Stomach get queasy when you run? Try these 8 things to minimize the risk:

2. Ingest multiple types of carbohydrates during the race (which use different transporters), such as glucose and fructose, instead of more of the same amount of a single carbohydrate such as glucose.

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Uh-oh...

Oh man, I remember the last rcjason list of training tips.... classic stuff.

looking forward to this.

some running mags or blogs recommend that runners should be sure to take plenty of fiber or even a laxitive to ensure they have regular bowl movements throughout the day, making sure you will not have an unexpected "issue" when it comes time to run.

I recommend the opposite. About 30 minutes before your run eat a half pound block of cheese. This will bind up your intestinal tract and keep you from pooping yourself for the run, or for the next 3 days.

old people are smart, copy them and always wear an adult diaper (Depends is a good brand) under your tights, then put a pair of running shorts on over the tights. Wallla! you are now safe if you have an accident!

#3--Natural foods are your friend. Consume real foods like offal and rocky mountain oysters during long runs and races. Gels and bars are filled with artificial ingredients and preservatives the wreak havoc on the gastrointestinal system and can lead to pooping your split shorts.

while b utt plugs have been popular in s&m and gay communites for years, their practical application for runners is self evident. Insert the plug and have the race of your life! No gas, no poop!

if you are constantly s hitting yourself and having any manner of discharge from your anus it could be you have a food allergy, or dysentery. a check up from your doctor can confirm which one it is.

rcjason wrote:

I recommend the opposite. About 30 minutes before your run eat a half pound block of cheese. This will bind up your intestinal tract and keep you from pooping yourself for the run, or for the next 3 days.

Directions unclear: ate a block of cheddar and sharted myself 20 minutes into my run.

Side note: am lactose intolerant

while it is something that is hard to give up, at times running is about sacrifice if you want to race well. that means you should not receive your anal fisting routine from your lover for at least 24 hours before race day.

avoid your stomach and intestinal tract altogether and hire a nurse to feed you intravenously.

5. Stomach still queasy after avoiding high-fiber foods? Simply avoid all foods and drinks. This solution is absolutely guaranteed and RC Jason Certified to help, but you need to give it at least six days to kick in. So if your race is on a Saturday, make sure to not eat or drink anything at all starting at midnight the prior Sunday, until after you cross that finish line in a state of pure victorious bliss. It might be a bit tough at first but persevere and you'll totally nail a 4-hour 'thon PR.

6. Many stomach upset problems are due to friction. To fix this issue, we need to apply internal lubricant. This can be done either by eating at least half a tube of KY (experiment during your training runs to find the right amount) or by inserting the red tube that comes with every bottle of WD-40 directly into the colon and applying a generous coating. You'll be ready to move in no time!

rcjason wrote:

old people are smart, copy them and always wear an adult diaper (Depends is a good brand) under your tights, then put a pair of running shorts on over the tights. Wallla! you are now safe if you have an accident!

Only thick, redneck Americans say “walla” when the correct word is “voila”

3. Avoid aspirin and NSAIDs such as ibuprofen.

....Stay tuned for more tips!

Walla wrote:

rcjason wrote:

old people are smart, copy them and always wear an adult diaper (Depends is a good brand) under your tights, then put a pair of running shorts on over the tights. Wallla! you are now safe if you have an accident!

Only thick, redneck Americans say “walla” when the correct word is “voila”

So, you read that post and thought that guy didn't spell walla incorrectly on purpose??

4. Estrogen shifts metabolism to a greater reliance on fat and less on carbohydrate when running at the same pace as a man. The longer the race, the more important this shift in metabolism becomes, since the conservation of carbohydrate is very important given that we have only a limited store of it. The faster the pace you can run while still using mostly fat, the better long-distance runner you will be. Most women, therefore, get better the longer the race. The performance difference between men and women is much smaller for ultramarathons than it is for races shorter than a marathon because the longer the race, fuel use starts to outweigh the importance of cardiac performance and oxygen transport in the blood, characteristics that favor men. Because of women’s estrogen-induced predisposition toward endurance, women should embrace aerobic training and run a lot to maximize their running performance. (Get my book, Running for Women, for a lot more detail, including how to train around the menstrual cycle, pregnancy, and menopause.)

....Stay tuned for more tips!

5. For the ladies: On the subject of "tips," did you know that semen is a proven stomach acid coagulant? It's true! And my semen in particular has been scientifically proven to be extra strong in this regard, especially when administered straight from the source. I am happy to provide this as a service for women who feel queasy when they run. Please send pics to apply.

....Stay tuned for more tips!