My running makes my non running friends and co-workers angry ...why?

Why don't you ask them? My guess is that it's not the running. It's you.

Jumbah wrote:

I'm not bothered by their talk of kids' activities, home improvement, card games or television shows, but I've noticed that much mention of running makes them mad and elicits snarky comments. This morning, everyone asked each other what they did for their weekend. The highpoint of mine was a race with a great after-party with top-notch music but I knew better than to mention the race. I simply talked about the music and food. I am in a local running club but mostly, I feel that shutting up about running is the best way to go with non-runners. It just doesn't translate all that well. I'm posting this on the non-running area, since running is turning into my secret life.

Most people just aren't that interested in running, and talking about it can be a bit much for others.

Think about it this way. If you had a coworker who was really into bowling and was on a competitive bowling team and all they talked about was bowling, would you be that interested? Sure, they might be really good at bowling and their club might be very competitive and have great parties, but you can you relate if you don't bowl?

probably not

I hate bowling

..

Jumbah wrote:

I feel that shutting up about running is the best way to go with non-runners. .

That is right. People generally only want to talk about things which are considered normal activity(or lack of activity).

Even runners make each others eyes glaze over.

Ive noticed the same thing the op describes. People ask "what did you do last night after work?" and when i say, "i went running." They usually have some dumb remark. Imagine in your hypothetical scenario if the person said they went bowling and the person responded "i hate bowling, its so boring and youll ruin your shoulder!"

eye glazer wrote:

That is right. People generally only want to talk about things which are considered normal activity(or lack of activity).

Even runners make each others eyes glaze over.

Yup, STFU and don't talk about your running. Every year around the NYC marathon I'll get a couple questions at work (I word in Manhattan), I'll give a 2 or 3 sentence answer and that's that. If I mention I'm running (or ran) a different marathon I'll get asked how long it is, I answer and move on. No one cares about your running.

My wife rolls her eyes if I spend more than 30 seconds talking about it, but she doesn't mind me disappearing for a few hours to go for a run and running makes me happy, not talking to people about it.

Jumbah wrote:

I feel that shutting up about running is the best way to go with non-runners.

There's your answer. Don't talk to non-runners about running. None of my co-workers know I run. I have never said a single word to them about it.

You can always lie and pretend you play cards or watch TV, or pick up another hobby or two. I like running but if you talked about running 100% of the time I'd think you're boring as hell.

OP: You've already been given good advice, namely, don't talk about running.

But, nobody has really answered your question yet, namely, why do people get angry about this. Also, I do think that people get more angry about running than other sports/games, such as bowling.

I think people don't like it for a few reasons. IMO, the two biggest reasons are the following:

1. Many people have only encountered running as a form of punishment. E.g. in other sports, (just) running is used to punish people for making mistakes, or running is used to punish a losing side during a scrimmage. In gym class/PE, running is a common punishment. In HS, gym teachers can't make students 'drop and do 20,' since so few students can do that (and yes, that is sad), so running it is!

2. Somewhat related to point 1, people feel - whether justified or not - that runners perceive themselves to be better than others because they are electing to do what others do only because they have to. Now, I've met some very self important runners, but of course I'm met humble runners as well. But, the image is definitely that runners are some sort of haughty spartan, looking down at all plebs who lack discipline.

(2b. Some people also think that running hard is actually bad for you, and that therefore in their mind, you are not only a self-important prick, but you are also a wrongheaded self-important prick.)

Less important:

3. People view it as selfish. Doing things around the house and/or for your kids is seen as normal. Running is seen as solitary and selfish. (Again, this relates to points 1 and 2 above, since most people do take time for themselves on a daily, it's just that running is seen as more selfish)

4. Some people are uncomfortable not by your running, but by your dedication to being a good runner. These same people might celebrate somebody who is out of shape and then does a couch-to-5k program (and yes, that person should be celebrated). But, some folks are so out of touch with the concept of pursuing excellence for personal reasons that it makes them uncomfortable. They assume that you look down on them, when that may or may not be the case.

Finally, I also don't like bowling. But, I would think it's cool if a coworker was super into it - why not?

But yeah, don't talk about running.

Jumbah wrote:

I'm not bothered by their talk of kids' activities, home improvement, card games or television shows, but I've noticed that much mention of running makes them mad and elicits snarky comments. This morning, everyone asked each other what they did for their weekend. The highpoint of mine was a race with a great after-party with top-notch music but I knew better than to mention the race. I simply talked about the music and food. I am in a local running club but mostly, I feel that shutting up about running is the best way to go with non-runners. It just doesn't translate all that well. I'm posting this on the non-running area, since running is turning into my secret life.

Check out this thread.

Flounder wrote:

Why don't you ask them? My guess is that it's not the running. It's you.

Ha! Yeah, it could be me. However, when I raise topics like kids, television or home improvement, good talks happen. I have pretty good relationships with them in a larger sense. Some of them wear fit bits and are pleased to chat endlessly about how many steps they are taking per day around our (large) building. Which is at least as boring as my running-talk.

Hey thanks. I don't dwell on the topic; it's simply that I noticed how the subject falls flat, which is the reason for my post.

And your final point is the heart of the matter. When faced with friends, family or co-workers who have much quirkier hobbies, my response is to encourage their happiness/interests. Why shouldn't I ask the same in return?

Jumbah wrote:And your final point is the heart of the matter. When faced with friends, family or co-workers who have much quirkier hobbies, my response is to encourage their happiness/interests. Why shouldn't I ask the same in return?

Because most people do not think of bowling as a form of punishment. They don't have any negative memory of being forced to bowl against their will.

Jumbah wrote:

Some of them wear fit bits and are pleased to chat endlessly about how many steps they are taking per day around our (large) building.

Ummm... how many steps do they take on average? And how fat are they?

Maybe your running makes them insecure because you are fitter and thinner. Maybe they feel your running diminishes their "accomplishment" of walking so many steps around their building.

Just Another LRC Idiot wrote:

Jumbah wrote:And your final point is the heart of the matter. When faced with friends, family or co-workers who have much quirkier hobbies, my response is to encourage their happiness/interests. Why shouldn't I ask the same in return?

Because most people do not think of bowling as a form of punishment. They don't have any negative memory of being forced to bowl against their will.

but those shoes!!!!

I think it's because being a fairly decent runner takes a great amount of discipline, which most people don't have, and so they resent you for that (they might not actually be fully aware of it though). So they're jealous, basically, although they'd never admit it.

The idea of getting up early on a Saturday morning and getting in a long run, or doing a tough workout after a long day's work, is completely alien to them. They want to eat, drink, watch football. Even if they exercise, they need a much more structured approach, like crossfit, where somebody actually tells them what to do, constantly.

the first rule of runclub is to not talk about runclub

Everybody in my office is a runner and we rarely talk about running.

runclub wrote:

the first rule of runclub is to not talk about runclub

These points I think are all accurate.

I think somewhat related to them is the fact that most people view running merely as a form of exercise, which, to most people, it is. Thus, to them, if you say you went running after work or on the weekend your response registers, at best, like "I went to the gym." Would you want to talk to someone who, to you, could only talk about going to the gym when everyone else was talking about doing things with their kids or going to a new exhibit at the museum? I can see where, if someone had that perspective, it wouldn't be that interesting to talk to someone about running.

At worst, it could be interpreted by these people as akin to talking about CrossFit, especially if specifics of workouts and competitions are mentioned. And I guess the reasons no one likes hearing about CrossFit are similar to the ones mentioned above--air of superiority, etc.

Finally, I think related to Nos. 3 and 4 above is that people are jealous of you for being able to being in good shape and commit yourself to some form of exercise. Everyone who is not has their reasons and excuses for not being so, some valid--new kids, rough time at work--and some not--just want to watch TV. But you are someone who is doing it and unfortunately one reaction to seeing that is to resent it and make excuses for why you are able to and they arent--(just making stuff up here) no kids, not working as hard, etc. This isnt fair to you but its how people work, especially those who are in the position to be jealous of your physical fitness in the first place.

Because I think in reality everybody would like to be really in shape and a good runner, everyone that has ever watched a rocky movie and saw the training montage probably entertained the idea in their mind or fantasized a bit or maybe a whole lot..

But the reality is most people will simply never achieve that, something like running to start from scratch with little or no history of CONSISTENTLY working out is extremely scary to people even if they don't admit it.. If you asked a 1000 people what their biggest fear is most people in truthfulness SHOULD probably say they are most afraid of themselves.. (in a world where people were 100% truthful with themselves) but most people are in denial about that so they will never have as much self-control or discipline as they could if they did... Most your friends and co-workers if not all of them have probably tried to get into better shape at some point (without being forced) and gave up on themselves right away so now they are bitter about it and despise it.. It's pretty petty but it's reality, humans are very insecure creatures. No one wants to be reminded of the time they tried to better themselves but failed because they stepped in the ring with themselves and took a jab and ran out of the place denying to themselves the fight ever took place, because that would be considered weak.

They look at us running lovers and see us enjoying it and automatically become spiteful because they think we have something inside us that makes it come more effortlessly than for them or something when it's simply not the case..