Anyone help support their in-laws?

Do you plan on educating your children? It is ridiculous to buy an Lexus SUV for you mother-in-law. Oh, $50k will not last very long in retirement; provides about $300 a month in income for 20 years.

Ghost of Igloi wrote:

Do you plan on educating your children? It is ridiculous to buy an Lexus SUV for you mother-in-law. Oh, $50k will not last very long in retirement; provides about $300 a month in income for 20 years.

Yes, of course we want the best for our children. Daycare, Montessori school, undergrad (wife hopes for ivy league, but we both went to state schools and do fine) and grad school if they choose.

Cut them off immediately. If your wife isn't down with that, then make her a deal that whatever she gives to them, she has to match in your retirement fund.

how old are you?

Sux for U. Send them freeloaders packing to whatever 3rd world sheethole they're from.

Don't buy new, expensive cars or spend lots on education. $ down a rat hole.

Very sad ... the part where she wants to be given an expensive car.

It shows that they view you as super rich, have no concept of handling money wisely, and that they feel entitled and won't feel thankful.

I've been through something similar although much less involved. Sometimes stepping up takes a different form than you thought it would.

If a niece or nephew got cancer and you were the only one who could afford to help you'd do it and you'd feel great about doing it. Poor, obviously, but you'd quickly come up with an internal narrative that would carry you through.

You need to do the same here. Set a limit $5k, a year 10k a year, whatever it is and know that that's the investment you're making in keeping your extended family happy and together. One of these days they'll up and die and your wife will love you and your remaining family will respect you for being the one who shouldered the burden your in-laws inflicted on you and never complained about it. You'll respect yourself for having managed to do it as well.

It's very tough (paying someone's bankruptcy attorney and watching them buy amaxed-out ipad the next week for a personal example), but some people just can't handle themselves. You need to decide how much more a happy harmonious family is worth to you than the fleeting satisfaction of telling they're on their own and then spend accordingly.

But, again, set limits, and tell them to f**k right off with the Lexus.

derp wrote:

Cut them off immediately. If your wife isn't down with that, then make her a deal that whatever she gives to them, she has to match in your retirement fund.

We already max out our retirement accounts (401k, backdoor Roth, USA, DCFSA) and plan on investing in after-tax brokerage soon. Our peers will probably retire early whereas we will not.

To answer another person's question, we are 33.

80s kid wrote:

derp wrote:

Cut them off immediately. If your wife isn't down with that, then make her a deal that whatever she gives to them, she has to match in your retirement fund.

We already max out our retirement accounts (401k, backdoor Roth, USA, DCFSA) and plan on investing in after-tax brokerage soon.

FSA not USA, autocorrect.

Also I'm the original poster, didn't know my password so I made up an unregistered name on computer.