What's your best pickup line?

X-Runner wrote:

I actually said " I think we should f... tonight" to a girl I just met. And we did...

You forgot to finish your last sentence, so I'll do it for you.

"And we did, in my wet dream."

a friend in college used to hit the bars and just go up to girls and ask them if they wanted to fvck. eventually one would say yes. he had no standards, but he got laid all the time.

that could be stated the other way: he got laid all the time, but he had no standards.

they were usually fugs.

i know im a dick wrote:

that could be stated the other way: he got laid all the time, but he had no standards.

they were usually fugs.

It could be stated yet another way: He had no standards and died of AIDS.

Condoms are your friends.

Best pickup line:

Heave... hoooo.

do you like my face?

Whooooooooo wants a moustache ride?!

"You look exactly like my first wife"

Hopefully she responds with "How many times have you been married?"

"Never"

Roses are red,

Violets are blue;

I like spaghetti,

Let's go f***.

Open Wide, baby.

Just seronade her with this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ABAmEl6_Yg

Hey baby, my balls are swollen for you. (said as slowly as possible.)

When with two other guys:

"How do you feel about having three guys inside of you at the same time"

Works every time.

"My son is Autistic."

A guy actually hit on me with this one. Could there be a behavior more vile than using your child's disability to get sympathy and affection from women?

^You didnt wait for the rest of it. He was actually going to add, can you look after him while I go and hit on that woman over there.

Lithe Chick with a Heart wrote:

"My son is Autistic."

A guy actually hit on me with this one. Could there be a behavior more vile than using your child's disability to get sympathy and affection from women?

He was trying to get his retarded son laid. You uncaring witch.

Nah, he said he plants the kid in front of the juke box and lets him stare at the flashing lights while he hangs out at the bar.

Props to:

1) Mr. Obvious

"Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?"

This "line" is brilliant, because it deconstructs the whole idea of using a line (intended to break the ice and show the woman that you are not a creep or serial killer, which is precisely what this action would convey, if serious), and almost certainly this is designed to fail except perhaps in very rare hands.

2) give a little

"He was trying to get his retarded son laid. You uncaring witch."

Not a pickup line but well played.

3) cmon dude

Lick your fingers, then touch her shoulder, and say, "Ooh, let's get you out of those wet clothes."

This is amusingly slimy. Only women can lick their fingers. To work, the first part would have to be a lot subtler, as women would consider it "icky" and the guy a creep unless he looked like Tom Brady (that Saturday Night Live skit with him accurately showed how exactly the same behavior by different guys would work for one and get a sexual harassment lawsuit for another).

To the rest, thanks for playing.

I hold the US record for the mile. Want to come back to my crib for some general tsos and pizza?