...I'm bored and killing time between classes...so sorry if I ramble...
‘Still Married and Happy’, sorry my post was a little confusing. I didn't mean that anyone should get married to uphold social structure. In fact I meant exactly the opposite. Many people get married for exactly that reason, more so in the past than nowadays. They often end up unhappy, questioning themselves as to what went wrong. Those individuals should never have married.
I’m not sure if I agree about the 'two type of bachelors’ comment. From my experience many guys are just confused, going for the casual hookups unaware of what they are really looking for. Lots of those guys really do want something long term and aspire to have something more than “I’ll give you a call”. They get the impression from others that going on the prowl are typical and normal for single guys. Many of those same guys eventually find their love (usually not one of the casual hookups) by chance...and then they change, realizing how unnecessary sleeping around was, others don’t care at all about their past behavior. I honestly don't think you could predict with great certainty the couples who will stay together and those who will fall apart based on the history of the male in that relationship (I know that’s not what you were saying). I have seen the most egotistical, self centered chauvinist guys, turn into great romantics and stay in healthy long term relationships. I have also witnessed some well mannered, polite and caring males turn into the biggest cheats out there.
I agree that most who play the field into their sixties are not as happy as those who are married. But the social structure is changing. Those who are in their 60’s and 70’s now had far greater pressure placed on them to marry (at least the males-I’m sure the feminist movement may have disrupted the expectations places on females). When the youth of today are 60-70 things might be a lot different.
On a side note, a profession of true love is difficult to interpret. Love is one of those words which connotations stretch into many areas of human emotion. Companionate love, passionate love, and desire love are all forms we are familiar with. Unfortunately, they are often very hard to distinguish and get a lot of relationships in trouble. The only advice I could give to another individual would be to wait until you are aware you have experienced as many forms of love as possible. Finally, when you feel you could not live without your partner, and they feel the same way you may want to look at marriage-even then there is no guarantee. If you don’t like someone’s personality, don’t marry them, core personality traits NEVER change.
To me a good test as to weather one really cares for another is the 'invisible hand'. To what extent do you do things for your partner that help their daily lives and that they will never know about? For example, you notice their car keys under a pillow, so you place them on the counter, you see they are getting low on their favorite food so you restock, you know they have to be up early so you prepare the coffee machine to run in the morning...its those little 'purely altruistic' behaviors that I believe can really affect things in a relationship. If you are both supporting one another without looking for a return you will get it. If she’s happy, she’s probably happy with the relationship which can only be good for you.
That’s my 2.6. Again, apologies for rambling…my last class finished early.