Why do guys dig crazy chicks?

derp wrote:

tl;dr: I think a guy should be able to bring up abortion as an option, but should only bring it up once.

I imagine there are some scenarios in which the woman is considering an abortion but is hesitant to bring it up first. Never hurts to open to door to the possibility that they might actually both want the same thing but haven't expressed it.

I think an abortion is A LOT harder for a woman to go through than a man. The guilt you feel is immense, as someone who’s carrying a life and supposed to protect that inside of you. But yeah the point of the discussion is that, this guy said that his ex was a nutter after going through the abortion (duh, of course), but he played a big role in it too.

If he had been more astute in the beginning he would not even take the chance of pregnancy with a woman he didn’t want to raise a child with. Bad decisions after bad decisions - stay away from people like that. As I said, sometimes crazies attract crazies.. or should I rephrase bluntly, stupid attracts stupid.

yeah, and there are definitely more tactful ways to approach it than bringing up abortion directly. Saying you aren't ready to raise a child is about as clear is it gets really. In the end, a guy just needs to make it clear: is he going to be there or not?

derp wrote:

[quote]Coffeegirl123 wrote:

[quote]derp wrote:

yeah, and there are definitely more tactful ways to approach it than bringing up abortion directly. Saying you aren't ready to raise a child is about as clear is it gets really. In the end, a guy just needs to make it clear: is he going to be there or not?

I have to say this tho, a woman can raise a child or children on her own if she’s financially set. I have parents who are super involved, and I have the financial means as well. I am aware that this forum is super male-dominated, but females aren’t weaklings either so please don’t stereotype all women that way. :)

Coffeegirl123 wrote:

derp wrote:

[quote]Coffeegirl123 wrote:

[quote]derp wrote:

yeah, and there are definitely more tactful ways to approach it than bringing up abortion directly. Saying you aren't ready to raise a child is about as clear is it gets really. In the end, a guy just needs to make it clear: is he going to be there or not?

I have to say this tho, a woman can raise a child or children on her own if she’s financially set. I have parents who are super involved, and I have the financial means as well. I am aware that this forum is super male-dominated, but females aren’t weaklings either so please don’t stereotype all women that way. :)

I wasn't.

I said a guy should just make it clear whether he's going to help raise the child.

:) ?

Wow, thanks Letsrun! Haha.

Post got me thinking.

Real Story:

Coffee girl, I am with you. I left my husband because he was not supportive during a miscarriage. He thinks I am "psycho crazy" and also accused me of cheating on him. Actually he accused me of cheating on him WHILE I was actually having a miscarriage.

I'm 40 so everyone I've dated is divorced and come on, dating after 40 is different. There is a certain amount of talking about exes because they are not all in the past. If there are kids, etc. there is still contact. So talking about an ex isn't a red flag necessarily off the bat. But I have a limit and I think I have found it! Lol.

I've been dating one guy for a few months and I am getting really tired of hearing about ex wife and ex gf, one was controlling and one was needy. I hear about the crazy needy one all the time and hear about how *not crazy* I am. I think I'm done. And because I am so *not crazy* it will appear out of nowhere, but honestly, it's like a switch has flipped and I am done hearing about the controlling one and the needy one (among others as well) FTS.

Hi, you’re right, I don’t know what dating after 40 is like. I’m 34, still married and met my husband when I was 25. We have a non-traditional marriage and have hit rough patches where we both do our own thing, but definitely still together at this point and going strong for now. My Husband is 46 and divorced though.

I tend to avoid men who are 40+ and never married (usually have issues). If they have been married, contact with their exes is usually unavoidable. I don’t blame the ex for being crazy, but I do judge how they treat their exes and other family going forward. It takes maturity to handle things with grace. Honesty is extremely important for me, any deceit is grounds for dismissal.. at our age there’s no room for games!

Enlightened Chick wrote:

Wow, thanks Letsrun! Haha.

Post got me thinking.

Real Story:

Coffee girl, I am with you. I left my husband because he was not supportive during a miscarriage. He thinks I am "psycho crazy" and also accused me of cheating on him. Actually he accused me of cheating on him WHILE I was actually having a miscarriage.

Btw I have had a miscarriage twice. Husband was extremely supportive though. How everyone deals with grief and loss is different tho.. maybe the ex dealt with it by pointing the fingers at you.. seems like losing a child always makes or breaks a relationship. Hang in there! It still hurts when I think about the lost children. On the bright side, dating is supposed to be fun! Go out and enjoy yourself.. keep meeting new, rinse and repeat ;)

This totes made me think about my ex Zoe. She's beautiful, smelled really good, and things started out so well. I thought we were perfect for each other. Suddenly, things changed. She started accusing me of looking at other women. Next, I was accused of cheating on her. At one point she hired a PI to follow me.

I stayed with her because, man, great sex. Until one night she tased me and pulled a knife out.

Anyway, tell me more about you...

Coffeegirl123 wrote:

derp wrote:

tl;dr: I think a guy should be able to bring up abortion as an option, but should only bring it up once.

I imagine there are some scenarios in which the woman is considering an abortion but is hesitant to bring it up first. Never hurts to open to door to the possibility that they might actually both want the same thing but haven't expressed it.

I think an abortion is A LOT harder for a woman to go through than a man. The guilt you feel is immense, as someone who’s carrying a life and supposed to protect that inside of you.

You think but you could be wrong. How about being a male who can do nothing to protect your child?

Coffeegirl123 wrote:

Hi, you’re right, I don’t know what dating after 40 is like. I’m 34, still married and met my husband when I was 25. We have a non-traditional marriage and have hit rough patches where we both do our own thing, but definitely still together at this point and going strong for now. My Husband is 46 and divorced though.

I tend to avoid men who are 40+ and never married (usually have issues). If they have been married, contact with their exes is usually unavoidable. I don’t blame the ex for being crazy, but I do judge how they treat their exes and other family going forward. It takes maturity to handle things with grace. Honesty is extremely important for me, any deceit is grounds for dismissal.. at our age there’s no room for games!

Since when is being married indicative of whether or not someone has issues? One can have a healthy, committal, long-term relationship without making it official in the court of law or church. I'd argue that those who have failed in their marriage after making a commitment have more issues.

Enlightened Chick wrote:

Sand Dunes wrote:

Than I'm your man. How old are you and your height and weight?

I'm 5'5" and 140. BTW I should let you know I "identify" as a chick.

So, you're a tgirl?

Enlightened Chick wrote:

Why do some guys like crazy chicks? .

Savior complex.

Coffeegirl123 wrote:

Hi, you’re right, I don’t know what dating after 40 is like. I’m 34, still married and met my husband when I was 25. We have a non-traditional marriage and have hit rough patches where we both do our own thing, but definitely still together at this point and going strong for now. My Husband is 46 and divorced though.

I tend to avoid men who are 40+ and never married (usually have issues). If they have been married, contact with their exes is usually unavoidable. I don’t blame the ex for being crazy, but I do judge how they treat their exes and other family going forward. It takes maturity to handle things with grace. Honesty is extremely important for me, any deceit is grounds for dismissal.. at our age there’s no room for games!

Can you please elaborate on "do our own thing"? Does that imply you sleep with other people?

Also, it appears you started dating your now husband when you were 25 and he was 37. The general life experiences of a 25 year old and 37 year old seem drastically different to me. I can only speak for myself (I am a 35 year old guy), but at 25 I was completely clueless. I didn't feel like I truly had a strong grip on life or the foresight beyond 18 months or so until my early 30's.

Was this ever challenging for you? And not to hijack the conversation, but I'd be interested to know how do people feel about significant age gaps in dating. Does it matter? What's the maximum gap that could work? 20 years? I feel like 55 and 75 is a MASSIVE difference later in life that might not be too pleasant. Although, I could be wrong (not likely).

Thank you!

LOL. "At our age there's no room for games" .

She's 34, he's 46 and it sounds like they are all about games.

Weird, I thought that men were programmed to go after submissive women? It's more like the opposite of what everyone is saying.

That talk will probably change when your tires get slashed I bet.

Coffeegirl123 wrote:

Enlightened Chick wrote:

Wow, thanks Letsrun! Haha.

Post got me thinking.

Real Story:

Coffee girl, I am with you. I left my husband because he was not supportive during a miscarriage. He thinks I am "psycho crazy" and also accused me of cheating on him. Actually he accused me of cheating on him WHILE I was actually having a miscarriage.

Btw I have had a miscarriage twice. Husband was extremely supportive though. How everyone deals with grief and loss is different tho.. maybe the ex dealt with it by pointing the fingers at you.. seems like losing a child always makes or breaks a relationship. Hang in there! It still hurts when I think about the lost children. On the bright side, dating is supposed to be fun! Go out and enjoy yourself.. keep meeting new, rinse and repeat ;)

Thanks coffeegirl! Of course I considered his position as well and in the end the reasons didn’t matter to me.

You’re right, dating is fun. Just gonna keep it light and rotate their butts until I find a good one.

Serious answer: Some “crazy” women are actually bipolar. They can be very hard to escape, because half the time they’re incredibly loving, fun, supportive, and they pretty much make themselves into the ideal fantasy woman for whoever they’re with at the time. But the other half of the time they’re throwing dishes at you. People think, “if only we can get over this dish throwing thing, everything will be great.”

Yo CoffeeGirl you sound like you're completely off the reservation... bet you are a blast in the sack!