At this point in my life (40+ with kids) I am what many on this board would consider a hobby jogger and I feel no shame in that.
My running times are nowhere near where they once were, but I am not fat and don't really care about trying to run fast at this point in my life.
Calm down, bro. I agree with you on many points, but don't set up a false dichotomy of either being a good husband & father OR a runner with goals. Having goals and race times to hit is a great motivator and is quite honestly what keeps me training. Training helps me stay healthy. Staying healthy makes me a better husband and father. I'm 42 and had a great HS, collegiate, and post-collegiate running career, too. Now I train to hit age-graded times and can keep my running balanced with my other responsibilities.
The OP is asking about alternatives to the marathon. He specifically says "With four young kids at home finding time for Marathon training is hard." Many of the suggestions are great ideas for him to stay motivated, training, and racing, while at the same time being a good husband and father. You don't need to accost posters with guilt for training and having goals. It sounds like you don't have any racing goals. That's fine that you "measure yourself by other goals." but that doesn't mean those of us who still enjoy competition are not fulfilling our primary responsibilities.