sshlshfjhdlj wrote:
Did some horrendous stuff happen to him and now he's broken?
It sounds sad.
I'm assuming your response was in regards to my post.
Nothing that we (parents/family) know of or have heard of as far as traumatic experiences. He has kind of always been a "fan" of the alcohol, even since high school days. He's always been kind of a resentful guy who feels either like the world isn't fair and/or he is owed something because others have it. For example, when I was in college 20 years ago, I worked and saved enough to buy a decent laptop computer. His comment to my father at one point was "it's not fair that he has a laptop and I don't". My dad just looked at him and went "how is it not fair? He wanted one so he worked and saved enough to buy one."
He blames PTSD from his one deployment to Afghanistan while in the Marines (he was non combat in like maintenance)..which I would believe if he wasn't already a slug before he joined.
Its like no matter who talks to him, he says all the right things, what you want to hear, but then goes right back to being a slug, drinking and unmotivated. To be honest, I'm not sure I have ever met a more un-motivated person in my life. He has no other interests other than watching sports and drinking (alone). No friends (You'd have to leave the house for that). Can't keep a job longer than it takes him to get a paycheck or two, which allows him to have enough money to buy his beer for a while. Then rinse repeat.
There HAS to be some mental issues there but he won't be honest if he ever did visit someone who could help (see above). Like wouldn't you want to be a productive member of society, if not just to provide things for your son? As I said, it's probably been 7 years since he has seen him, barely acknowledges his existence and is (assumed) deeply in arrears on child support.
Like I said, my parents do enable him, but what else can they do other than kick him out (and they won't do this). He has no money, no friends, no place to go, no car, no real hope. They just kind of "put up with it" and almost take a "well if we don't see him and don't hear him the problem doesn't exist or we don't have to address it" mentality.
Anyways, post over. Thanks for letting me vent/explain for a bit.