Where Your Dreams Become Reality
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Poster: Regret me not...
Subject: RE: What is the worst / most bizarre thing you've done while drunk?
Where to start...
*at a party at some girls' house, paid a friend $10 to piss in their shampoo bottles and handsoap. He did it.
*after we didn't make the team to go to NCAAs one year, me and another guy on the team decided to get real drunk. we drank a whole bunch of icehouse beers, then jagrmeister, then went out to some bars. at closing time, tried to walk out with a full pitcher of beer, but the bouncers stopped me. not wanting to waste the beer, i chugged the whole thing. stumbled home. woke up the next morning in my bed, with my big timberland boots on and boxer shorts, but no pants. found my nice khakis on the floor ripped up to the knees.
*got real drunk one night and met up with a girl who i wanted to bang. walked home with her, along the way i found a parking cone, and proceeded to wear it as a hat the rest of the way home - about a mile. banged the girl, then pissed in the bed. woke up with a real stiff neck from trying to support the giant cone on my head.
*was living off campus one year, and was really drunk then. i had a bike that i'd ride to school in the morning, then inevitably ditch it when it got trashed. one night i decided to take a "shortcut" through some woods to get home quicker. Woke up the next morning and got a ride to campus. Couldn't find me bike. When I walked home that day, I found my bike chained to a tree in the woods.
*another time I was real drunk and decided to take the shortcut again. It was real dark and overcast that night, so there was no light in the woods. I got turned around and couldn't find my way out. I woke up the next morning, covered in leaves and twigs, and walked the 50 yards to my house.
*got blackout drunk once playing NASCAR on the old playstation while drinking a handle of vodka mixed with ginger ale. tried to walk home, and along the way was walking the street as cars whizzed by me. I took exception to one guy honking his horn at me, so I walked to the side of the road, picked up some rocks, and started throwing them at the passing cars. I got to a stoplight and starting throwing rocks at a car parked there, and it turns out it was a cop. i got a ticket.
*banged way to many girls that I didn't know, many sans condom. including this 45 year old lady in a tiny town out west. tried anal on her.
*got really drunk while living at home with my parents. then drove to a bar to meet an old college buddy. got even more drunk, then drove home. woke up, bed pissed, with my mom's car parked on the front lawn. she had to drive me to catch a train to upstate new york so i could visit my brother in college. while there, i took him out drinking, and he got stopped by the police for drinking a 40 of OE in front of the campus newspaper offices. he was under 21, but they let him off for some reason. I made it up to him by buying him another 40. then i drove his car to pennsylvania to visit, and bang - rawdog of course, a girl that i had hooked up with a year earlier. she had to go to class that day, and i left without saying goodbye, never to talk to her again.
*while out with some buddies in NYC, met a random girl at a bar on valentine's day. she was older (late 30s) and told me that V-day was always real sad for her because he former husband died in an auto accident on v-day a year after they were married (she got married at age 19). she went on and on about how tough it was to be widowed before 20. i walked her home to the apartment she was staying at - a guy i think she was banging. he was out of town, so i wind up going in and banging her - no condom of course - in this guy's bed. worst part of the story is that they guy was some middle-aged road warrior. he had some picture of him next to the nightstand of him crossing the finish line at some local 5 miler, with his time on the clock. i remember banging this widow girl and thinking, "god, i'm a much better runner than this guy."
*last story for now, i've got tons more: my best friend's fiancee was visiting her dying father in my town. it's two months before the wedding. we met up for beers and my roommate kept hitting on her. we get her drunk, and he convinces her to start flashing her boobs in the bar. she does, and he's trying to lick her boobs, but i'm telling him that it's my buddy's fiancee, so he should knock it off. we're so trashed, she doesn't want to drive home, so we go back to my place. i put her in my bed and she starts babbling about how nice a guy i am...you guys can all see where this is going...so i wind up banging her. 5 times. including anal - her first time, and her suggestion. i didn't not attend the wedding, and have never told him. i've seen them a few times, and it's always a bit weird.
Like the above posters, no STDs, no DUIs, no arrests. Happy and successful.
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