We need some more pieces of information:
- Have you done her from behind?
- If so, how often?
- Does she enjoy being 'done' from behind?
Answer these important questions, my friend, and we can give you a plan of action.
We need some more pieces of information:
- Have you done her from behind?
- If so, how often?
- Does she enjoy being 'done' from behind?
Answer these important questions, my friend, and we can give you a plan of action.
getting upset wrote:
I do everything I can for her and she acts like I'm a jerk for not doing even more. I'm not perfect, but I never raise my voice to her, I never intentionally try to upset her, I will even end arguments just because I don't want to argue with her. Coming here to letsrun and being told by everyone I AM in the wrong when I'm putting everything I can into someone I care about is pretty defeating.
You're trying too hard. Chicks aren't really turned on by that, and they'll take advantage of it. In the end, you get upset.
It sounds like you want more validation or praise for the effort you put into the relationship, but you won't get it from a chick like that. Do what makes you happy rather than trying to please her every minute. She'll probably be more attracted to your independent spirit then when you're answering to her every beck and call.
And it's OK to be a jerk and yell if you feel like you're being treated poorly. Tell her how you feel. Her behavior obviously makes you upset, but venting on this message board doesn't do shit. Tell her you're sick of her crap and be mad about it, or else how is she going to know this bothers you?
Red Stripe helps to ease minor aches and pains. Pop the top on a bottle and day dream of some tight Jamaican beauties.
Listen man, you seem like a nice guy so I will be honest with you.
You are super anxious. You need to learn to relax.
If you do something nice for someone, you shouldn't act like they owe you something in return. Part of a relationship is wanting to help the other person. Wanting. Wanting to help them.
If you do not want to help them or do nice things for them, you are probably with the wrong person.
1st issue: I can see where she might be upset about the Mountains weekend. If you told her you were going and then canceled at the last minute, that is kind of dick. She is probably more mad that you are acting like it is no big deal. Still, talk to her about it.
2nd issue: Dude, I will break it to you right here... parking tickets come with the territory. Wait until you have a family. You are going to get them, just relax about it. You obviously spent the whole time worrying about it, that is annoying to her. Just enjoy yourself and worry about the ticket later. It is nothing to stress about.
3rd Issue: Cancel the road trip right now. If you cannot go and have fun, cancel it. If you are pinching pennies the whole time, it will just be a stress inducing ride of pain for both of you. Go camping instead. Do something cheap and fun so that you will not stress out. You are in no position to take this girl on a long car trip.
Here is the deal... you are getting her hopes up by telling her you will do these things for her and then crushing her expectations. Instead, focus on small things like cooking her dinner, etc. You will be much more happy.
Seriously.
Newtroll Observer wrote:
If you do something nice for someone, you shouldn't act like they owe you something in return. Part of a relationship is wanting to help the other person. Wanting. Wanting to help them.
1st issue: I can see where she might be upset about the Mountains weekend. If you told her you were going and then canceled at the last minute, that is kind of dick. She is probably more mad that you are acting like it is no big deal. Still, talk to her about it.
2nd issue: Dude, I will break it to you right here... parking tickets come with the territory. Wait until you have a family. You are going to get them, just relax about it. You obviously spent the whole time worrying about it, that is annoying to her. Just enjoy yourself and worry about the ticket later. It is nothing to stress about.
3rd Issue: Cancel the road trip right now. If you cannot go and have fun, cancel it. If you are pinching pennies the whole time, it will just be a stress inducing ride of pain for both of you. Go camping instead. Do something cheap and fun so that you will not stress out. You are in no position to take this girl on a long car trip.
Here is the deal... you are getting her hopes up by telling her you will do these things for her and then crushing her expectations. Instead, focus on small things like cooking her dinner, etc. You will be much more happy.
Seriously.
I have said multiple times now that I do things for her because I want to make her happy, not so that she'll owe me anything. I don't even need to be told thanks. I just don't want her to disrespect me.
1. I talked to her about it in person two days beforehand (we had only been planning it for a week), and I was very apologetic. I did not act like it wasn't a big deal. I said that any other weekend would work. She was not understanding at all.
2. I didn't flip out or anything. I didn't even say anything. She's extremely sensitive to my behavior though, and if I stop being my 100% cheery self for 5 minutes she starts interrogating me. I did not act like it was a big deal at all, nor did I blame her for it. I didn't want to ruin the rest of the day, so even though I was kind of annoyed, my only reaction was to be a little quiet for a while as I tried to forget about it. She started getting upset over this.
3. I've thought about cancelling it. I've thought about a lot of things recently. I'm not pinching pennies. I have plenty of money in the bank right now and am not cutting corners. However, I will run out of money next year (senior year of school), so money is of value to me. It's not the money, it's just the overall abundance of resources I'm putting into this and her lack of appreciation for it.
Finally, how am I crushing her expectations? I've come through on 6/7 events so far, and the one that I didn't, we simply resheduled for the following weekend, so really that's 7/7. Nobody asked me to do any of these things any way. It's not my duty to take her all over and show her different things. I do those things because I want to make her happy. And we do do plenty of small things together, multiple times every week. It's nice to do something besides hang out every once in a while though.
To add to some excellent advice already given, I want to ask: why are you dating this woman?
By that, I don't mean "you shouldn't be dating this woman." I just mean: "WHY"? Always know why.
Do you know what you want from this relationship, and from life? And, less importantly, do you know what she wants from this relationship, and from life? I think the answer to both questions is no. But they are important questions - your priorities most importantly, and then hers.
It's not the perfect book, but I do think you'll get something out of reading _No More Mr. Nice Guy_, by Robert Glover. Figure out what you want. Follow that path. Make your own decisions, which sometimes will put your own self-interest first, and sometimes the other person's - as a deliberate choice, not a resentful compromise. And don't look back.
Good luck.
It sounds like she doesn't respect you. Or, at least the things you are doing. I won't try to evaluate whether you deserve respect... you are who you are, and you need to be with someone who digs that.
My first instinct reading your story was "I wonder if this relationship would be intact if you didn't have a car, vaccuum cleaner, etc... i.e. all the "stuff" that she doesn't have?" You sound like a "giver", and she sounds like a "taker".
It sounds like money is tight for you. Like an earlier poster suggested, you are in no position financially to be taking elaborate road trips that stress you out. Do simple, or free stuff together, and tell her that money is tight, so you won't be able to do anymore road trips, etc that cost that much. Leave the car parked for a month. See if she sticks around.
Dude, relax, I have the perfect solution to your problem:
Grow some spine, kid. Else, you'll be like this all your life. She'll be gone after she's done with you. Then the next one will come along to take advantage of you.
William Henley wrote:
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
Looks like for you it is:
She is the master of your fate:
She is the captain of your soul.
Dont let her get a taste of this giant african black snake. One she goes black, she will never go back.
If you bang her fvcking brains out, she will shut up and stop complaining.
Anything else?