100 personalized messages sent on POF, not one response

Please state your age, location, and job

Age: 53

Location: Los Angeles

Job: Data Management (I changed this to "Web Development")

Searching all women 34-58.

POF women are looking for prince charming. Try OKC, Tinder, Bumble if you're looking for hookups. Or Match if you want to find someone to marry.

If you lived in Tulsa, I would take you to Starbucks and talk about Bekele until you decide to be my wife

Try less attractive women...you’re obviously not in the right zone here.

He is obviously correct since those messages were sent to his matches

OP maybe your messages didn't go through try resending your messages

If you name yourself "generic guy" on LetsRun, then in real life, do you view yourself as a "generic guy" too?

I went out with 14 different girls in a span of 2 years. 13 of those I met online or on Tinder.

But the one that mattered the most? The one that makes me forget about everyone else? I met her while I was running. Well, this was in class and in college. But I was a senior and she was a freshman. Anyways, it was because she saw me running previously that made me not a stranger to her. It was that determined look that I gave off that made her willing to go out with me.

Anyways, that date with her and those memories trumps all of those people I met online. What I learned is... to not date chicks with BPD.

You can have fake hobbies to meet people. That to me sounds better because you're finding people with similar interests and when you meet each other, it isn't fake like an algorithm on OKC or POF.

Don't forget, 80% of women are only interested in the top 20% of men. They don't see you as being in that top group.

Zero out of 100 is really bad for any site. You are doing something wrong. How many of those 100 messages were sent to women within five years of your age? Ten years?

Don't forget, the number one rule of online dating is: Look Good. You are in LA, so you should have plenty of resources to get a picture of yourself looking your best.

Just a generic guy here wrote:

Reached a landmark just now, 100 messages sent to "My Matches" on POF, including 20 to "Will Respond," each with info touching on what they've said, and a question.

And not one response.

Are you ugly though?

No. No hair left, but cut the remaining off. About 6-3, 175, lift and run a lot. Look about 40. I don't have any photos of me in front of the Pharoah or anything, but also none of me shirtless in front of a bathroom mirror. Photos in shirt/tie, photo standing around in running gear after a race, photo of me posing with soft background, about what you'd expect. Over 80 percent of my messages were to women no more than 5 years younger than me, or 8 years older than me.

Of the 100 messages, I had about 45 women apparently "View" me. But not a single one answered me back.

Typical message might be:

That's a nice trail you're on, that reminds me a lot of trail XYZ that I know quite well. Do you hike often?

You're not doing anything wrong other than writing to women who find you physically unattractive. (And that's not your fault, as you'd have no way of knowing that in advance.)

Unfortunately, it's all about the photos, just as IRL it's all about appearance. It doesn't matter how "personalized" or "well-crafted" your messages are, if the women receiving them look at your photos and think "Blech."

On the other hand, if Bradley Cooper or Ryan Gosling had profiles on POF, they could write that their favorite hobbies are genocide and cannibalism, and they'd still be inundated with responses.

NPR had a piece on this this morning. I would argue the title is misleading since intimacy and sex are not the same thing. You can have one without the other and having sex does not mean you are really intimate with that person except in a very limited definition.

https://www.npr.org/2018/11/14/667699241/young-americans-are-retreating-from-intimacy

One of the points in the article in The Atlantic is that on dating sites guys aim for girls who are far more attractive than they are (and girls do the same). We all think we have a chance with the hottie when in reality few of us do. (Although that raises the question of "If you are so hot, what the hell are you doing on a dating site"?).

I have more experience on those sites than I care to list. The article link I posted rang so true.

The dating sites can lead to far more anxiety and negative feelings. At the end of the interview the writer and interviewer talk about meeting their spouses in a bar and in an elevator. It is far more organic and natural that way. You also get so many immediate clues about the person when meeting in person. Online is incredibly superficial. How many read the profile before looking at the photos? I do not although I do not consider myself superficial and have never dated a truly hot woman, at least a woman that is going to have every guy's head turn when she walks in a room, but I still look. That is true in person as well although sometimes you strike up a conversation with the "girl next door" (more my type anyway--- of course maybe that is just something I say to myself since I know I cannot get the 10) and as you talk with her she "grows on you" and becomes more attractive. The sparkle in her eye. The way she smiles (or rolls her eyes) at your jokes.

Online gets none of that.

One of my best friends is female (we met through an online dating site) and would share our stories. I was shocked at some of the messages she received. Some were just "hey". Others were pretty tacky if not raunchy ("That dress looks good on you and would look great on the floor next to my bed"--seriously she got one pretty much like that). Some women get overwhelmed because if they are remotely attractive every guy on the site sends them messages.

I did POF for a bit. It was free so what the heck and it was a huge waste of time. Spring for the paid sites and be realistic or at least accept that you are going to get far fewer responses than you think you should get.

I think you're correct.

I made a dummy POF account last night, and included photos of a woman I found buried hundred of pages down on Bing. She was the same 'grade' as those I've been messaging.

I received hundreds of messages since, and there's only ONE guy who I'd call not offensive, and he called me out on the fake post! I got photos of shirtless guys, photos of guys flashing gang signs, questions about whether I'd be open to a "Sugar Daddy situation," requests for bee-jay, all that. So yeah, everyone aims high, but what about ME being the normal guy? I find it amazing that this place is so gridlocked.

6'3" 175 does not leave much room for muscle, but being skinning isn't a bad thing at 53 considering most of the competition is overweight. It sounds like you are doing a lot of things right which makes it even more surprising that you didn't get a single response.

Make sure you take the time to look at all the details of your profile. I had one guy who used an old picture where he was wearing a wedding ring. We got rid of that and the hits started rolling in. For another guy it was as simple as fixing a grammar mistake. Chicks hate it when you use "your" instead of "you're".

Don't write too much in your profile. Save the details for texting.

In your shirt and tie picture, make sure your head is freshly shaved. Try adding one picture wearing a baseball cap so they can see what you look like not bald and one picture with another guy or group of friends so they can see you are less likely to be a stalker.

Lastly, try going after some women you don't find attractive. That will give you a better sense of whether your standards are too high or there is something wrong with your profile. You might even end up talking to a chick who can point out ways to improve your profile.

Good luck!

Can we all just admit the dude is ugly?

Similar experience here, but I'm actually pretty ugly. I have a better success rate just picking up ugly chicks in bars.

Your not using the right responses.

People access cues through memories, for example:

"Can you think of the ugliest part of your body?"

"Does your mother have green eyes and a wart on her forehead?"

"Have you ever been banned by wejo for making disparaging comments

about munchkin like runners from the north part of Austrailia, whose

hands match an erotic part of your body?"

"What is your mile time?"

"Can you juice an orange?"

"Have your ever got stoned and walked into a bar and thought

people were talking about you yet you ordered a Chateaux Margauax

to impress the imps around you?"

Things like, dear man. Please don't have pity, have faith that you haven't

been latched onto by a pony-tailed female marathoner with a fetish

for hairy fingers.

Good luck:)