Had anyone had the woman card played on them at work?

1 2 3 green wrote:

She played the "too much on my plate" card. Tell me how that translates to the "too much on my plate because I'm a woman" card.

Men use bigger plates and eat more.

Have you ever seen females at a concert? They tend to cry for no good reason.

Nothing wrong with venting, but, in this day and age of "equal pay for equal work," is the coworker actually doing equal work?

Consider the following:

1. Female coworker....manipulates her way out of stressful tasks. I don't think the gender-specific pronouns matter. I know men who try to get out of doing things. Gender is immaterial. Repeated behavior is the concern.

2. "She manipulates her way out of any stressful tasks." Since you posted about it, there's no doubt it bothers you. Make sure you are documenting this concern, every time it happens, because of the behavior, and not the gender.

3. Your coworker said she "has too much on her plate and can't do the meetings." Without knowing what is on the plate, let's guess it's all work-related. If this "too much to do" is part of the divided-up tasks, then are the tasks divided equally to begin with? If the "too much to do" is work-related, and NOT part of the divided up tasks, then time management and performance review concerns come into play.

3. You told her "not to worry about it," and that you "would do them." Quite a dilemma...covering up the behavior of a coworker, a behavior that bothers you. Once again, document the events, and be careful what you actually say. I'd say something more akin to "Ok, tend to what you must; I'll cover things this time." Maybe allude to the idea you two agreed to divide the work equally.

4. You are "not going to any superior about this." Actually, you should, provided you've documented the repeated behavior (see below).

5. You state you are older. That shouldn't matter, unless you've been doing the same job for longer. Longevity should have a higher salary....should a 1st year employee for position A receive the same salary as a 7th year employee in position A? Perhaps you reference age as a parallel to experience/wisdom. That's Ok...however, you are not there to cover for others if both are there to do equal work.

If someone finds a way to take advantage of another's good-willed nature, I'd bet they will repeat the practice. In a nutshell, your first step is to talk directly to the person who has the behavior you are concerned about. If that doesn't work, present your documentation, and speak to your supervisor about the situation, and go from there. HR may be able to provide insight on the procedural items if it must go further up in your chain-of-command.

vivalarepublica wrote:

Okay, so you’re suggesting that becoming emotional and almost crying is playing the woman card? Rather than a component of this individual’s personality? So you’re suggesting that just because she is a woman, she will use that to become emotional and avoid work?

YES!!!! You fing idjut! Do you not have any common sense? That is EXACTLY what he is saying and becoming emotional and almost crying IS playing the woman card.