If you're doing well in life, is there anything wrong with living with your parents in your 30s and beyond?

Is the man child in question jamin by any chance?

I moved out after high school then came back home to go to university. Recently finished but still live with the folks. I am 29 now and while that is definitely pretty pathetic, it's only because I can't afford to move out yet. Given my current situation, I can't help but feel like anyone who is 31 and actively chooses to live with his parents has issues. I have great parents who are by no means a chore to live with and it is still awful. Hope I'm out soon.

Elephant in the room wrote:

Is the man child in question jamin by any chance?

That is obvious. The OP need to buy jamin a one-way ticket to the Ukraine.

Elephant in the room wrote:

Is the man child in question jamin by any chance?

I doubt jamin makes $100K+/year. He isn't in his 30s (yet) either.

Back to the question, it depends on where you live in. In some European and in most Asian countries, there's nothing wrong with adult kids living with their parents as long as the kids contribute their fair share and get along with their parents. But most Americans will look down on it. There's nothing objectively right or wrong, it's just cultural differences.

Singles living on their own have the most freedom, but even singles living with their parents have much more freedom than married folks, especially married folks with kids.

If you live with mom and dad and want to go on a random road trip or throw money on frivolous stuff, no one will stop you provided that you have enough money and vacation time. This is not true if you have a wife and kids.

Society views 30 year olds who live with their parents as losers because the majority of them are deadbeats who leave a mess in the house. But there are always exceptions to the rule.

if you're 31, cashed up and earning $100k/year why wouldnt you have your own place?

unless the parents are in financial trouble or he's helping care for a sick family member i cant think of another reason why you'd still be there.

fffwfff wrote:

I moved out after high school then came back home to go to university. Recently finished but still live with the folks. I am 29 now and while that is definitely pretty pathetic, it's only because I can't afford to move out yet. Given my current situation, I can't help but feel like anyone who is 31 and actively chooses to live with his parents has issues. I have great parents who are by no means a chore to live with and it is still awful. Hope I'm out soon.

Umm, you better move out NOW.

Once you hit 30 you will realize just how fast life flies by and you'll wish you had found yourself and true independence a lot earlier in life.

Should be establishing yourself with your own place by now, whether it be an apartment, condo or house

The dating market is a lot slimmer once you reach your 30s and beyond and even slimmer if you don't have your own place.

Perhaps for a little while to save up to buy your own house it's okay. People living with their parents in their 30s are more likely to be middle class rather than lower class or non productive because the parents would probably kick them out by then if they're degenerates. Some Parents would be okay supporting a working individual. I have supportive parents who said they'd start to charge me and my siblings (low) rent after we turned 27 if we were still in the house. I think that's completely fair. I have a coworker who lived with parents most of his life until he was 45 and then he bought his own house outright (no mortgage). Some people would be too embarrassed to do it yet they secretly would prefer to live with parents to save money anyways. That embarrassment is mostly noise on our own heads though. Sometimes we hear others joke about someone living with parents over 30 or the mamas boy but I think some of that is jealousy where they have opportunity to save more money.

get out wrote:

if you're 31, cashed up and earning $100k/year why wouldnt you have your own place?

unless the parents are in financial trouble or he's helping care for a sick family member i cant think of another reason why you'd still be there.

I can only see a justification for this if you're making $100K/yr but living in NY or the Bay Area. It's always cheaper to cohabitate in those places until you're making $250K/yr.

Otherwise, you're missing out on life and a mortage, putting money into a place you can actually own down the line.

And if your parents intend to leave the house to you when they die, well, you're an old man by then yourself with a very limited amount of time to really live it up in your own place.

Seems to me the main down side would this could be a significant impediment to finding a mate. If you are asexual or otherwise just not interested in a relationship it’s probably ok. If you want to attract a partner, it could be an issue.

singles FTW wrote:

Singles living on their own have the most freedom, but even singles living with their parents have much more freedom than married folks, especially married folks with kids.

If you live with mom and dad and want to go on a random road trip or throw money on frivolous stuff, no one will stop you provided that you have enough money and vacation time. This is not true if you have a wife and kids.

Society views 30 year olds who live with their parents as losers because the majority of them are deadbeats who leave a mess in the house. But there are always exceptions to the rule.

Society views them as losers because they are. The exception isn't the one making $100k, it's the one taking care of a parent with a debilitating disease like ALS. Otherwise it's pathetic.

You should encourage him to come out.

markschultz2018k wrote:

Otherwise, you're missing out on life and a mortage, putting money into a place you can actually own down the line.

^This. I'm actually similar to the living situation the OP mentioned, but the difference is that I have my own place that doubles as an investment and as a vacation home. I stay with my parents during the weekdays (shorter commute + they are nice people to be around), and head up to my place on Thursday or Friday night. It's the best of both worlds; you get both independence and the familiarity of your childhood home.

Money shouldn't be left "in the bank", it should be invested unless you're planning a big purchase in the near future. Put it in stocks, real estate, etc.

As a parent, I can relate, except for the part where your college grad HAS AJOB! I don't mind them staying a while to save some money if that is the reason, and we have plenty of room, but generally, I don't think it is 'normal' to aspire to live with the parents. Life in suburbs in a house is not exciting and they certainly won't meet future spouse that way. There comes a point when it's time to get out and make it on your own. Find out what it's like to have rent commitment regardless of whether you have or lose a job, have to deal with utilities and household problems, etc. That is part of growing up. Might be a good time for him to watch the movie "Failure to Launch". It came out in 2006, but is about this subject. For his sake, I think it's important for him to move out and build a life on his own. Just be thankful he has a job and realize it could be worse!

Going to call it as it is, move out my friend. I know a few close to me in the same boat. MORE than capable of living on their own with good paying jobs, college grad for several years now. Life goes by way too fast, and the idea of living in the same reality you once did in HS and your childhood, isn't exactly advancing oneself. If you believe you're living your own life still under your parents roof, you're selling yourself short. I have a hard time believing as time moves on, you're going to be thankful you never moved out on your own. By no means am I bashing, I just feel as if many in my generation (30 y/o) have used the "student loans and troubled economy" as an excuse to not step out of their comfort zone. In this particular scenario, it sounds like financials aren't the issues, and neither is parent's health, so then it turns to, what scares you about moving on? Good luck.

Several things:

1. Real estate prices have EXPLODED in some parts of the country. Combine that with student loan payments that so many young adults have, and getting your own place - even renting - is truly a budgetary challenge for many.

2. Yes, living with your parents into your 30s makes it much harder to find a spouse. Realize that young adults are marrying later - if at all. There are more single adults now than perhaps at any time in history. So the whole find a partner thing isn't a high priority for many.

3. I moved out of my parent's house in college and had a strong desire to never go back, in part because my relationship with them wasn't great. I will also never marry because, in part, I saw such an unhealthy marriage growing up that I swore I'd never go down that route. I knew as a kid that I liked being alone, and I still do today.

If you are single, good luck getting a date if you live with your parents. It gives the impression that you are lazy/poor.

I’m 43, own my home and have lived alone since the age of 18, but a few weeks ago moved in with my parents as I prepare to move to a new city. My parents are awesome but I sure get judged for stuff I usually think nothing of, ie. going running on Sunday morning instead of going to church, cocktails on a weekday, leaving my running shoes near the front door etc. It’s tough when you’re used to being so independent. Only 9 more weeks until I move in with my fiancé and I can’t wait.....

Canada Girl wrote:

If you are single, good luck getting a date if you live with your parents. It gives the impression that you are lazy/poor.

I’m 43, own my home and have lived alone since the age of 18, but a few weeks ago moved in with my parents as I prepare to move to a new city. My parents are awesome but I sure get judged for stuff I usually think nothing of, ie. going running on Sunday morning instead of going to church, cocktails on a weekday, leaving my running shoes near the front door etc. It’s tough when you’re used to being so independent. Only 9 more weeks until I move in with my fiancé and I can’t wait.....

See my previous post. Increasing numbers of young adults don't care about "getting a date". More people are staying single than perhaps any time before. So the whole "move out so you can get a date" thing isn't the motivator is was in past generations.

I live alone, but can state with complete confidence that I will never marry. That carrot would not have motivated me at all. I got out of my parent's house ASAP because I like being alone.

There's nothing acceptable about this situation.

A grown man should be out of his parents house after college, no later than 23 years old. I understand it's become vogue to stay with parents to "save money for a house", but that is complete bs. You can also save money for a house while renting. Or buy a cheaper house the first time around. This delayed-onset adulthood is creating a generation of "men" (and I use that term loosely) who are completely useless. They can't change a tire, fix a leaky faucet, or really do anything, other than play video games and use a smartphone. They're completely dependent on others. Single women are more resourceful at this point.

Kick the kid out of the nest and make him live on his own. If he's making $100k, there is no excuse at all. This is a pathetic situation. The only reason this should be occurring is if he's mentally ill.