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mashed taters
RE: You might be a runner if.....
Ibuprofen is your recreational drug of choice.

You know the distance to and from work/the gym/the local taqueria down to the closest 100 yards.

Talking about the color of your piss comes as natural as talking about the weather.

Your room looks like Imelda Marcos' shoe closet.

You have no qualms about taking a Sharpee and writing all over a brand new pair of $80 shoes.

You have no qualms about throwing out those same shoes only a month after buying them.

You can bounce quarters off your stomach but you have no abs.

You get a haircut before a race but not before a big date.

Your feet look like you've spent 10 years in a Vietnamese POW camp.

You eat 5 squares a day and limit snacking to 5 times a day too.

You know how many grams of carbs there are in a banana.

You wash your shorts in the shower.

You look into the toilet before a big race to inspect the size of the log you just dropped.

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