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Poster: doubtthevalidity
Subject: RE: Qualities of a running partner
Body:
perspective wrote:
[quote]doubtthevalidity wrote:
I had always used to run alone. In the early summer of last year a female acquaintance, who also ran alone, wanted to start running with me. I reluctantly agreed to try one run. That started 9 months of pure hell. After the first run she began texting me non stop about my next run, where, when, how fast, etc. I was happy running alone but she was afraid to run anywhere but around a local college and a route near her gym. She was particularly interested in trail running, which I primarily do. Our schedules didn't match up very well and she expected me to run at times that were inconvenient for me and at places that were inconvenient as well, so she could have someone to run with. She tried to constantly make me feel guilty about how trail running helped her feel free and she couldn't do it on her own. She complained if I didn't want to do the course she did, if I wore headphones, or if I didn't do the pace she wanted. I kept telling her it was her choice to run with me or not. She would go off on me, then apologize and beg for another shot. When I told her I no longer wanted to run with her, she still kept texting me because she said I was her only running friend, and after 3 times telling her no more texts, it appears it has not stopped.
Long story even longer, one of the main qualities in a running partner is to find someone with a similar personality. Never try to became running partners with a needy person. Try to run with someone who has similar goals. If you are competetive, find someone who is competetive. If you run for fun and don't race, don't find someone who cares a lot about racing. I have ran with a coworker a few times and our runs were always kinda spontaneous as far as when, distance and pace goes. He never complained about anything eventhough I was more experienced than he is. It can be enjoyable with the right person, but also very miserable with the wrong one.
Sounds like someone in need of a friend. Some of my best friendships have been formed through running. Spontanaety (sp?) is ideal for running but not always practical. I enjoy the accountability of my weekly run with my partners. I guess if one person always calls the shots then its not fun. Didn't she ever try to meet you halfway? Was every run drudgery? I've run sometimes with my partner when they are pissed off. Pisses me off to, but usually its only once in awhile & I get over it.[/quote]
Oh, she was most definately in need of a friend, but was always talking bad about herself and how everyone that was supposed to be her fried ignored her and didn't take time for her. She expects people to disappoint her, and she pushes until they do. Near every run was drudgery. I was inflexible because I didn't want to run with her yet she did her best to may me feel guilty if I didn't want to run with her, often getting confrontational. She knew the deal though...that I would rather run along but was trying to be nice so she would have other places to run that she otherwise wouldn't run on her own. Anyway, all that is off point. I guess I was trying to just say from the beginning that you need to find someone that doesn't solely rely on you to get their runs in.Hit the submit button below if you want us to review the post.
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