Our first date. Typical dinner and movie. I paid for dinner, she paid for the movie. I suggested drinks after the movie but she wasn’t feeling well. She said she had a nice time and we should get together again.
So is it a one and done or is there chance for another date?
Saturday Knight wrote:
Our first date. Typical dinner and movie. I paid for dinner, she paid for the movie. I suggested drinks after the movie but she wasn’t feeling well. She said she had a nice time and we should get together again.
So is it a one and done or is there chance for another date?
You're sunk. She wasn't feeling well and probably used that as an excuse because she wasn't interested in you. ?
Yea, best thing you can do is step away. Girls are surrounded by a crowd of guys (think hundreds of matches versus of dozens for guys). I would recommend messaging that you had a good time and would be down for another time. Don't message after that - if she is interested she'll message you. Don't waste your time chasing after a tinder girl who is going to waste your time.
Agree with above poster. Tell her you’re interested and leave it up to her.
I got unmatched but a girl after hooking up on bumble, we even chatted for 2 months before meeting. Now that’s baffling. I still have her number but I don’t know if I should message after she unmatched me!
Saturday Knight wrote:
Our first date. Typical dinner and movie. I paid for dinner, she paid for the movie. I suggested drinks after the movie but she wasn’t feeling well. She said she had a nice time and we should get together again.
So is it a one and done or is there chance for another date?
It depends on what her true mindset is. A lot of women will say you're nice and say they're down for another date, but a lot won't follow through. 1) they don't want to hurt your feelings by saying they're not interested 2) they're unsure whether there is a connection and just don't want to bother with another time consuming and potentially awkward date. Not being down for drinks after was not a good sign, but there's hope with her saying to get together again. I suggest arranging it ASAP or else she"ll become disconnected and flake. And that way you can move on rather than being left hanging. Anything past a first date indicates that she either is interested in being your friend or your girlfriend.
She stuck around long enough to pay for the movie .. She could have played sick after you picked up the dinner check.
Be sure to follow up asking about her health after she is settled in at home.
Trite but true 'call if you need anything' & ls call in AM so I know you are feeling better.
fixed
please call me
the time line of sickness wrote:
She stuck around long enough to pay for the movie .. She could have played sick after you picked up the dinner check.
I have thought similarly in the past. I bought the first drink and then she bought the second. Why suggest a second drink if she wasn't interested? On reflection she wanted to have a second drink with me and pay for it for the same reason others will just avoid saying: "I don't want to go out with you again."
the time line of sickness wrote:
She stuck around long enough to pay for the movie .. She could have played sick after you picked up the dinner check.
I think we need to know what the movie was in order to make a proper judgement call on her intentions here. Maybe she was just desperate to see the film.
Confused guy wrote:
Agree with above poster. Tell her you’re interested and leave it up to her.
I got unmatched but a girl after hooking up on bumble, we even chatted for 2 months before meeting. Now that’s baffling. I still have her number but I don’t know if I should message after she unmatched me!
Gentlemen, never, Never, NEVER pay for another date again. No dinner plans, ever.
Coffee, tea, Starbucks, arrive 30mins early and get and pay for your drink, let her get her own.
Why? You can't imagine this, but women, many women, love that they can get guys to pay for their latte, their meal, their movies. One woman I'd been talking with for two weeks, spontaneously confessed that the story she told me about a guy trying to rape her, was a lie, that she had been using men to pay for her movies and meals, because she was divorced and broke.
Not so unussual? She was a Doctor. She flooded out this whole story, then confessed she shouldn't be leading men on and letting them pay for her, it was dangerous. Then -- and this was freaky, she said "now that I've blurted that out and you know my dishonest, I'll have to hang up and block you now. And she did.
But not before I knew her full name and had her Linked in page.
That's just the worst example. Any woman that expects you to pay on a first meeting date - is not a mature or kind candidate. If a woman gets stinky because you don't offer to pay...well fate is saving you some time there.
I tell women now, that due to too many bad experiences, I only go "dutch" now.
As bad as you all hear that men are "dogs and pigs and only want one thing," there are just as many selfish, childhish, wounded, sick women out there.
Every classed modern woman I've gone out with has alway proactively insisted on paying her share. That called class and maturity. Most say they won't have sex before date 3-6, I tell them I don't pay for dates until after we are intimate. Lose a few, but I figure just the immature and unhealthy ones! I also have it my dating profiles I don't date women with herpes and am std free. That pisses some women off, lol. I can tell, because it's the ones who cancel the day before...they've reread my profile further down and caught that detail.
Had a great date tonight. 3 more lined up. All classy. One canceled for tomorrow in a pissy way. Figured she's herpetic. Not my fault. One even wrote me a nasty gram after reading my profile and said she should have to explain to an "adult man" that a partner could monitor their body and manage to not transmit herpes to someone. Which, totally isn't true, and that myth can be dispelled with 3 minutes of reading on the web. And young gents, a condom will not protect you from herpes or genital warts.
The best advice I can give you boys, is slow things down. When you go slowing, the cream rises, the high quality, together one's stick around. The needy and the speedy are dangerous (so many times I ask them if they are herpes free...and the answer is "no." They were never going to tell the next dude they slept with they had herpes. Humans can be so dishonest.
I only sleep with women I've dated for at least a month, and who has "fresh tests," I always keep my latest (tested after each new partner / relationship end) tests in my carrier bag.
Go slow, be smart, have fun, wait for high quality people.
Good luck out there!
NEVER go to a movie on a first date. Sitting quietly in the dark is not something you do when you get to know someone.
Date 1; Meet and greet......just coffee or a drink. That is enough to know if there is chemistry. If there is you can ask if they'd like to stay for dinner, or plan the next date. That way if you are paying, you haven't invested too much. That way if it is just so-so, you aren't stuck for an hour plus at dinner.
Date 2 is dinner...….more time talking and hopefully laughing. Should end with a kiss.
Date 3 should be some adventure, kayaking, a bike ride......something that also includes a meal and drinks...….after an extended time together, this could end with intimacy.
Even Date #4 shouldn't be a movie. That is for when you are exclusive and dating someone steadily and looking for just quiet time together.
If you are not planning your second date on your first date you will not be having a second date.
If a guy took me to dinner and a movie on the first date, I would be "not feeling well" and go home as well. That is one of the standard excuses women use when they are not interested and want to go home.
Is she Ukrainian?
bet it really sucks to be you
First Tinder Dates should be drinks only! No meal (too expensive + eating is awkward), no movie (no time to talk).
Who cares? If you did your best and was true to yourself, and she STILL didn't like you, then it wasn't meant to be. God has a plan for you. The right girl will show up when you are ready. All you can do is be the best version of yourself. Hope that helps!
Does she have a raccoon?
........................................... wrote:
NEVER go to a movie on a first date. Sitting quietly in the dark is not something you do when you get to know someone.
Date 1; Meet and greet......just coffee or a drink. That is enough to know if there is chemistry. If there is you can ask if they'd like to stay for dinner, or plan the next date. That way if you are paying, you haven't invested too much. That way if it is just so-so, you aren't stuck for an hour plus at dinner.
Date 2 is dinner...….more time talking and hopefully laughing. Should end with a kiss.
Date 3 should be some adventure, kayaking, a bike ride......something that also includes a meal and drinks...….after an extended time together, this could end with intimacy.
.
Right answer for a patient guy.
Women like a guy to take charge and have mostly decided they will sleep with you by date 2. Remember that American women like casual sex as much as men. They have to deal with stupid virgin/whore mores that make it much harder for them. Be a good guy and protect your hookups by being keeping your activities confidential and being respectful without getting into the friend zone. As always, be safe and be clear about consent.
Dutch x10 wrote:
Confused guy wrote:
Agree with above poster. Tell her you’re interested and leave it up to her.
I got unmatched but a girl after hooking up on bumble, we even chatted for 2 months before meeting. Now that’s baffling. I still have her number but I don’t know if I should message after she unmatched me!
Gentlemen, never, Never, NEVER pay for another date again. No dinner plans, ever.
Coffee, tea, Starbucks, arrive 30mins early and get and pay for your drink, let her get her own.
Why? You can't imagine this, but women, many women, love that they can get guys to pay for their latte, their meal, their movies. One woman I'd been talking with for two weeks, spontaneously confessed that the story she told me about a guy trying to rape her, was a lie, that she had been using men to pay for her movies and meals, because she was divorced and broke.
Not so unussual? She was a Doctor. She flooded out this whole story, then confessed she shouldn't be leading men on and letting them pay for her, it was dangerous. Then -- and this was freaky, she said "now that I've blurted that out and you know my dishonest, I'll have to hang up and block you now. And she did.
But not before I knew her full name and had her Linked in page.
That's just the worst example. Any woman that expects you to pay on a first meeting date - is not a mature or kind candidate. If a woman gets stinky because you don't offer to pay...well fate is saving you some time there.
I tell women now, that due to too many bad experiences, I only go "dutch" now.
As bad as you all hear that men are "dogs and pigs and only want one thing," there are just as many selfish, childhish, wounded, sick women out there.
Every classed modern woman I've gone out with has alway proactively insisted on paying her share. That called class and maturity. Most say they won't have sex before date 3-6, I tell them I don't pay for dates until after we are intimate. Lose a few, but I figure just the immature and unhealthy ones! I also have it my dating profiles I don't date women with herpes and am std free. That pisses some women off, lol. I can tell, because it's the ones who cancel the day before...they've reread my profile further down and caught that detail.
Had a great date tonight. 3 more lined up. All classy. One canceled for tomorrow in a pissy way. Figured she's herpetic. Not my fault. One even wrote me a nasty gram after reading my profile and said she should have to explain to an "adult man" that a partner could monitor their body and manage to not transmit herpes to someone. Which, totally isn't true, and that myth can be dispelled with 3 minutes of reading on the web. And young gents, a condom will not protect you from herpes or genital warts.
The best advice I can give you boys, is slow things down. When you go slowing, the cream rises, the high quality, together one's stick around. The needy and the speedy are dangerous (so many times I ask them if they are herpes free...and the answer is "no." They were never going to tell the next dude they slept with they had herpes. Humans can be so dishonest.
I only sleep with women I've dated for at least a month, and who has "fresh tests," I always keep my latest (tested after each new partner / relationship end) tests in my carrier bag.
Go slow, be smart, have fun, wait for high quality people.
Good luck out there!
Damn, how is a catch like you still single???