Was I wrong to take off my wedding ring?

I knew a guy who couldn't wear wear his ring. Once he retired guess what? He could magically wear the ring again. His problem was work and career choice-related, not wife-related. I took a long time for his wife to accept, but after he retired she was certainly happier.

In a lot of trouble wrote:

I have pretty sensitive skin. About a week ago the inside of my ring finger was itching me like crazy. There was a rash, I lost skin from the scratching, etc.

Well when she came home she FREAKED out that I took the ring off. She acted as if I fu**ed another chick. I tried explaining to her the situation clamly. She stormed out of the house, spent the night at a friends. When I came home from work the next day she had packed most of her clothes and said it was over.

You sound like a pussy and your wife sounds like a nutjob. Please don't have kids.

I hate to say it, but your wife does sound a little crazy, or as previously stated, she's looking for an excuse to get out.

I get the same thing under my wedding finger and have to take it off for 3-4 days at a time for it to heal. My wife notices i'm not wearing my ring, but thats as far as it goes, sometimes a little joke is made. But dude, that reaction is uncalled for. Don't take her back, you'll have a lifetime of misery with her.

Or at the very least when you do get to talk with her, tell her to 'sort her sh1t out'

If things come right, don't go to the beach with her as you may need to remove your ring so you dont loose it swimming. God help you if it feel off or anything

Anyway, the moral of the story is to give her a reality check and tell her to pull her head in

Sounds totally bizarre. I take my ring off when preparing meals and during any athletic activity where I might lose it or damage it. (free weight bars will leave marks) I once got fertilizer under it when I was working in the yard and got a nasty rash. I had to leave the ring off for a few days for it to heal.

The point is taking your ring off is going to be a necessity from time to time. If you or your spouse can't recognize that then you sir are in serious trouble. If you're taking your ring off when you hit the bars then your wife has a right to be pissed. If you're taking it off because there's a science experiment going on underneath then she needs to deal with it or you need to call 1-800-lawyers.

Hopefully you haven't been procreating.

I agree with other posters. Seems your wife is not secure in the marriage vows. I have been married 17 yrs. and do not wear a ring as I do warehouse work. I allude to my wife if many conversations at work etc.so that it is clear i am married.However my wife just traded up to her fourth wedding ring. A good union of 2 is based on trust and not any material proof.I believe your wife is looking for an exit strategy, better to face this head on now then with kids,mortgage, etc .. by the way my wife does not concern herself that I do not wear a ring.

She doesn't trust you because she doesn't trust herself (She's beeing f*cking other guys).

If you are telling the whole story here, and this is the first time she has ever reacted like this, there is a slim chance there could be a medical condition behind it. If the people she is talking to don't think there is anything psychological going on (affair, etc), she should go see a doctor and have her hormone levels checked, and just an overall checkup to see if she is OK.

Most likely either we're not getting the whole story, she has issues you never knew about, or there is something going on that she hasn't told you yet. But medical issues are a slim possibility, and one worth looking into if you really don't think it's any of these things. She could also be developing a psychological condition that involved paranoia or whatever. Either way, if this behavior is extremely out of character for her, the next step is to see a doctor.

She's pregnant. Congratulations!

maybe she has an emotional friend

I had a very long affair with a married woman. She removed her ring before sex and returned it after. She wore it when we were out in public but in bed she was always ringless.

Although aware I just kept my yap shut.

If you vowed never to take it off your wife sees it as breaking one of the marriages vows. She takes ...with this ring I thee wed...just as seriously as ...till death do us part.

Absent trollism--- am betting your wife is deeply religious.

If I am correct you are in for a long tortuous marriage.

Most men are bright enough to bring it up before doing it and most women are bright enough to understand.

Trust is gone, along with it nonprocreational sex and even that apparent boon is not a given anymore.

divorce...everyone's doing it

Trollism aside interesting topic.

Assuming she calms down and decides to talk to you, I would recommend one thing very seriously: Do NOT apologize. Regardless of how much you want her back, do NOT accept any blame for this situation.

If you do, you will be enabling this type of behavior on her part for the rest of your marriage. You don't have to be a pompous ass about it, but you cannot let her believe that (1) you were wrong to take your ring off and (2) she had the right to overreact and treat you this way.

You need to be sure that there is no question as to the fact that this was unacceptable on her part and should never occur again. What will happen to you if you actually screw up in your marriage (and you will, everyone does)? What if you stay out too late one night? Forget to call and check in? Forget flowers on your anniversary? If she blew up like this over something as trivial as you taking your ring off for a very good reason, how is she going to handle something that you simply screwed up?

I'm not entirely sure that I understand your comment, and this certainly isn't a subject about which I have any expertise or experience, but it sounds as though you're describing a set of values that places fidelity to a ring above fidelity to a spouse. That sounds very twisted to me. Is it typical for marital vows to include a promise never to take off the ring (except, apparently, when having extramarital sex)?

Assuming there is an ounce of truth to the OP, the wearing of the ring is certainly being overvalued by the wife. It's what the ring represents that counts.

My wedding ring is probably off more than on. It's never on when I sleep, run, do any work around the house or, for that matter, when my wife and I have sex. I'm simply too afraid to lose it.

It's a symbol and that's all.

Rings plug no holes

Just My 2 Cents wrote:

You need to be sure that there is no question as to the fact that this was unacceptable on her part and should never occur again.

This is the best advice.

For whatever reason, she is being a drama queen, which is totally unacceptable.

However, this is entirely HER issue, not yours, so don't let it affect you in the least. Go on about your daily activities and don't get involved in her emotional upheaval and games. Don't call her. If she is gone for another day, change the locks on the door. Unplug the phone and don't answer any phone calls. Let them go on an answer machine if you have one. Only do the calling yourself. If she comes home, don't answer the door. Let her find out she can't get in. I'm not saying to get rid of her but she is wrong and has to show you she realizes this and deserves to be with you again (very small chance of that presently).

I have never worn a ring and don't like them. I'm not married but if I was then I wouldn't wear one either, because I don't like wearing extraneous stuff and don't like metal touching my skin. I don't even use metal utensils for cooking or eating.

Your wife is a total nutjob whacko, has disregarded you and put the marriage in jeaprody. As 2 cents wrote, that is unacceptable. If she wants out then let her have what she's looking for, before she screws up the rest of both of your lives. Also, I'm presuming you to be in your younger years. This is not something you want to delay and have happen in your 50's or 60's.

Dude, your big mistake was letting her out the door in the first place.

You should have smacked her around a bit

Heres what to do: wrap her head in a scarf, get her to cook more and do all the laundry and iron your running shorts.

Bet her family still owes you for taking her; make sure she doesn't get away without your getting all your dowry.

You white guys kill me.

Avocados Number wrote:

I'm not entirely sure that I understand your comment, and this certainly isn't a subject about which I have any expertise or experience, but it sounds as though you're describing a set of values that places fidelity to a ring above fidelity to a spouse. That sounds very twisted to me. Is it typical for marital vows to include a promise never to take off the ring (except, apparently, when having extramarital sex)?

The seemingly contradictory actions were hers not mine I never asked. I just brought it up to show how much of a symbol of the vows it is to some folks.