I feel like I let life pass me by

First is to determine what the problem is.

How did you have an eating disorder, and how did that hinder you?

Why do you think your track season is going to be screwed up?

I went from being anorexia to binge eating and now I’m too heavy to run fast. I can’t stop binging.

I’m very shameful of my weight gain. I’m 5’6 and 150 pounds. I have 6 weeks until I have to race. I’m hoping to be about 125 by then.

I feel like my Track season is screwed because it’s going to be hard to train in a caloric deficit.

Running is overrated, have some beers with your friends and have fun.

I wish aha but I’m 17.

1) You can't safely lose 25 pounds in six weeks. Especially not while eating enough and training smart to get yourself strong. Forget that idea. At your size and age, its much better for you to be a bit overweight than underweight. Underweight and you'll be very frail and susceptible to injury.

2) Find a counselor to talk to. Or your coach. Or anyone really. You're stressed. You're afraid. Maybe there's more going on that you're not telling us about, but at surface value, you're not going through anything you won't survive, and that almost everyone else has to deal with. Find someone you can get the weight off your shoulders. Don't stop talking. Get this crap out.

3) Your college coach isn't going to yank your scholarship because you had a bad senior season. A lot of great runners have bad senior seasons. And they have it because they're dealing with too much pressure. Getting into college. Graduating. Leaving home. Leaving their friends, bf/gf...its daunting. You're not alone. Just about everyone in your class is feeling the same way, whether they show it on the surface or not. Bottom line, is, your coach is going to give you a shot. He's probably going to expect your freshman year not to be great either. Transition to college is hard enough. Keep at it, and in short time you'll be performing the way you feel you should.

Senior year wrote:

I went from being anorexia to binge eating and now I’m too heavy to run fast. I can’t stop binging.

What makes you think you had anorexia, and what makes you think that you can't stop binging?

It sounds to me that you're suffering from doctor-medical-itis, and a confused mentality.

I’m very shameful of my weight gain. I’m 5’6 and 150 pounds. I have 6 weeks until I have to race. I’m hoping to be about 125 by then.

I feel like my Track season is screwed because it’s going to be hard to train in a caloric deficit.

You can do anything that you make up your mind to do.

1) Believe in yourself;

2) Stop the binge eating, and eat healthy.

3) Focus on healthy foods, and portion control.

4) Do NOT starve yourself.

5) Aim for a healthy weight that is good for running.

Do more of what you did as a junior, and in an even more healthy manner.

You can aim for 125, but whether you get there or not, the important thing is stopping the binging and getting to a healthy weight, whatever that is. 140 is better than 150, and 135 is better than 140, etc. You'll probably be able to run well at anything 135 or less so keep aiming for that, and believe you can do it.

Again, the keys are believing in yourself, eating healthy, portion control and good habits.

You can do it! And it's all up to you.

Devil Dog wrote:

You can't safely lose 25 pounds in six weeks.

That is total BS, but don't get overly obsessed with the weight loss.

The goals should be a healthy portion control ~ not starving ~ and obtaining a healthy weight for running.

Whatever that is.

Depression, eating disorders, and feeling hopeless and anxious are not problems you can solve on your own. This is something you can't just tough out. You need your parents AND your coaches AND a medical professional involved. Some of the suggestions so far are good. And some are very, very bad. You need professional help and attention from the adults in your life. Go talk to them today. LRC is a toxic stew, and that's on the good days when people are mostly well-behaved.

At 17, your best running years and almost your whole life are still ahead of you. It a lot better than high school.

colder and wiser wrote:

You need your parents AND your coaches AND a medical professional involved. Some of the suggestions so far are good. And some are very, very bad. You need professional help and attention from the adults in your life.

The people you mentioned could very well be the source of the problems.

He's already getting suggestions from unbiased people, and that's probably the best way to do this.

Questions for answers wrote:

Devil Dog wrote:

You can't safely lose 25 pounds in six weeks.

That is total BS, but don't get overly obsessed with the weight loss.

The goals should be a healthy portion control ~ not starving ~ and obtaining a healthy weight for running.

Whatever that is.

Anyone can lose 25 pounds in six weeks. However you will lose muscle, water, or both.

That is definitely not a healthy goal.

What I would do is to set some goals.

Perhaps your first goal is to run/walk a mile every other day for a week.

The next week you try to run a mile every other day.

Eventually try to run for 20 minutes every other day.

Next the goal might be 30 minutes.

It might take you a while to reach running consecutively for 30 minutes so do not take what I

wrote as biblical. Set your own goals. If I was you I would schedule a conference with the coach and explain your situation and work something out so you can run next year. You are young and can bounce back quick if you build slowly.

Ask the coach for advice...people like that stuff!!!

colder and wiser wrote:

Depression, eating disorders, and feeling hopeless and anxious are not problems you can solve on your own. This is something you can't just tough out. You need your parents AND your coaches AND a medical professional involved. Some of the suggestions so far are good. And some are very, very bad. You need professional help and attention from the adults in your life. Go talk to them today. LRC is a toxic stew, and that's on the good days when people are mostly well-behaved.

At 17, your best running years and almost your whole life are still ahead of you. It a lot better than high school.

+1

Your college coach should have experience with EDs enough to understand it's better for you to get treatment and recover first, then build back your running. Running with an eating disorder and/or any major mental illness is not sustainable. It's better to get help early than late. Worst case scenario is you might get a medical red shirt your freshman year, but that's better than breaking bones, heart problems, electrolyte imbalances, etc. down the road that will take much longer to recover from. Also, regarding the weight gain, that is normal is you have been underrating. Your body wants to save itself. I'm not saying it's healthy to binge and gain a lot of weight in a short amount of time, but you need to recognize it's part of the overall eating disorder.

Thank you all for the replies! I am running around 40 MPW right now so I’m not really out of shape. I’m just not the runner I used to be and I will be embarrassingly slow compared to my teammates.

I don’t have any trusted adults to talk to in my life so I came here. Thanks again

hey, not a troll post. If running is all that you live for and find your identity in, then I believe that is the problem. I love running, and run a freaking ton, it fills up a lot of my time outside of school, but I live for something more. I am a Christian and find my identity in Christ. I would encourage you to look deeper and look for something to fill the void in your life. I believe that things like running is great, but there are far better when you give your life to the Lord.

Thanks for the response. I used to pray everyday and have a strong faith, but I’ve struggled to believe recently. What can I do to get back on track?

Can you take spring season off as well? I don't think you will be ready physically or emotionally to run fast times. I think if you run times that are slow as compared to your junior season, it will make things worse. Maybe train with the team, but not race? As far as your scholarship, what have you communicated to your college coach thus far. College coaches don't always handle these things well, as many care more about athlete performance than athlete health.

I don’t think that’s an option at this point. My high school coach gave me a chance to do that this fall and I blew it and didn’t lose the weight.

My college coach knows nothing of this and id like to keep it that way. I’m really banking on the money for running.

Senior year wrote:

I don’t think that’s an option at this point. My high school coach gave me a chance to do that this fall and I blew it and didn’t lose the weight.

My college coach knows nothing of this and id like to keep it that way. I’m really banking on the money for running.

Hasn't the college coach asked why you didn't compete in cross country? I understand not wanting him to know. You seem like you have a stressful situation with not a lot of real life support.

It is not like your high school coach can make you compete. Fortunately, coaches don't have that kind of power in high school. I think you need to do what is necessary to protect your physical and mental health.

I’m assuming your male. If you’ve signed scholarship paperwork you’re not going to lose your scholarship. Guess what? It’s hard to keep elite weight even if you’re a pro.

If you’re not in shape skip the season enjoy your last semester in HS because it will never be yours again. Concentrate on building a cross country base and get your diet under control because college is going to be stressful. You need to get a grip on having to be the best. If that’s what it takes for you to enjoy running and life then get out now because you’ll spend the next 4 yrs miserable.

Buy a biking helmet