She is an author, poet, film director, actor, supermodel, pro athlete, singer, musician, composer, scientist, race car driver, kung fu master, ninja, porn star, inspiration, religious icon.
Her feet don't get blisters, but her shoes do.
She can speak Russian in French
Her tears can cure cancer, too bad she never cries
She once brought a knife to a gunfight just to even the odds
When she meets the Pope, the Pope kisses her ring
If she were to visit the dark side of the moon, it wouldn't be dark
She once won a staring contest with her own reflection
Her signature won a Pulitzer
She lives vicariously through herself
Roses stop to smell her
She has won the lifetime achievement award, twice
She once had an awkward moment, just to see how it feels
Mosquitoes refuse to bite her purely out of respect
Panhandlers give her money
When she goes to Spain, she chases the bulls
Her shadow has been on the 'best dressed' list twice
Two countries went to war to dispute HER nationality
When in Rome, they do as SHE does
Presidents take her birthday off
Her business card simply says "I'll call you."
Television watches her
Her air guitar work has won multiple Grammys
She is the only person to ever ace a Rorschach Test.
Every time she goes for a swim, dolphins appear.
Alien abductors have asked her to probe them.
Her reputation is expanding, faster than the universe.
If she were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.
The police often question her just because they find her fascinating
Even her enemies list her as their emergency contact.
She's been known to cure narcolepsy just by walking into a room.
She's a lover, Not a fighter, but she's also a fighter, so Don't get any ideas.
She's counted to infinity. TWICE!
Her sweat is the cure for the common cold
She once got pulled over for speeding, and the cop got the ticket
The dark is afraid of her
Sharks have a week dedicated to her
She only gets outrun after challenging someone to a fight.
27 Post Office vans have broken down delivering Valentine's cards to her.
In Canada, they sing "O Alexi"
She fired Donald Trump.
Children bring candy to her house on Halloween.
The Dalai Lama comes to her for enlightenment.
When Midas touches her he turns to gold.
The Old Testament didn't mention her on the fear she would strike them dead.
She is so clever that sometimes she doesn't understand a single word of what she is saying.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and Alexi's greatness. And I'm not sure about the former.
Her greatest pain in life is that she will never be able to see herself perform live.
She's like a tree. She feeds the branches of the people.
She's pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, ridiculously good-looking. And she plans on finding out what that is.
She is the most interesting person in the world.