How the hell do people find the time to seriously date, get married, and have kids?

big question wrote:

Luckily I'm not interested in any of the above, but I'm genuinely curious as to how this is even possible without sacrificing something big. During your waking hours, you have to work, commute to work, cook or buy food, wash dishes, take a shower, do the laundry, mow the lawn, shop for personal care products, make sure your vehicles are maintained, etc. I don't have much spare time, and the spare time I do have is spent on running, vacations, and various non-running activities like snowboarding or taking a few minutes to look through letsrun.

How do you guys do it, and is it even worth the effort?

Go get your testosterone level checked. After you get it corrected, you’ll feel more like dating.

It's call priorities, time management, and sacrifice. Many of the things you list can be done (and are actually more enjoyable) with kids and wife helping out. My son helps me with the cars and yard work. My daughter's help my wife cook. We all clean the house together. Shopping can be done with the kids and wife, too. But you do have to sacrifice some things. I haven't snowboarded, taken a vacation, or visited letsrun for years.

Sack Rafice wrote:

My son helps me with the cars and yard work. My daughter's help my wife cook. We all clean the house together. Shopping can be done with the kids and wife, too. But you do have to sacrifice some things. I haven't snowboarded, taken a vacation, or visited letsrun for years.

My daughter helps me with the cars and yard work. My son helps my spouse cook.

gender role wrote:

Sack Rafice wrote:

My son helps me with the cars and yard work. My daughter's help my wife cook. We all clean the house together. Shopping can be done with the kids and wife, too. But you do have to sacrifice some things. I haven't snowboarded, taken a vacation, or visited letsrun for years.

My daughter helps me with the cars and yard work. My son helps my spouse cook.

My gender neutral child helps with car work, cooking and loves using the bathroom at Target! My partner and I couldn't be more proud of Pat!

I've found if you want a real relationship, you don't have to sacrifice anything. A real friend melds into your life. I've seen it a few times, and those people are very happy folks.

Biggest problem is: Finding that someone.

I'm still finding that someone... but I can tell you, I am very happy with my job, my hobbies, my friends, and most importantly I'm secure with my lifestyle. Basically -- If it doesn't happen, I could care less.

I hate to say it, but significant others/friends are like money and other objects, you can't do anything with them after you croak.

Folks worry way too much about getting married and having kids...

big question wrote:

Luckily I'm not interested in any of the above, but I'm genuinely curious as to how this is even possible without sacrificing something big. During your waking hours, you have to work, commute to work, cook or buy food, wash dishes, take a shower, do the laundry, mow the lawn, shop for personal care products, make sure your vehicles are maintained, etc. I don't have much spare time, and the spare time I do have is spent on running, vacations, and various non-running activities like snowboarding or taking a few minutes to look through letsrun.

How do you guys do it, and is it even worth the effort?

You have more time than you think...

Sack Rafice wrote:

It's call priorities, time management, and sacrifice. Many of the things you list can be done (and are actually more enjoyable) with kids and wife helping out. My son helps me with the cars and yard work. My daughter's help my wife cook. We all clean the house together. Shopping can be done with the kids and wife, too. But you do have to sacrifice some things. I haven't snowboarded, taken a vacation, or visited letsrun for years.

How did you post on this thread if you haven't visited letsrun for years? Not snowboarding in years isn't a problem if that's not your thing, but not going on any vacations is pretty sad.

As for the other stuff, that only applies during the teen years. Good luck getting 5 year olds to help with the cars or the cooking.

I hear ya on not a lot of free hours in the day. I work 10 hours a day and between communing/working, getting home/cooking dinner, cleaning, oh and running, the day is already over. I definitely think dating/getting married wouldn’t affect that too much, but what I have a hard time comprehending is how people do all that with kids. I suppose maybe one of the spouses works less? Or like others have some, something else has to be sacrificed (ex: traveling, free time, running, sleep)?

big question wrote:

Luckily I'm not interested in any of the above, but I'm genuinely curious as to how this is even possible without sacrificing something big. During your waking hours, you have to work, commute to work, cook or buy food, wash dishes, take a shower, do the laundry, mow the lawn, shop for personal care products, make sure your vehicles are maintained, etc. I don't have much spare time, and the spare time I do have is spent on running, vacations, and various non-running activities like snowboarding or taking a few minutes to look through letsrun.

How do you guys do it, and is it even worth the effort?

Easy. Cut down your work hours. Cut down your commute. That can give you an extra 30 hours a week depending on your commute to have a family.

But if you’re really not interested in dating, that’s fine. Don’t conform to societal norms and force yourself into an unhappy marriage that’ll end with your wife cheating (because all women cheat even if you think your wife is special) and have you paying her alimony. Just stay single and make money.

Yeah, that's what's wrong with jamin. He's just too busy.

big question wrote:

Luckily I'm not interested in any of the above, but I'm genuinely curious as to how this is even possible without sacrificing something big. During your waking hours, you have to work, commute to work, cook or buy food, wash dishes, take a shower, do the laundry, mow the lawn, shop for personal care products, make sure your vehicles are maintained, etc. I don't have much spare time, and the spare time I do have is spent on running, vacations, and various non-running activities like snowboarding or taking a few minutes to look through letsrun.

How do you guys do it, and is it even worth the effort?

Having a family is not possible without changing priorities. It's not for everyone but it's a good life.

big question wrote:

I don't have much spare time, and the spare time I do have is spent on running, vacations, and various non-running activities like snowboarding or taking a few minutes to look through letsrun.

Thank you for your service sir.

I'm woker than you wrote:

gender role wrote:

My daughter helps me with the cars and yard work. My son helps my spouse cook.

My gender neutral child helps with car work, cooking and loves using the bathroom at Target! My partner and I couldn't be more proud of Pat!

Unlike your one-dimensional gender-inhibited children, by gender-embracing children don't fret over the bathroom at Target. They have more important things to occupy their minds.

I get that people are not interested in kids or marriage, but I think the idea that you could less if you don't have a partner for an indefinite period of time is trying to convince yourself of something or justifying your lack of effort in finding a partner. Human beings are wired to desire companionship, and not just for one night every now and then.

As for not feeling like you don't have enough time, I think there are a couple little secrets about most people:

1. Many guys will fall into a long-term relationship or marriage with one of the first people that gives them an adequate amount of attention, probably they are scared of being alone, want to be led, or subconsciously know they can't do any better. The examples among my friends and family are endless.

2. Most people just aren't that interesting or active. And if they were not in a relationship, they probably would just be sitting around watching TV or playing video games or some other mindless activity.

And you?

It doesn't actually take that much time to achieve that end game. No need to date much or get married before having kids.

About what, bruh?

My question is how do you get a girlfriend?

Go ahead and keep trying to convince yourself that life is too busy to find a girlfriend or wife and that somehow all those other things come ahead of companionship and love, and one day you will wake up and everyone else is paired up and has no time to hang out with a single buddy. All the women in your age group will be taken. Life can get pretty lonely on your own, but if that’s yiur thing so be it. I will say though that i have all the commitments and demands on my time yet have been married three decades. We did it together and I would not have it any other way. Just remember though, one day you will be old and parents/family gone and being alone may be a lonely and difficult life, especially as health fades...