Great Lakes Relay 2017

I don't know the answer to any of these questions, or what anybody is talking about.

A big shout-out to my friends from Ann Arbor Runners (A2Runners) running in the Great Lakes Relay: Lynk, Mack, Dylan, Liz, Jen, and a few more. I was offered a spot on their team but I declined.

GOOD LUCK TO ALL THE TEAMS!

From GLR Facebook:

The Great Lakes Relay has been canceled for Sunday. A runner, Rene Borchers was lost on leg 18 and has not been found. Anyone wanting to help look for her should meet at the Upper Falls pavilion at 7:00 AM.

Rene was found at approximately 6:15 this morning by our Course Marshals. She is cold but in good spirits after spending the night in a tree. Upon morning light she headed out and was found on C500. Thank you to all the volunteers from the GLR teams and crew who were up all night looking for her. Her family is grateful for our support and happy she is fine. Race will start at C1 at 7:30. Finish in St. Ignace as planned. If you can't make it to the start go to C2 or 3 to run.

This is Serious wrote:

From GLR Facebook:

The Great Lakes Relay has been canceled for Sunday. A runner, Rene Borchers was lost on leg 18 and has not been found. Anyone wanting to help look for her should meet at the Upper Falls pavilion at 7:00 AM.

Maybe they'll finally use some of the fortune they get to put this on to actually mark the course. Glad she was found.

First off, thanks to the police, and teams, and volunteers who did all the great work. Now, how was Rene actually found you ask? Well, they took Brendan Molony and Bret Smith over to the start of B-18 handed them the directions and said Go. 30 minutes and 4+ miles off course later she was found.

Congrats to all of the teams! Rough weekend for the Meat Train, but they still toughed it out and ran hard. Kudos to them. Let's take a look at what happened to the team after this historic derailment.

Team captain Kyle Smith was crushed after getting embarrassed, and cried the whole way home. Obviously this made driving dangerous, and he ran his Jeep into a ditch. Being only one wheel drive, he wasn't able to get it out. Some say he's still sitting on his Yeti drinking warm Hamm's somewhere in the UP.

Brett Smith never came out of the woods on day 2. Search parties were sent out, but were called back after four hours. It was determined that Brett didn't make it because his 0.004% body fat was only capable of sustaining his energy needs for three hours. RIP Brett.

Iron Mike got pulled over for going 170 over the Mackinac Bridge. A routine car search turned up a pill bottle full of non prescribed caffeine, Adderal, and speed. Mike will be doing 65 to life at Alcatraz, right off Mackinac Bay.

Jerome, after realizing he was "too old for this GLR *stuff*", went back to Lansing to re-enroll in undergraduate classes. Look out for him hanging out at college bars swiping right on every girl on Tinder, it's been a while.

Nate Orndorf was full of rage after busting balls and making a move on Lex on B-1, just to find out Carson had a boo boo and had he to run B-2, that he ran off and never returned. Another team claims they heard him yelling something about running to Wisconsin to escape parole. Orndorf is now among the FBI's top 5 most wanted.

Zach Kughn flew back to North Wyoming to start his new coaching job at an all-white, boys only boarding school. After the principal received word that Mr. Kughn fled the GLR as soon as he was asked to help in the search party, he revoked his GA stipend. Zach will appear on Naked and Afraid Mountain Men aired on BET at 6 pm eastern specific time in order to make some extra cash.

Stephen Merchant got dumped as soon as he got home, thanks to Jerome stealing his identity for Tinder and Craig's List purposes. Like we said, it's been a while. Anyways, Steve is now single, ladies.

Carson's mom made him come home early when she found out his knee was hurt. He has been laying on a couch in his parents' basement eating chicken noodle soup for the past 7 weeks.

The queen of the GLR, Leo Foley, got charged with a dui taking a runner to leg C-6, as he was still drunk from consuming copious amounts of cheap beer in front of the Methodist church the previous night. He eventually got off scotch free, as he is an attorney and makes a lot of money.

Again, congrats to all of the runners, especially those who drew genitalia in the dirt on people's cars. I'm sure we're all looking forward to GLR 2018.

Classic. But to correct you, it was 165mph and all the cops were still out searching for the missing runner from Day 2.

While us booty chasers agree with most of what has been said on this thread, we can't help but be disappointed with the lack of discussion of 3 time team Out Chasing Booty. This year being the most eventful as our Team Captain Daniel Rose led A-4 for 80 whole feet, newcomer Derek Hietpas ran 7 miles barefoot after losing his shoes on A-7, and Out Chasing Booty finished 8th after handicaps. Only to follow on day 2 with a memorable near last place finish after getting lost several times throughout the day and Pan Am qualifier Nathan Mylenek being demoralized by high school girls on his 10 miler four seperate times. Only to have newcomer Bobby Beggs roll 6:02's for the swampy 8 mile final leg to allow us to finish without wearing the disgraceful "C's".

Watch for us next year as we struggle to not get lost and hopefully secure our first ever oversized mugs.

The team would like to also add that we enjoy our 24 packs of Budweiser and Coors Light before they get dumped out by the DNR.

Until next year.

#burntheC's

Congrats to all who survived GLR this past weekend. It will be a memorable year for sure.

All the post-GLR talk seems to be focused on the derailment of Meat Train, which I must confess was rather sad to watch. They could have thrown the towel in after getting down to 6 guys on Day 3, but they showed all runners what perseverance was all about. Leo Foley, the grandfather of GLR rallied the team together.

However, I think the true glory should go to the Meat Flop. They placed 2nd in the mixed but 4th in the open, even ahead of Meat Train. This team of has beens had pretty low expectations, but I heard Brendan Molony miraculously navigated through his routes during the weekend. Rumor has it his team was fueled by Mama Molony's cooking 2 nights of GLR and then she stationed DNR crew along his legs in fear of her son getting so lost and ate by a bear. Additionally, Nick Thelen managed to run some decent legs despite weeks of complaining of low iron. That kid is a pure diva. Not sure how his team puts up with that.

Speaking of bears.....The Bear Force killed it in the fun scene yet again. Who doesn't want to be on their team? Even Meat Flop's own, Paige Boldt, was offered a spot on the their team after she threw the hammer down on one of their guys on Leg 1 of Day 3 and left him feeling all cub like and defeated. She's been known to skip teams as she's rumored to recently leave the playmakers club for "better opportunities." Let's be honest though, no one really seemed to care as Zac Widner threw down sub 4:30's on the same leg and crushed the field. Let's see if he can keep the glory going on his upcoming road mile.

On other notes, Bennett P was seen showing all the leg in his infamous short shorts. Suns out thighs out was his motto and he had the ladies blushing. And on that note, that's really all you need to know about what happened at GLR.

I ran that leg (B-18) and it was very well marked. Blue blazes every few trees and no major changes except one with a big sign pointing to the upper falls. She probably got caught in the dark with no headlamp and couldn't see the blazes.

Rumor has it that she turned into a werewolf and had to wait until dawn to show herself.

Morsi is a werewolf.

gubyenletsrun wrote:

I ran that leg (B-18) and it was very well marked. Blue blazes every few trees and no major changes except one with a big sign pointing to the upper falls. She probably got caught in the dark with no headlamp and couldn't see the blazes.

Up a tree, covered in mud. I smell a rat ...