Post-nuptual shut-off: The Valentine's Day Addendum

I guess every two weeks is an exaggeration on my part.

Probably once every month I get her a flower, I don't go buy 2 dozen roses every time.

I always listen to her, and I always make sure she knows she is beautiful.

I don't need to buy her love, she knows that.

I buy her things not to prove that I have money, but because each and every thing that I buy her is for a reason, whether it be a memory we shared or to brighten up her long day.

We both know who wears the pants in this relationship, and I don't mean that in a threatening way to her. She just knows that I am a man and that she is the woman.

We are both equals in the relationship and that is how it should be.

Rico Suave' wrote:

She told me that around 10:30 as I was mounting her. She is kind of a freak. You missed it I guess.

Oh you're so MANLY:

My husband is romantic all the time, not just Valentine's day. He sent me a lovely card with a beautiful verse that made me cry and we spent the weekend away (his surprise to me) in a nice hotel. Still no sex though. I am tearing my hair out but still giving him a few more months. My love life is wonderful, but my sex life sucks :-( Is it worth it I wonder? And all the time I am getting older. I don't want to be in this situation in my 30s.

Your husband is gay. Not trying to be mean... just stating facts. Let me say this plainly -- NO straight guy -- particularly one in his twenties for jiminy's sake -- goes out of his way to treat his wife right and then doesn't want it when SHE IS OFFERING on a consistent basis. Just doesn't happen.

1. Cash.

2. A line of credit.

Going to have to agree with this one. He's gay and just hasn't openly admitted it yet. Whatever you do, get to the bottom of it so you don't end up like a friend of mine whose husband (guy I know who has lost all contact with everyone he knew before) told her he was gay when she was 9 months pregnant with their first child. Fortunately she was and is super hot and smart and sweet, so she found another husband three years later.

hate to break it to you... wrote:

Your husband is gay. Not trying to be mean... just stating facts. Let me say this plainly -- NO straight guy -- particularly one in his twenties for jiminy's sake -- goes out of his way to treat his wife right and then doesn't want it when SHE IS OFFERING on a consistent basis. Just doesn't happen.

I prepared her favorite meal from scratch, Shrimp Scampi. Had it ready on the table when she got home from work. (Hell, I have dinner ready for her everynight so I guess this wasn't any big surprise) Put on some nice soft, music. Her favorite wine (she didn't drink any, not a good sign) and lit some candles. In the morning before work, I gave her a card and a necklace. After dinner, I cleaned up the dishes and loaded the dishwasher (again, I do this everynight so I guess it comes to be expected). Then I probably sat down and watched Everybody Loves Raymond...Think I did some laundry. Played on the internet and went to bed. Nothing was going to happen because #1: It was a work night #2: There was no alcohol consumed.

And yes, I received nothing. No card, no how you doing, no thanks, not a thing..... But hey, we have had sex four whole times this year already!!!

Yikes - I'd hate to get pregnant (on the one occasion we did it) only to find out he's gay. I don't understand how a gay man can be with, let alone marry a woman. I'll ask him again this weekend - but I don't want to wait too long to find out. This could be Letsrun's first "outing"!

Longtimer, I really don't understand why you are with your wife. What does she do that makes you stick around? Her treatment of you is emotional abuse.

sexlessrunningchica wrote:

My husband is romantic all the time, not just Valentine's day. He sent me a lovely card with a beautiful verse that made me cry and we spent the weekend away (his surprise to me) in a nice hotel. Still no sex though. I am tearing my hair out but still giving him a few more months. My love life is wonderful, but my sex life sucks :-( Is it worth it I wonder? And all the time I am getting older. I don't want to be in this situation in my 30s.

He might be gay, as other people are saying, but I find it a bit strange that he would be doing everything he's doing if that were the case. He might also be asexual, which would complicate things if he's interested in you romantically (as he seems to be) but doesn't want to have sex with you (or anyone.)

Either way, you two should talk, because sexual compatibility is an important part of any relationship, whether that means you both want no sex, or both want regular wild monkey sex, or whatever.

and your husband's treatment of you is sexual abuse (in this case no sex)

I agree withholding sex to punish/discipline your spouse can be abusive, but 6 years of marriage and having tried pretty much everything under the sun to fix the problem is not the same thing.

Many men stay with their frigid wives (and me in the reverse role) b/c in all other respects the relationship is great. Longtimer's situation just seems very different.

Do you try to initiate sex? What is his response? Hunny, maybe you need to break out "The Rabbit" and get down to it in plain view, maybe he'll get the message that you mean business- sex isn't something that you just "kinda like"!Put out or get out, chump!

JayCee - Two things are obvious.1. You aren't married.2. You aren't over 30 years old.Come back and let us know how it's going when you are.

JayCee wrote:

I guess every two weeks is an exaggeration on my part.

Probably once every month I get her a flower, I don't go buy 2 dozen roses every time.

I always listen to her, and I always make sure she knows she is beautiful.

I don't need to buy her love, she knows that.

I buy her things not to prove that I have money, but because each and every thing that I buy her is for a reason, whether it be a memory we shared or to brighten up her long day.

We both know who wears the pants in this relationship, and I don't mean that in a threatening way to her. She just knows that I am a man and that she is the woman.

We are both equals in the relationship and that is how it should be.

sexlessrunningchica, i think you and longtimer should toss each other a bone, if ya catch my drift.

and why won't your husband take out the one eyed trouser snake? are you a troll? not in the traditional Letsrun.com sense, but in the sense that you are very trollish in appearance. pictures?

we did NOTHING. V-day is just BS, if you loved her youd be doing all that nice stuff anyway. You shouldn't need a special, industry promoted day to make you remind her how much you love her.

4 times already this year and it's not even St Pat's day? YOU LUCKY DOG!!! right now I'm only up to the "promise" of sex - if I can ever find that 5 minute window between when the kids fall asleep and when the wife does. ain't as easy as it sounds - usually she's asleep BEFORE the kids are.

So, what did you guys all do for steak and b****** day (aka pi day)?

sexless running chica...get a gmail account and post a contact e-mail for yourself. You'll have dozens of offers to meet guys with good plumbing on here and I think at least a handful might be worthwhile mates, and of course a few would be horndogs / trolls or guys you don't have an interest in so you'll have to be selective.

Ok, seriously, if you refuse to put out and your significant other cheats on you, don't you think it's kind of deserved? Am I alone on this issue?