I am best friends with a girl and I’m not attracted to her because she reminds me of myself.
Literally we gross each other out because we’re so similar.
I once told her that I used to sprint like a wolf close to those horse drawn carriages. She would do the same thing years ago.
?
pond scum wrote:
I am best friends with a girl and I’m not attracted to her because she reminds me of myself.
Literally we gross each other out because we’re so similar.
I once told her that I used to sprint like a wolf close to those horse drawn carriages. She would do the same thing years ago.
?
FRIEND ZONED:
POND SCUM GOES HOME DEVASTED!!!!
Reggie Beefcake wrote:
wineturtle wrote:
Yes men and women can be friends after dating . Common? Only among the emotional secure.
...Or the emotionally insecure. I'm sure a very small percentage of people can actually be best friends with their exes, but most of the time, I'd suspect at least one party is not being honest about their true feelings towards the other person. I'd be extremely skeptical if a girl I was dating said her best friend was an old boyfriend. It is weird, and if they tried to play it off like it were normal, I'd consider that red flag #2.
I suspect your dating mind set is linear attraction> date>fall in love> marry>have kids>grow old watching the grandkids. Anything else is failure.
I date because I enjoy the company of a woman, I enjoy the dating experience I find beauty in spending the now moment with an enjoyable female. I do not expect each woman I go out with to fall in love with me and want to be mother to my children. I expect to come out of most of my exploratory relationships with a smile. I expect a friendship if we find love and life partnership is not there.
We should have value to each other as friends. We have learned about each other, how we laugh and how we cry, how we think and how we react. We have learned to be supportive and to be honestly critical. Our time has not been wasted. It should not be thrown away.
Learning where dating and boyfriend/girlfriend ends and planning for a life together starts is import and should be well defined. A committed dating agreement comes well before the very serious stuff of committing to plan to marry
Of course often the reason you do not go forward is timing.
One of you sees 'it' is not working before the other one does.
Accepting there is no quiet rocker on the porch listening to the grand kids tinkling in the pool can be hard. When both sides see the beauty of the friendship you have forged it's not failure it's a welcome learning experience. As you say when one of you unrealistically holds on all you have is a broken dream and the friendship possibility is gone .
Things a sociopath would say
hmmmmmmmmmm wrote:
Well, let's say there was a friendship beforehand, and after it was maintained because the breakup was amicable (one person moving countries).
I ended up reconnecting just as friends with one of my exes with whom I had broken up a couple years prior for the same reason (relocating countries). Due to the situation it was a mutual, amicable breakup (I knew about her likely move when we started dating, although we were exclusive during our relationship). Most relationships end with at least one party somewhat hurt, so in those cases I think it would be hard to remain friends, but in certain situations it's definitely possible if she's someone who you get along with as a friend and there's no emotional baggage.
adgasfasfdsaf wrote:
thepsychologist wrote:
It's definitely not odd but unhealthy.
Very common as guy will get dumped (or convince himself it's a "mutual breakup" when it was really her idea) and then cling to the idea that some day they will get back together so will keep in touch and pine after her.
I highly advise against this - unless you haven't spoken for AT LEAST a couple years and you become friends randomly wayyyy down the road.
My best friend is someone I broke up with. She's married. I don't think it's that odd. We're grown ups.
This is basically the exact situation I was describing in my original post. So it's not odd?
Why even post this if you think that what you're doing is ok or normal?
What makes you think I'm talking about me?
hmmmmmmmmmm wrote:
Said ex-girlfriend is with another guy and lives in another country, but is it odd if a guy is still good friends and stays in touch? Or is this not uncommon?
Classic Schmosby.
One of my ex's stays in touch with me. She still tells me she loves me and thinks we will end up together even though we dated for maybe 3 months and broke up 6 years ago. She's fat now and sends me nudes and I throw up. I only talk to her because I think she'll kill herself if I don't.
That sounds very healthy.
I dated a girl all through high school and for a year and a half in college. The breakup was mutual and then i regretted it as she started to move on and date someone i knew. We shared a close group of mutual best friends so while the next few years (i.e. like 4-5 years) sucked and I was still hung up on her, I had to see her pretty frequently in social situations.
Gradually i started dating other girls and fell for a few and realized what i liked(which was not her). We both changed a lot as people and became friends again. We've known each other for about 18 years now and didn't date the last 12 of those. I'm in my lower 30s now and would never consider getting back with her, nor would she. We still hang out frequently with our group of friends from HS/college and she lives with her soon to be fiance.
So yes, it happens, but i think it takes certain circumstances. We started dating as teenagers and finished dating while we were still teenagers and still had a lot of growing to do. I'd be more skeptical if they were adults when they dated and if it was more recent.
I remain close friends with my college sweetheart. We would have made terrible marriage partners but are still soul partners. Marriage, children and adulthood in general does not lessen the bond
I have been in a similar position to this in the past. I have also noticed situations involving other people like you are describing. Overall, the most common thing I see is unbalance. In my experience, usually one of the people in the friendship wants more and one person just wants to be friends. This creates a complicated dynamic and ultimately leads to someone being hurt. There are exceptions to this but I'm speaking generally...
It's common. Women extract resources from men (time, money, attention). If they can do it without dating you, they will, and enough simps are willing to play along even though they get nothing in return.
idk why anyone would wanna be friends with their ex-gf, my ex-puzzies are in the trash as far as i concerned, the dudes can enjoy my used leftovers since i raw dogged and cream pied so many times..