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|Subject: ||RE: Wanjiru Arrested|
He is now officially qualified to be a professional American athlete.
Can some of the women on this board tell me why abused women stay with their abuser. Often, until they are beaten to death?
I'm not a woman, but I did take a class on domestic violence as part of getting my criminal justice degree. Women get stuck in these types of relationships, and continue to stay in them for many different reasons.
A lot of the time women stay in abusive relationships simply because they are too scared to leave. If Sammy Wanjiru had an AK-47 in the house and was threatening to kill her, would you leave? Heck no, that would scare the crap out of someone. Another reason that women stay in these relationships is because they have been emotionally abused to the point that they don't have the willpower or the strength to leave the abusive man. It's a nasty cycle. Imagine someone telling you that you aren't good enough, smart enough, and pretty enough every single day. That would break down your self-esteem to the point that you wouldn't think you are good enough to leave. Then you can add on the fact that he has threatened to kill you if you do leave and you're scared for your life.
The worst part of this whole situation is that Wanjiru's wife's family has convinced them to get back together. It takes the help and support of your friends and family to leave an abusive relationship. When you're family is doing the opposite, it makes it that much harder for a woman to leave. A lot of these relationships start out great and there is no signs of the relationship ever turning violent. But abusers are extremely deceptive and manipulative. In the beginning of the relationship he will shower you with gifts and compliments to make you think you are so special to him. This is when the trap begins. After you become married and have children and you are tied down with him is when he becomes abusive. He then blames the abuse on you, because you make him that way. The woman then thinks that it might be her fault because he was so great before. It then turns into a cycle of violence drifting between him apologizing and treating her great, then going back to being abusive and blaming it on her. Creating more confusion in her mind, breaking her down emotionally, and trapping her in the relationship. If you then add on the fact that her family is urging her to get back with him even after he has threatened her life, it is going to cement the fact that him being abusive is her fault, and that she shouldn't leave him. That is when women end up being killed by their abuser, because they don't have the support to leave the situation even after their have been many incidents that she was abused.
These situations are very serious and it happens a lot more than you would think. 1 in 4 women experience some sort of domestic abuse in their lifetime. The most shocking statistic, on average, 3 women die each day as a result of domestic abuse violence.
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