When I spill a sip down my shirt.
When I spill a sip down my shirt.
I should drink less wrote:
When you start to notice that driving is more difficult than usual.
Not funny ...at all! Friends, sons, daughters, moms, dads, wifes, husbands all have DIED from people who think this is funny. THINK.
You just made it even funnier.
Drunk is when you wake up the next day and SWEAR that you will NEVER drink again
Drunk is when a shot of Wild Turkey sounds good
Drunk is when Mexican food from a cart sounds AWESOME
Drunk is when you buy everyone a drink
Drunk is when X Runner looks good
Drunk is when you find yourself drinking and peeing at the same time ....a lot
but its not funny to drive drunk. It you don't believe me, I have a friend in a wheelchair and parents that lost their son that you can talk to.
sorry to be a buzz kill ...just THINK.
"plan ahead ...then get drunk"
how about when the intricate calculations involved in calculating an appropriate tip become too much for you, so that you start leaving tips ranging from 50% of the bill to nothing at all? Also, when you're singing along to a song, but you don't know the words, but it doesn't matter. Also, peeing on the side of a building.
or peeing in a friends garbage can...oops...
Or standing in your kitchen, laughing, as some other drunken schpag pisses in your sink.
When i wake up on my bathroom floor
The minute I stop feeling awkward in a social setting, I know that it is because I am drunk.
Holy cow...you people posting here are the funniest freaking people of the face of the earth. I'm at work and had to keep my from laughing by biting my tongue. That being said I know I'm drunk when I turn my head quickly to the left but right side of the bar is still in my field of vision.
When I say, "Wow! I don't even feel like I've been drinking!"
when i start thinking that charlie millioen is funny
When you go and get Taco Bell, McDonalds or both....
not so fast wrote:
Drunk is when you wake up the next day and SWEAR that you will NEVER drink again
Drunk is when a shot of Wild Turkey sounds good
Drunk is when Mexican food from a cart sounds AWESOME
Drunk is when you buy everyone a drink
Drunk is when X Runner looks good
Drunk is when you find yourself drinking and peeing at the same time ....a lot
but its not funny to drive drunk. It you don't believe me, I have a friend in a wheelchair and parents that lost their son that you can talk to.
I need to be drunk because Debbie Downer keeps droning on about the dangers of driving drunk.
When I dance better.
my friends and I have a great way of handling the driving situation...we all go out and get hammered then who ever is being the biggest jerk gets to drive home..we figure that person probably isn't as drunk as everyone because he's annoyed that everyone is more drunk than him...we either do that or just rock paper scissors at the end of the night
hasn't failed yet...knock on wood
I hope you live long enough to see how stupid you are. I also hope you don't rot in jail with a blown out a-hole because you killed someone.
When the nice man with the flashlight asks me if I've been drinking and I just smile.
when you wake up in someone elses bed