Not science, religion or mysticism can explain. There really is no meaning, we do and act on how we feel. So, is reality subjective? To you, one person is sad and lonely. To another person he/she is living free. The actual person might just think he is normal and is dumb founded with what the other two think. Reality isn't even a thing. It is just a human made concept. So how do I know that is real? How do I know anything matters, when even what we feel are just chemical releases. Love, grief, hate, anger, joy, they are all just chemicals. As I currently drown in mixed emotions, I can't help but wonder if it is just a program. They tell us to grow up, get a job, get married, have kids and die. I can't do any of these things and I don't care if I don't live up to anybody's standards. I think.....I'm just gonna travel places and never settle while hopefully finding jobs wherever I move. I don't want kids; nor have I felt the need for any. I don't want to get married; nor have I felt the need to. You could say I'm just a child but I could say, "why would that matter?" I mean, why does anything matter?
I want to just climb the biggest mountain, and look out over the horizon for just a moment, then jump off with nothing but me. Maybe that's how I'm gonna go out. I just want to go on an adventure, where I have nothing but myself and I need to fight to survive. Then die after I am satisfied with my adventure.