inchworm wrote:
She's a sweetheart and lives in a one bedroom apartment with her parents and two sisters.
I must be missing something here. She works full time and yet shares a one bedroom apartment with four other people? Is she the only one with any income? Is her "full time" job only paying $15,000 a year?
Me thinks this is a wee bit trollish.
Is she a lemon? And how's the car?
Surprise her with a new Prius!
Problem solved, and she'll save on gas!!!!!
Not great at math wrote:
inchworm wrote:She's a sweetheart and lives in a one bedroom apartment with her parents and two sisters.
I must be missing something here. She works full time and yet shares a one bedroom apartment with four other people? Is she the only one with any income? Is her "full time" job only paying $15,000 a year?
Me thinks this is a wee bit trollish.
No I'm not a troll, but you've got the income part right.
She makes $8.60 per hour. Works maybe 35-40 hours a week.
I think what you should do is tell her your cupboard is bare, give her $50 and ask her to pick up some things for your kitchen. If she buys a bunch of random crap like GoGurt and Gushers, you know she's bad with money. If she gets the basics, she can be trusted.
Also, this thread would be more useful with pictures of the women involved and also your track PR's.
That is all.
inchworm wrote:
She is poor, and doesn’t have much. The car she currently has isn’t reliable enough for her to drive to come see me, so I drive my car to see her every day. If she got this car, it would ease the burden of me having to drive to see her all the time (20 miles each way).
I want to be generous and help her because others have been generous with me in the past. Kind of paying it forward you know?
I honestly don't think she's trying to take advantage of me. Maybe she is, but doesn't realize it. I really care a lot about her and want to help her out. She's a sweetheart and lives in a one bedroom apartment with her parents and two sisters.
Perhaps it was a bad idea to get involved with someone who is not on the same page as me economically. But hey, I like her and want to try and build something long-term here. This isnt' a fling for me.
1) 20 miles isn't that far to drive brother. If that's an issue for you, then I don't know what to tell you. I used to drive 5 hours every weekend to see my girlfriend now wife when we were dating. Where's your committment?
2) She shares a one-bedroom apartment with her parents and two sisters? Dude, this has to be a troll post.
3) Giving a person a credit card does not help one build credit. Building credit is over-rated anyway. You can buy things with cash, and even when it comes time to buy a house, you can find many lenders who won't care if you have a credit score or not -- they will look at your debts and how much money you make.
4) Personally I wouldn't give any girlfriend a dime until I was engaged to them, and even then, it would be small amounts if anything. Young people need to learn to pull their own weight, and helping a 20-year-old out with money is not the right idea. I was broke and driving a beater car at 20 years old too. Build character. Let her be poor, and let her figure out how to make it all work.
without reading anything in this thread besides the title, my answer is definitely NO, DON'T DO IT
Do you realize how many Judge Judy episodes involve gf/bf's who were loaned money?
you're a sucker. if you are getting freaky sex out of this then you are a genius.
Flagpole Willy wrote:
inchworm wrote:She is poor, and doesn’t have much. The car she currently has isn’t reliable enough for her to drive to come see me, so I drive my car to see her every day. If she got this car, it would ease the burden of me having to drive to see her all the time (20 miles each way).
I want to be generous and help her because others have been generous with me in the past. Kind of paying it forward you know?
I honestly don't think she's trying to take advantage of me. Maybe she is, but doesn't realize it. I really care a lot about her and want to help her out. She's a sweetheart and lives in a one bedroom apartment with her parents and two sisters.
Perhaps it was a bad idea to get involved with someone who is not on the same page as me economically. But hey, I like her and want to try and build something long-term here. This isnt' a fling for me.
1) 20 miles isn't that far to drive brother. If that's an issue for you, then I don't know what to tell you. I used to drive 5 hours every weekend to see my girlfriend now wife when we were dating. Where's your committment?
2) She shares a one-bedroom apartment with her parents and two sisters? Dude, this has to be a troll post.
3) Giving a person a credit card does not help one build credit. Building credit is over-rated anyway. You can buy things with cash, and even when it comes time to buy a house, you can find many lenders who won't care if you have a credit score or not -- they will look at your debts and how much money you make.
4) Personally I wouldn't give any girlfriend a dime until I was engaged to them, and even then, it would be small amounts if anything. Young people need to learn to pull their own weight, and helping a 20-year-old out with money is not the right idea. I was broke and driving a beater car at 20 years old too. Build character. Let her be poor, and let her figure out how to make it all work.
Thanks for your input Flagpole.
1. Well I am committed to her, and I do the drive and don't complain. I'm just saying that it would ease the burden on me if she had reliable transportation.
2. This really is her living situation. Her parents are Mexican (all legal) and this is how they live, honestly. It blew my mind too when I first saw it.
3. Ultimately I agree with you on the credit stuff. Her paying cash really isn't an option though as she doesn't have enough income to build savings quickly. She will take out a loan for the car with a downpayment, and use this to build credit too.
4. I agree with your sentiment here too, but I was given a car when I was her age. It made me very happy and I was very appreciative. That being said, I work my ass off, have a college degree, know the "value of a dollar" etc. Others were generous with me at that age and I want to be generous to someone back. Maybe my altruism is misplaced, but that's just how I feel.
Honky Lips wrote:
you're a sucker. if you are getting freaky sex out of this then you are a genius.
The sex is pretty damn good. Since you were wondering.
Right, but my question is, why not give her the $800 to put in her savings account THE DAY BEFORE she buys the car? Why do it 9 months in advance?
Regarding the credit card, cosigning on her behalf does nothing FOR HER credit rating. You can easily call the bank and verify this.
I admire your generosity. I'm not accusing her of being malicious, but she is awful eager to accept "charity" from a guy she just met a few months ago. That concerns me. My girlfriend had $14,000 in debt when we started dating. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES would she let me help out, even with the smallest bills. That said a lot to me about her character.
$8.60/hr? The best thing you can do for her is talk her into taking/help her find a decent job. The fact that she's in college doesn't mean that she has to work for pennies. I mean I'm a college student and I make $300+ on weekends alone. Good jobs are out there. Even if you don't have a degree and have to schedule around classes.
Offer to give her an interest free loan. Go to a lawyer and make her legally bound. If you end up married then theres nothing to worry about. If not you know that she will have to pay you the money back.
Tell her you've lost all your money, you have nothing. Ask her for a loan so you can get back on your feet. Then see if she'll sleep with you....have you lost your mind, helping her save for a car, sucka.
inchworm wrote:
The sex is pretty damn good. Since you were wondering.
Would this be happening at the one bedroom apartment with mom, dad and two sister roommates? That's way FREAKY!
inchworm wrote:
Honky Lips wrote:you're a sucker. if you are getting freaky sex out of this then you are a genius.
The sex is pretty damn good. Since you were wondering.
THAT SAYS IT ALL - a guy with no game.
You are also pretty naive - how do you know her and family are here legally.
Excuse me, what the hell is wrong with GoGurt and Gushers? If she comes home those tasty treats, he should propose instantly.
To the OP, give her the dinero. You make 80 g's and the sex is good. Keep it coming while yo can still get it. The memories will give you something to think about when you're old and bitter.
I do concur that photos would help finalize the decisionfor others.
What's especially troubling is that she ASKED you for money.
I fear that instead of seeing her as your equal, you're going to end up feeling that you have the right to instruct her on financial matters (she is using your money after all), and you're going to see her as someone who should be grateful and appreciative to you.
But you don't seem like you're going to listen to what everyone else can see clearly. People have given you multiple reasons why this a bad idea and you're hoping that ONE person will agree with you so you can feel justified and not like the idiot you are.
Pamela Andersons Left Nipple wrote:
inchworm wrote:The sex is pretty damn good. Since you were wondering.
Would this be happening at the one bedroom apartment with mom, dad and two sister roommates? That's way FREAKY!
No way man. I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.