I think I want to tell my parents so I can get help because it's taking over my life. A runner to the running community, what should I do?
I think I want to tell my parents so I can get help because it's taking over my life. A runner to the running community, what should I do?
lonelytot wrote:
I think I want to tell my parents so I can get help because it's taking over my life. A runner to the running community, what should I do?
So focus on what you like and join small groups of similarly interested people. Stop worrying about how people perceive you.
Or start taking benzos and live your life like it’s Groundhog Day while you gain like 6+ pounds per month.
There are moments when I cringe about myself in the past. Like I still think about the things I did more than a year and a half ago when I fall asleep. Honestly though, the fact that I did things like that makes it easier for me to do whatever I want now.
Gotta pay the price first.
Most people have anxiety, but when the anxiety controls your life (such as constantly avoiding certain normal social situations) then it is an anxiety disorder. People with anxiety do not want to be the centre of attention, but the problem is that they believe they are in fact the centre of attention all the time. Bottom line, most people are actually not judgmental at all. It's just you thinking they are and fearing that. Try to approach interactions to make people feel good rather than worrying about what they're thinking. To get over fears, it's best to face them. Avoidance only feeds the anxiety. I struggle with it sometimes and I see many others with it or even open about their anxiety. Perhaps they feel they can cope better by admitting it openly. That's good because others around them open up as well. It's normal to have anxiety, but again, anxiety disorder should be taken seriously and repaired with effort over time.
If you are in High School, there should be a school counselor that you can meet with privately to discuss this. Similarly, if you are in college, there should be a counseling resource center available to you.
Unfortunately, a lot of HS and College students deal with lots of psychological issues relating to stress/pressure, family issues, etc. Being anxious in some social situations is not unusual. If you feel it's dominating your life or interfering with functioning normally with friends and family and being a student, then that is unusual.
Find a close friend, coach, teacher, family member and share with them your concerns and ask if they have observed anything if that helps before talking to a counselor. Good luck.
Wookies can live upwards of 400 years.
Prolly drop a G on crypto wrote:
Most people have anxiety, but when the anxiety controls your life (such as constantly avoiding certain normal social situations) then it is an anxiety disorder. People with anxiety do not want to be the centre of attention, but the problem is that they believe they are in fact the centre of attention all the time. Bottom line, most people are actually not judgmental at all. It's just you thinking they are and fearing that. Try to approach interactions to make people feel good rather than worrying about what they're thinking. To get over fears, it's best to face them. Avoidance only feeds the anxiety. I struggle with it sometimes and I see many others with it or even open about their anxiety. Perhaps they feel they can cope better by admitting it openly. That's good because others around them open up as well. It's normal to have anxiety, but again, anxiety disorder should be taken seriously and repaired with effort over time.
Do not ,whatever you do, start to type a load of nonsense without using paragraphs. People just think you're weird. Honest.
Its very common to have social anxiety from your teens into your twenties. It goes away completely in your thirties once you've been through everything and realize that stuff really is not that important. You can tell your parent and one if not both of them had the same experience.
Peepss wrote:
Its very common to have social anxiety from your teens into your twenties.
True
Peepss wrote:
It goes away completely in your thirties
False.
You are a Parson's egg wrote:
Peepss wrote:
Its very common to have social anxiety from your teens into your twenties.
True
Peepss wrote:
It goes away completely in your thirties
False.
You just need to drink more.(kidding, don't do that)
Prolly drop a G on crypto wrote:
People with anxiety do not want to be the centre of attention, but the problem is that they believe they are in fact the centre of attention all the time. Bottom line, most people are actually not judgmental at all. It's just you thinking they are and fearing that. Try to approach interactions to make people feel good rather than worrying about what they're thinking.
I believe you are absolutely correct. When I finally realized that social anxiety and my crippling shyness were really symptoms of self-centeredness, I was able to overcome it. It wasn't instantaneous, of course. I had to keep reminding myself that I am simply not what others are focused on.
Also, another technique I used in social situations was to "fake it 'til you make it." Pretend to be relaxed, outgoing and friendly. Eventually it becomes natural.
And having empathy and real concern for others will shift your focus from YOU and what others are thinking about YOU.
My stepson is in his mid-30s, and on Social Security Disability for social anxiety. He has been in counseling off and on for most of his life. The therapy has always focused on improving his sense of self-worth. I believe that's the opposite of what he needs. He is already completely consumed by thoughts about himself.
He needs to get out of his own head and realize that others have fears, feelings and anxieties, too. He lived with us for years (until a few months ago), and displayed no empathy at all for his mother or me. Paid nothing toward our expenses, and refused to help with even the simplest of household tasks because cleaning a bathroom or washing dishes would be "demeaning."
His mother felt this was a separate issue from his social anxiety, but I believe both are symptoms of self-centeredness.
Did you consider increasing mileage?
My sad started at age 20 and is now worse at age 54.
I avoid everybody, even family.
I decline all invitations, people basically think I hate them.
Now I have passed this on to one of my children and she's only 17.
You need to address your anxiety as it will likely not improve on it’s own. From a self help perspective , focus on things you can control: clean up you diet ( no processed foods), keep active and running and try to get 8-9 hours of sleep at night. Look into “ Headspace” , it’s a meditation app that trains your brain on trying to be more mindful. It’s a scientific fact that mindfulness training can help with anxiety.
Consider seeing a mental health therapist and working with them on developing coping strategies for your anxiety. They may recommend a 3-6 month trial of a class of medication called SSRIs. They are overall safe and for some the missing piece of the puzzle to help get over the hump.
Disclaimer : I am a pediatrician and have a 26 year old son with social anxiety
A lot of social anxiety for kids is more about kids not fitting in to the social situations that are foisted upon them by schools, churches, families, etc. rather than a real in ability to have friends and meaningful social interactions. No one expects every kid to be able to run a 16 min 5k or play a Paganini caprice on violin or be able to write code for an app. But for some reason, we expect every kid to have fun at prom, or a big wedding or a house party or in a church youth group retreat with 200+ kids. These are social situations that are not for everyone. But for kids, parents, teachers and peers make it seem like there is something wrong with you if you do not like going to a football game or the homecoming dance. As long as you have social situations that work for you, you should never stress your self out because there are other social situations that you do not like. So, before you self diagnose yourself as having a real and significant mental illness, you should ask yourself whether your problem is that you are not able to find any social situation that you enjoy or is it that you are just different and do not enjoy certain social situations that everyone thinks you should enjoy. There are lots of people who hate school dances, big family BBQs and things like that. There is nothing wrong with that and no one should make you feel bad because you do not feel comfortable in those social settings.
Is your social anxiety worsened by the physical symptoms (shaky voice, sweaty armpits, forehead, etc.) like mine was? I always wanted to be outgoing/confident but as soon as the symptoms showed up it was a downward spiral (mentally getting nervous because I was starting to sweat, decreasing my confidence, voice starts to shake followed by shaky hands--eventually reaching a point of no return.) When I figured out how to manage the physical symptoms, life got much easier (perhaps go see your doctor about this).
I guess public speaking is a form also. I experience the same symptoms that you described. My heart beats so hard that my voice is uncontrollably shaky. I can't even complete the speech most of the time.
watch Tim's videos, he is a runner to, does a good job covering this subject. Maybe you can relate.
public speaking wrote:
I guess public speaking is a form also. I experience the same symptoms that you described. My heart beats so hard that my voice is uncontrollably shaky. I can't even complete the speech most of the time.
This is me. The bad part is, it got worse as I got older.
Proud of LR after reading this thread. Hardly any snarky remarks at all.
1. everyone has some type of anxiety. find a way to deal with it, or talk to someone. Not uncommon or embarrassing. People just don't admit it.
2. Change your diet. I'd bet that you are probably are consuming exorbitant amounts of sugar/carbs and not enough fat/cholesterol like most Americans and this is messing with your brain. Yeah you read it correctly. Do the research! weston a price!