I have been asked to be an Alternate Groomsman

If this is for real your friend’s fiance is an idiot (this couldn’t possibly have been the groom’s idea)!

and who stood up in my wedding 2 months

What does this mean? He stood you up? Stood up when asked if there was a reason you shouldn't be married?

I have been asked to rent the same tux BUT NOT WEAR IT TO THE WEDDING “out of respect “ unless I am given “official status.”

"out of respect" you should not be asked to pay for a tux you are not expected to wear.

Your wife is probably right. Just skip the whole thing.

I'd decline the alternate status but attend the wedding.

Skip the whole goddamn thing, this is the most asinine attempt at social engineering I've seen in years.

Unless you're * positive * you'll be trading orgasms with the bride's mom, stay home and rim your wife, it'll pay dividends later (trust).

Can you be the alternate-alternate-alternate- and show up in cargo shorts and a teeshirt if needed?

I would just respond to the RSVP with a note that the wedding is your "Alternate" plan for the day in case your power goes out or you run out of nachos.

Alternate Groomsman wrote:

Recently one of the people I have lived with in college and who stood up in my wedding 2 months ago asked me to be an “Alternate Groomsman.” This means if one of the “Official Groomsmen” (and yes that IS what they are being called) “can’t make it or perform his “official duties” I will be called up to fill in.

I have been asked to rent the same tux BUT NOT WEAR IT TO THE WEDDING “out of respect “ unless I am given “official status.”

Is this a new thing?

The groom is one of my best friends and I feel a little slighted. My wife says we should just skip the whole thing.

Your friend sounds like a real piece of work, but it seems like you already know that.

I'd decline the alternate status but attend the wedding.

This. I don’t blame you for feeling insulted, and it’s RUDE of them to expect you to rent a tux that you probably won’t wear!

I would tell him you’re honored to be asked but have to decline on the grounds you can’t commit as you might have something else come up that day.

Never heard of an alternate and it’s wrong to ask someone to be one. Also, he should be paying for the groomsmen’s tuxes.

Your friend is cheap and rude. And if he’s a real friend, you should be able to tell him that. If I’m offside I want,and expect, my best friends to tell me. That’s what friends are for. Tell your cheap rude friend you will not be an “alternate” because that’s bull shlt. Then go to his wedding and have a good time.

Send them an alternate gift

Oh man. First of all, it’s not your buddy’s idea. It’s some stupid thing your friend’s fiancé read in Garden & Gun or something. Don’t take it too hard. Be the better guy. I’d send him a nice note letting him know that you appreciate the sentiment and are looking forward to the wedding, but that you’re declining the alternate spot due to the cost of the tux and your responsibility to be a good date to your wife.

Don’t feel bad about saying it’s related to the cost of the tux; he needs to hear that. Even if it’s not true. People get crazy at weddings and forget that everyone else doesn’t consider it the biggest event in THEIR lives, too. I had a friend get married in the Bahamas and invite 200 people. I went with my wife, but I’d say 1/10 of our friends showed up. Bride was crying. I had to tell them that people just can’t pony up $5,000 for someone else’s wedding weekend.

How old are you? Presuming you’re not a troll.

Personally, I'd advise you to decline an invitation to any wedding using rented tuxedos.

Pics of the fiancee?

lacking in taste and decency wrote:

Personally, I'd advise you to decline an invitation to any wedding using rented tuxedos.

Now THIS is definitely a girl thing. Most guys have a tuxedo, yet so many brides think the groomsmen need to have the EXACT same tuxedo, so they insist on renting 3,5,10 of the same. So dumb. Unless someone has a midnight blue or velvet tux, it really looks better to let everyone have their own personal details. I put my foot down at my wedding and just said, “this is stupid. You couldn’t even tell me how my friends’ tuxedos are different if your life depended on it.”

Young guys, if you’re asked to rent a tuxedo, go to Jos Bank and buy one. It’s about the same cost and you’ll wear it 100 times.

Tell them you now self-identify as a nudist and ask if it is OK to show up au naturel.

Guys World wrote:

Young guys, if you’re asked to rent a tuxedo, go to Jos Bank and buy one. It’s about the same cost and you’ll wear it 100 times.

Good advice on buying a tux but Jos A Bank?! Please just go out and get a nice one, it's not like socks where you have to keep replacing them.

Challenge the official groomsmen to an all out 800m grudge match road race. Winner gets to be the best man, loser is the alternate.

Guys World wrote:

lacking in taste and decency wrote:

Personally, I'd advise you to decline an invitation to any wedding using rented tuxedos.

Now THIS is definitely a girl thing. Most guys have a tuxedo, yet so many brides think the groomsmen need to have the EXACT same tuxedo, so they insist on renting 3,5,10 of the same. So dumb. Unless someone has a midnight blue or velvet tux, it really looks better to let everyone have their own personal details. I put my foot down at my wedding and just said, “this is stupid. You couldn’t even tell me how my friends’ tuxedos are different if your life depended on it.”

Young guys, if you’re asked to rent a tuxedo, go to Jos Bank and buy one. It’s about the same cost and you’ll wear it 100 times.

This is lousy advice. I have been a groomsman in four weddings over the last 3 years and we wore suits, not tuxedos in every one of them, usually navy or gray. I would have looked like a fool if I insisted in wearing my own black tux.