That's some kind of excuse making you've got going! Going to such lengths to justify being a self-riteous whimp, you are an inpiration to sensitivity trainers everywhere.
I seriously doubt that OP was trying to rat-f**k some religious experience or special circumstance his wife was onto. It was a joke, remember? Was the wife unaware of her husbands proclivity for playing (good)jokes? I'm not so sure that, in the end, the wife didn't find the prank funny anyway.
I get up and run at 4AM too, so what.
Love those pearls of wisdom your friend (is this friend retarded?) had to offer, even more that anyone would repeat something so dumb.
Don't mess with me or mine... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!