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....you keep a training log accurate within a tenth of a mile
....you need to know whether a course is USATF certified
....you think there needs to be a fourth movie made about the life of Steve Prefontaine
....you think nothing of running to your local track in the middle of the night, and running an all-out 400m with a full tuxedo on and dress shoes, after your prom (me and my 2 teammates, all three of us sub 70)
....you can easily recognize the difference between gatorade and powerade
....you don't DO off days
....your favorite song is Born to Run (Springsteen), Run Like Hell (Pink Floyd), or Running with The Devil (Van Halen)
You have tried all 134 flavors of gatorade and you know which one makes the best vodka cocktail.
You know how painful salt in your buttcrack can be.
You know where everp public bathroom and every drinking fountain is within a 30 mile radius of your house.
You know why they call quads quads because you can count them.
You know the names of wayyy too many muscles.
You don't remember birthdays, anniversaries, appointments etc but you'll never forget the name of the guy who outkicked you at that xc race last year.
Your nipples have permanent scabs.
You can drink 80ozs of water and not go to the bathroom for 6 hours.
You talk alot about the bathroom or the lack of bathrooms as the case may be.
You can see H2C and not automatically think chemistry.
You know one line of every song ever written and you have sung it on a long run over and over at one point or another.
You are familiar with the unmistakable odor of vomit on rubberised track.
...when a non-runner asks you if you "jog" you have to fight the urge to punch them in the face
...you write your senior paper on Lydiard's training theory
...the mention of aqua joggin causes you to develop a temporary facial tic
...you've used moss
...your carry-on is a spike bag
...you've run at least four miles or done strides in an airport terminal or parking lot (extra credit if you've done abs and stretched too)
Your video collection is of Past Track Meets in stead of all the new releases from Blockbuster.
The favorites for your computer contain all running sites.
Your wall of your room is covered with running pictures from magazines instead of Bikini Models.
Your wardrobe is made up of all the T-shirts from the Races you have participated in.
Your email address contains something to do with running.
All your photo albums contain you running.
Your voice mail say, "Sorry I am not in right now, I am aout on a run."
You shave your whole body before a track meet because you think that it will make you run faster.
You dont own any pairs of socks.
You sleep in your track shoes the day before the race to get you pumped up.
All you talk about to friends is track meets you have ran in.
All of your bathroom reading material is of old track magizines.
You have to go to the running store everyday just to see the new things that they have.
You wish that there were more running moves out there.
You only read the sports page in the Newspapper to see if there is anything in it about running.
The soccer team is begging you to try our for the team.
Your significant other is frisky for some headboard banging but you refuse, saying you have to get up early for your long run.
I've never done that, but I've heard of it happening. Really. I promise.
That is way cool. I wish I had thought of that when I was younger.
Thanks, I had copied them to a text file in 1996 or 7 and then forgot where I got them, but now that you mention it you're right. I do take credit for making up the last 4 though.
Your nipples have ever bled
Chafing is a serious medical condition
Your non-running friends won't even ride their bike while you run anymore
Your dog hides when you get the leash
You've ever pooped in someone's front yard with cars approaching because you can't make it another step (This happened to me last night)
You trip over a 2x4, know you've sliced your toe open and it's oozing blood but you refuse to take your shoe off and look at it because you're only 2 mi into a 6 mi recover run (also last night)
- People are congratulating you at work the Monday after you ran a 3:07 marathon and you get angry because you know you should have run faster.
- You buy all of your shirts for work in dark colors so the printing from your race T-shirts that you wear underneath does not show through.
- You take ice from the work cafeteria and try to ice your shins or achilles while you're at your desk.
-you know something is wrong with your body if you don't take at least two dumps every day.
-nobody in your group thinks twice about ripping off a few farts during the morning run
-you get asked by strangers why you are "running with extra shoes" when you are carrying your flats to a workout
-you don't think adding onto a run for two minutes is a ridiculous idea
-the first question anybody asks you once they find out you are a runner is "have you ever run the marathon?" even if you explain that you are a miler or 5k runner - then they immediately lose interest in the conversation.
-you have shoe boxes in your room from every pair of trainers and spikes you have ever owned
-you have read and reread Once a Runner and almost every other running book out there
1) Pissing blood doesn't particularly alarm you.
2) Every cold day you still the same old (insert school) Cross Country sweat shirt.
3) You could care less about politics, but wish Jim Ryun would run for president one of these days.
4) You have all the answers as to how Alan Webb should proceed with his career.
5) Your girl makes you wear socks to bed because of your toes.
6) Your girl complains every day about how you never cuddle in bed in the morning.
7) You think people who wear those water packs/belts are pussies.
8) You have no doubt, regardless of your ability, that someday you will run under 2:22.