Losing my girlfriend in college..

Literally the exact same thing happened to me; I was super invested in staying with my girlfriend even though we went to school 1000 miles apart, but she kept getting more and more distant emotionally. It ultimately culminated in me breaking up with her today. It really blows, but you'll survive.

I lost one because she wound up being a carpet muncher. I was off at college, her still in HS, then I found that out on break. Then she marries some Marine wanna-be, who gets axed before he even goes because he can't shake the speed, he beats the crap out of her for 15 years, she divorces him, marries another dude who is actually living with someone else the whole time, she divorces him, and I'm dumb enough to give a crap about any of this, decades later.

Very good advice in general. I really like the idea of responding non-chalantly, as this demonstrates that you are over her. But I also agree that it sounds as if you may not be able to handle such an approach, in which case you should just ignore her totally. I will just forewarn you about one thing. Many people say go out, hook up with other girls etc. Depending upon how much of a stud you are, that is not always the easiest thing to do as a freshman. Freshman males are at the bottom of the social order. So don't be discouraged and go back to being a lapdog if you don't meet immediate success. As others said, focus on school, cross, friends. Either ignore her texts or, if you can handle it, respond sparsely. And remember, senior males are at the top and you will eventually crush it. 20 years later I am still amazed at how being an upperclassman makes such a huge difference with girls.

It's waaaaayyy better to STOP ALL CONTACT IMMEDIANTLY. But if that's too hard the please for the love of god don't text her first ever. ever. seriously. don't do it. You probably won't listen but man please don't text her first. Start hanging out with dudes and making buddies. Talk to other girls. Even if she was "the one" to you, you weren't to her. It sucks to hear but if you were Brad Pitt then she wouldn't have dumped you. You're literally not impressive enough for her. But you don't neeed to be more impressive man. There are 4 billion chicks on this planet and i guarantee there are literally thousands of chicks that would kill to be able to date you and would actually appreciate you and when they wake up every morning would be like "damn, i can't believe i'm dating this guy i'm so lucky." it's her loss. That being said, i would try to set a goal of remaining single for 6 months. You don't want to fall into the emotional trap of always having to be in a relationship and fall for the first girl that bats her eyes at you. If you meet someone right before 6 months you'll know anyways. But don't look for a girlfriend right now. hang out with the buds, go on some dates with no intentions or expectations, and RAMP UP THE MILEAGE.

How you doin' kid?

Hangin' in there?

French Dawg wrote:

Also be prepared for the morans on this site to tell you that it's over because she wants to fvck other dudes. Not everyone in college is an animal, letsrun, people do have other goals in life.

How many letsrunners would put those things first if they had the chance to bang someone hot?

Thanks for all the kind responses guys. It really means a lot. I'm doing alright but most of the day I think about her unless I'm really busy. I'm going through the motions and I just feel like I messed this relationship up. I really love her and want her back and wish she would give me another shot. Just being honest here.

Hang in there bud! I can tell you that it's going to be fine, you didn't mess anything up and you don't "love her sooooo much". You are just overcome and awash with chemical emotions. I know 100% in your heart you feel she was the one, you were in love etc etc. but so does every other 19/20 year old that has broken up. Here is how you mess things up: call her, text her, contact her, text her back right away as soon as she calls, make yourself available and say yes to her first request. The moment you do that you slip into a nice little "lapdog" position and she is can guilt free pursue other guys. DO NOT CALL HER, DO NOT TEXT HER! Cannot emphasize this enough.

TroubledRelationship wrote:

Thanks for all the kind responses guys. It really means a lot. I'm doing alright but most of the day I think about her unless I'm really busy. I'm going through the motions and I just feel like I messed this relationship up. I really love her and want her back and wish she would give me another shot. Just being honest here.

TroubledRelationship wrote:

Thanks for all the kind responses guys. It really means a lot. I'm doing alright but most of the day I think about her unless I'm really busy. I'm going through the motions and I just feel like I messed this relationship up. I really love her and want her back and wish she would give me another shot. Just being honest here.

This is her decision, not your fault.

You're two different people, on two different paths, and the sooner you see this, the better.

The best relationship is where you both want to be with each other,

and you're both good for the other to be with, which is not the case in this situation.

As soon as you expand your horizons, you'll find yourself in a much better relationship.

get over it wrote:

You are just overcome and awash with chemical emotions. I know 100% in your heart you feel she was the one, you were in love etc etc. but so does every other 19/20 year old that has broken up.

Here is how you mess things up: call her, text her, contact her, text her back right away as soon as she calls, make yourself available and say yes to her first request.

The moment you do that you slip into a nice little "lapdog" position and she is can guilt free pursue other guys.

DO NOT CALL HER, DO NOT TEXT HER! Cannot emphasize this enough.

+1

TroubledRelationship wrote:

Thanks for all the kind responses guys. It really means a lot. I'm doing alright but most of the day I think about her unless I'm really busy. I'm going through the motions and I just feel like I messed this relationship up. I really love her and want her back and wish she would give me another shot. Just being honest here.

Don't fall into the trap of feeling bad for yourself. One good thing that can help you is to work on making her regret her decision. That means grind to achieve the typical LetsRun status of sub-14 5k, making $250k+ per year, and a hot wife.

Basically, focus on yourself and how you can maximize yourself in every area of life.

(Note: When I say make her regret her decision, I mean do it for yourself with the added bonus of making her regret. Doing it solely just to get back at her is just as bad as constantly feeling bad for yourself because the focus is still on her--not you.)

You're entitled to be bummed dude. Feeling like your heart got ripped out and beaten on with a 2x4? We all have. My first ripout came 28 years ago and I can still remember every second of the ending.

But as a older guy who's met thousands of people, I can honestly say I've only met two who married AND stayed married to their HS sweetheart. I've met tons who married and stayed married to their college sweetheart. People change at this time of their life. You will too. And you will better determine what you are looking for in your end game.

so be bummed for a week that's normal. Then, go run more, don't make this a pity party like others have said. Ton of great advice on this thread.

And remember, even Quenton Cassidy had girl troubles. And look what happened to him???

Do a couple dudes. You know, just to be sure.

Has anyone ever had an experience where they get back together with someone who broke up with you or vice versa?

TroubledRelationship wrote:

Has anyone ever had an experience where they get back together with someone who broke up with you or vice versa?

I don't, but this honestly not what you should be concerned with right now. All this makes you do is wish for something that is very unlikely and leads to you becoming her lapdog in hopes of winning her back.

Guys this is awful, I want to text her so bad and tell her how much I miss her and everything. I have no one to talk to about this..I literally would tell her everything.

TroubledRelationship wrote:

Guys this is awful, I want to text her so bad and tell her how much I miss her and everything. I have no one to talk to about this..I literally would tell her everything.

Re-read your own words a few posts up about not thinking about her when you are keeping yourself busy. Turn off the computer/phone and go out right now and grab one of your guy friends and go do something! Go bowling. Go get frozen yogurt. Go hit the rec center or gym at your school (where there will probably be lots of hot girls). Anything social that you can find. Just go do something other than sit around pining away for her!

Then when you get home, go straight to sleep without looking at your phone. Seriously. Just give yourself as few opportunities to think about her as you can.

Just remember Hillary Clinton wasn't bad looking when she was young and in college.

She wad even a Barry Goldwater Republican in her teens. Look what happened to her. Now she's a pathetic sore loser lefty liberal angry bitter evil woman. Not to me the cankles.

You need to get out of the moment, and get some perspective by taking some long runs.

Remember all this temporary pain can be used in the future when running on "Pure Hate".

Stand for the anthem.

MAGA

TroubledRelationship wrote:

Guys this is awful, I want to text her so bad and tell her how much I miss her and everything. I have no one to talk to about this..I literally would tell her everything.

She's been talking with lots of guys the whole time, while you've only been talking to her.

You drastically need to expand your horizons and meet more women, which in addition to taking good care of yourself should be your top priority at this point.

Put the x in the x-friend zone, and make sure she stays there, forever.