"Control is controlled by the need to control"
(William Burroughs)
"You need to have a plan. If you don't have a plan, you become part of someone else's plan."
(Terence McKenna)
"Control is controlled by the need to control"
(William Burroughs)
"You need to have a plan. If you don't have a plan, you become part of someone else's plan."
(Terence McKenna)
Well the OP hasn't replied, so it's either.
1, They broke up
2, They made up
3, He's in no man's land
Either way he's maybe feeling too emotional to reply?
What she's really telling you is that she wants you to get a freaking job and quit pretending that you're going to be a world class runner. Runner make no money, anyway.
Believe it or not my former girlfriend said I was obsessed with running. At the time we were dating I was
running 10 miles per week! (Strangely she was a former basketball and softball player at the college level.
She was going for a Masters Degree in physical therapy!!!)
People say a lot of dumb stuff. I would ask more questions. If you want to wear the pants in your relationship
or be an equal you need to keep running. Only an idiot would not want their partner to exercise.
get a job bruh wrote:
What she's really telling you is that she wants you to get a freaking job and quit pretending that you're going to be a world class runner. Runner make no money, anyway.
I know some guys with full time jobs who run 100+ MPW and still get 8-9 hours of sleep. The trick is cutting out everything else - no TV shows, no other hobbies, and no outings with friends.
I do!
I was converting from being a pure 800m runner to 1500m my last year of college, and saw a major breakthrough after college. I broke 4 minutes, ran 1:47 off of uneven pacing (2 second PR) and was starting to get attention. I also started dating my then girlfriend about 6 months before that. I ended up getting banged up playing some ultimate frisbee, and took a couple weeks off of running to end my season.
When I went to start training again, I wasn't in to it anymore the way I was before. My relationship with her was really taking off. I wanted to pour my time into that instead. And I did. I stopped running competitively and haven't run a race in 4 years. We are happily married with a kid, and I would 100% make that choice again. Between my work schedule and training, had I not made that choice we would either not be together today or be where we are at today in our relationship.
Can you tell us a little more about your schedule? Like, give us an example of a typical weekday and a typical weekend.
I’m assuming your girlfriend works during the day and you are by yourself?
What do you do for income?
What are you doing when you’re not running/strengthening/eating/resting? Are you writing workouts and scouring Strava all day? (that’s definitely not healthy or good for your running)
I completely understand that you don’t want to go out at night to save your legs and get ready for a weekend long run/recover from a weekend long run…but there’s only so much running you can do in a day.
I mean, maybe you are way too obsessed with running if you have all day to train and recover and yet you are unable to put aside time for the relationship. Sounds like it isn’t much of one anyway.
Give us some more info.
Be completely honest with your hour-by-hour break-down.
PooPooGarbo wrote:
She has distanced herself emotionally from me and cut off sex. When I ask her why she says I care about running more than her. And has given me an ultimatum, either choose running or choose her. She is giving me 1 week to decide.
Anyone who is that controlling needs to be dumped ASAP. Today, it's your running that she wants you to give up. Tomorrow, it'll be your other hobbies. The next day, it'll be your friends. After that, it'll be your posessions.
Stay strong, my friend. Never give up, never give in, and never surrender.
if she is making you choose between her and your life passion and near career it shows that she doesn't love you enough to be as invested in your success as you are. This just reflects poorly on her. Make her choose to either break up with you or support your aspirations.
Challenge her to a mile race. If she gets lapped, you kick her out. If she doesn't get lapped, she kicks you out. Either way, you win.
good luck, playa wrote:
If you're even considering both options, I think you have your answer. I would give up anything for my wife, but on the other hand she would never give me an ultimatum like that.
I wish you the best of luck and hope you make it to Tokyo in 2020 - be sure to bump this thread as you continue to improve.
This. I suck as a runner but my wife knows how important it is to me and would never come up with some ultimatum like this. I don't know you or your GF but I feel sure I'd let her go find someone more suitable. Sorry to both you and her for your lost investment.
See below: rationalization for giving up hopes and dreams for a little stability and succumbing to fear. Society says I should be happy here, so I guess I am! Think it through for yourself; don't take moralistic advice like this.
Why would you break up with German Fernandez?
track chick wrote:
the best piece of advice I can give you is to make your own decision, don't let anything you read here influence you.
People are replaceable. Glory lasts forever. Follow your dreams.
PooPooGarbo wrote:
I have a gf that I have dated for 2 years and things have gone well. However, I am a semi-pro runner who has aspirations to be able to go pro one day and support myself through running. Throughout the 2 years of us dating everything has been great, lots of fun dates, laughter, and sex. However, over the last 6 months, I have ramped up my training and have become obsessed with running. She has distanced herself emotionally from me and cut off sex. When I ask her why she says I care about running more than her. And has given me an ultimatum, either choose running or choose her. She is giving me 1 week to decide.
I know this is kinda vague info, but does anyone have any advice or experience with this type of situation?
Pathetic effort. -100/10
You can not control her, you can control your running.
You could leave running for her, and she could still leave you anyway.
There are lots of other fish in the sea, and you can still get a lot out of running as a semi pro, decent runner or hobby jogger.
I believe she is the one that has to make the choice, not you.
Just tell her you will continue to run and continue to care about her.
Don't let her spin this to place the blame on you.
For now she is saying "running or me". In the future it might be "your job or me", "your family or me", "your money or me", "your life or me".
As a lady of letsrun, I say dump her. What sort of girl would give an ultimatum like this!!
At least you have a hobby and are good at it, unlike couples that simply just go to work, go to the gym and socialize. What a boring life that would be.
Regardless, she sounds like a controlling a-hole. I’m sorry you ended up with a girl like this. This is why it’s important to considering things beyond looks in a girl. Yes she might be good looking, but that only lasts so long.
I bet she’s not actually good at anything that requires hard work, apart from perhaps having a decent social life, which in itself, is not that special.
I didn't succumb to fear. I had a healthy dose of reality, especially since I only broke 5 minutes for 1600 in high school about 12 times. I had already achieved more goals than I thought would be possible. And you're correct: it is moral advice and it has stood the test of time. Don't be fooled by what the media portrays fathers to be. Being a committed husband and father is the hardest and most rewarding thing a man can do. I remodeled my house by myself, and earned more money than most "professional" runners while I was a college xc coach, 2 years after I quit racing. I'm away from college xc/ track now and work a real job. At some point, one has to grow up. Or get a tech job in San Jose and live out of a converted mini van, and "chase the dream" by yourself. But once that race is over, it'll be a lonely existence. For the record, I have 2 friends that left the MLB early for similar reasons around 2008. They made more money in 1 year than a "pro" runner will make in a career. One is now a Sheriff, and the other owns a local business. They're happily married with 3+ kids and are thankful that they changed their goals.
Yeah, it sounds like he has the option of the worst of both worlds. According to the title he could break up with his girlfriend and quit running, so ya I vote for that one.