Anybody else 40 and not married?

I'm just flattered that you'd bother to notice and recognize me. Just to save us both some trouble: no thanks, I'm not into guys.

I dont need nobody wrote:

RTI wrote:No, but I likely will be.

Agreed. Anyone who will post a dozen times to argue that a 13:15 5K runner should never, ever be referred to as a "stud" has enough issues that even the most desperate woman will smell danger.

So adding a layer of beaurocratic complixity automatically makes the relationship more stable? Interesting theory.

23 violates the law of 7.

To avoid "sketchiness," restrict dating to women no less than half your age + 7.

42/2+7+28. So, 23 is, indeed, "sketchy."

Thank you Dr. Phil

Apache wrote:

23 violates the law of 7.

To avoid "sketchiness," restrict dating to women no less than half your age + 7.

42/2+7+28. So, 23 is, indeed, "sketchy."

Believe me, the ones that act like there is something wrong with you for not being married when you're older are the ones that wish they would have stayed single. Although they'll never admit it.

I met my wife on Match.com when I was 44 and we married when I was 46. We celebrate our 5th anniversary in a couple of months. There's still time. You might try eHarmony.com.

Most of all, don't even begin to worry about it being over for you. If you want it to happen, you can make it happen--or rather, you can stay in the game, use the tools available to you, keep working on improving yourself AND accepting yourself, read a few self-help/relationship/NewAge books to add a little fuel to the fire, and most of all: don't give up. It ain't over till it's over.

Marriage is the biggest scam ever. Only insecure losers with no friends get married.

Be proud that you are gay.

I have plenty of friends. Problem is they are all married and can't hang out any more. At age 42 this is watch you find.

They hang out more with the other marreid friends with kids and more things in common.

Over 50, happy and single. Went thru the big D at 37. Agree with poster who said married people are co-dependent.

There are definitely advantages to statying single. You have almost unlimited personal freedom, fewer expenses, and can focus on yourself. Too many guys get married just because they think that's what they're supposed to do. I'm not opposed to marriage, but I think its unlikely that I'll ever find anybody I want to marry, and I'm not going to lower my standards. I'd rather never get married than do what my father did, which was marry the first person who was stupid enough to say yes. I'll be far happier than many of my married friends.

rojosenior wrote:

I'm on my way...mid 30s. Dating a virgin right now, if you can believe that. Will I hang in, marry her, and pop the cherry? Stay tuned.

She sounds like a very lucky girl.

oh yes wrote:

rojosenior wrote:

I'm on my way...mid 30s. Dating a virgin right now, if you can believe that. Will I hang in, marry her, and pop the cherry? Stay tuned.

She sounds like a very lucky girl.

rojosenior seems like a laid back, good sense of humor, down to earth guy who doesn't take himself too seriously.

oh yes, you on the other hand are probably an uptight idealist. probably young, naive, and will subject some poor girl to you legalistic views (most likely psycho-christian).

i would rather have a beer with rojosenior any day.

RTI wrote:

Not a big deal, beats settling and raising kids ... Seems like a dumb ritual that only costs you money that could have been spent on really worthwhile things, such as traveling or education or a mail-order bride.

Since you have no kids, you have no authority when speaking about raising kids. I have both raised kids and been single/married without kids, so I can speak from experience. Very little, if anything (including staying single and childless), in this world beats raising kids, but I'm glad you are not doing it.

Yomama wrote:

Marriage is the biggest scam ever. Only insecure losers with no friends get married.

Then why are all the homos wanting to jump into it?

creep wrote:

same here wrote:

I'm 41 and not married. I've been with my boyfriend for several years, but he doesn't want to get married. I thought I was OK with that, and just realized that I am not. Not sure what to do. He's a great guy but I don't like to feel so uncertain about the future.

your bf is smart.. the only reason women marry is to divorce their husbands

Haven't heard that one before, but I like it!

To the OP, do you want to get married? If you don't, what's the big deal? I know plenty of people who are <22 and are either married or have kids or both. I don't want that at all. In fact, I don't think I'd ever want that given what I've seen of kids and married couples. Just because most people think it's normal to get married and have kids doesn't mean it's the right thing or the best thing to do for everyone.

About the sketchy with 23 year old girls, I totally understand. Shit, I'm 20 and sometimes I feel out of place talking to 18 year old girls. There's a large variability of maturity in young adults.

actual facts wrote:

Since you have no kids, you have no authority when speaking about raising kids. I have both raised kids and been single/married without kids, so I can speak from experience. Very little, if anything (including staying single and childless), in this world beats raising kids, but I'm glad you are not doing it.

What kind of logic is this? By that standard, only minorities can talk about discrimination. Only poor people can talk about poverty and how to solve it. What's wrong with Africa right now? I can't say because I'm not African or because I've never been there, apparently I can't have an opinion or at least an opinion 'with authority' as to that matter.

You're also discounting the fact that he probably grew up with siblings, and that in a sense is like parenting.

actual facts wrote:

Very little, if anything (including staying single and childless), in this world beats raising kids, but I'm glad you are not doing it.

I have not had kids but I'm sure if the kid somehow turned out to be a rotten psycho or something, there would be a few things in the world that would beat raising that kid.

actual facts wrote:

Very little, if anything (including staying single and childless), in this world beats raising kids, but I'm glad you are not doing it.

You sound like those stay at home moms (or dads) who think staying at home and raising kids while the other parent works is the hardest job in the world (which it is not).