My Ex-Girlfriend Died

Serio · 2011-12-08T16:58:48-05:00

I almost transferred for this girl, we were very serious, but our relationship ended on very bad terms and quite suddenly. I did not speak to her for close to three years and in a job relocation I reached out to find her and see how she was doing. I couldn't really track her down (pre-Facebook), so I called her church and her choir teacher quizzed me quite harshly, like how could I not know something had happened, and finally she relented and said my ex had passed away a couple of years ago. I was stunned and asked what happened, when, and she didn't want to divulge any details. I hung up, searched Google more, found an obituary that I wasn't looking for, and am at a loss. I had moved on, I was just looking up an old friend, and it was sad. Yes, we ended harshly and not in the best way, but we were friends that had memorable times. I heard she had a daughter and a widow, but would it kill anyone else if you didn't know what your ex died of (be it addiciton, accident, disease, natural, suicide)?

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14 years ago 12/09/2011 3:58pm EST

re: Serio

Yes, no matter if it was years later and everyone was happily married with kids and grandkids, I would want to know how she died. If she had such a significant effect on your life, why not ask a few people some questions?

I don't think it's being a voyeaur. At her young age, it is not typical, and she leaves behind a daughter and a husband.

Don't you have some old mutual friends that you could ask?

Just tell them you have found this out recently and you are saddened to learn of her passing.

Also, I think anyone would have different reactions to death by car accident, terminal disease, robbery victim, or suicide.

14 years ago 12/09/2011 4:38pm EST

re: on topic

mine just got married.. so, same thing..

14 years ago 12/09/2011 4:51pm EST

re: CoachFlynn

CoachFlynn wrote:
Facebook is a social networking service and website launched in February 2004.
2004-present is seven and half years. Get your facts straight.

7 1/2 years? Are you sure about that? IDIOT!

14 years ago 12/09/2011 5:18pm EST

re: Serio

This story brings up painful memories to me. It is interesting how deep certain "bonds" are, upon further investigation. Do we ever really move on, or just distract ourselves by something else shinier.

14 years ago 12/09/2011 6:14pm EST

I had an ex girlfriend shoot herself in the head about 3 years after we split up. It's still sad even if it is an ex. I wasn't surprised by the news though as she was bi-polar and had threatened to kill herself before.

14 years ago 12/09/2011 6:28pm EST

re: Gnillort

Gnillort wrote:
This story brings up painful memories to me. It is interesting how deep certain "bonds" are, upon further investigation. Do we ever really move on, or just distract ourselves by something else shinier.

I knind of wonder about this too. I was with a girl all last year, and even though things changed and I stayed in it longer than I should have, I still think about her every day and miss her dearly due to how much I loved her and how great our relationship was the first several months we were together. We live 9 time zones apart now and do not communicate. I keep thinking back to where I was at this time last year... things were about as perfect as they could be.

14 years ago 12/11/2011 12:35am EST

Get over your melodrama. If it ended "badly" why do you still care? I've had relationships end badly, but that's the end of it. If I researched an old girlfriend and found out she was dead, my first reaction would be "wow, what happened?"

But that's the end of it. The religious aspect (calling her church) is screwing you up.

14 years ago 12/11/2011 1:50am EST

re: nothing shiny at the moment

"We live 9 time zones apart now and do not communicate."/quote

That's 135 degrees longitude ; if you're counting .

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