnonymousPseudonym wrote:
Lemon Drop wrote:Interesting thread.
In my experience, everyone gets old. I'll put up with the minor irritations that go with marriage and child rearing to avoid getting old alone.
Dont kid yourself, everyone dies alone.
True. Everyone dies alone. But not everyone dies loved.
Over 40 divorced. Nightmare relationship with ex. Kids are very disturbed and in a treatment program for multiple issues.
My "spouse picker" is broken and as result of bad decision my life is a living hell.
I married too young to the wrong person. I wish I could do it over again and stay single.
Now I'm anti marriage. At least for me it would have been best to focus on career, hobbies, friends. Dating is fine but NOT marriage.
Oh it's working...OVERtime...
One reason someone might live a solitary life is to devote themselves entirely to noble work. If your goal in life is to improve the world, getting married and having kids is a dubious way to do so. Let me explain: It is estimated that saving a life in an impoverished part of the world on average costs $2500. Most people that get married and have kids devote most of their resources to providing for their family. For example, the average cost of raising a child without tuition for a middle income family is $300,000. If you decide to have two kids, the opportunity cost of doing so is 240 lives ($300,000x2/$2500). You could instead donate that money to a cost effective charity (The Against Malaria Foundation is one example:
http://www.givewell.org/international/top-charities/AMF#Costperlifesaved
).
In addition, although you can try to raise your kids well, it is really a roll of the dice as to whether or not they turn out well. You have even less control over how your grandchildren, great grandchildren, etc on down the line will turn out.
I thought LRC was a bunch of 20-something dudes living in their parents basement training for an OT marathon qualifier. Who are all you people?
Creative writing students.