Why Is It OK For Older Men To Date Younger Women But Not Vise Versa?

Cougar Bait wrote:

Why the hypocrisy?

Not really hypocrisy. More of a double standard.

aquafina wrote:

Men do not value a woman's social standing or professional accomplishments. Just not a turn on for us.

Again to use Hillary Clinton, she was a senator, Sec. of State, and within a hair of winning th POTUS, One of the most accomplished women in the USA, and she is very very wealthy. But if given a chance to bone her or a hot Hooters girl, 99 out of 100 guys are going for the Hooters waitress.

What did Hillary accomplish? And please give some thought as to where and how she got her money. She is worthless.

Also, it would not be 99 out of 100; more like 10,000 out of 10,000. Just ask her husband.

Double standards wrote:

...

but yet to meet one guy who fantasises about 60 year old women in a good shape, ...

How do you do, sir? Now you have.

It has nothing to do with social acceptability and everything to do with jealousy.

If a male extends the criticism, it is not that you dated a younger man. It is that you did not date him.

If a female extends the criticism, it is not that you dated a younger man. It is that she did not.

You live in a world where several people have an irrational worldview of "scarcity" when it comes to dating. In other words, they have to believe that (1) every member of the opposite sex is a potential partner, (2) they have checked all the boxes to be a desirable partner, and (3) they are in control of whether or not a relationship is started. Victim-shaming and slut-shaming stems mainly from challenges to this ego-driven worldview.

Imokayyoureokay wrote:

When I was 22 I started to see a 57 year old woman. She worked as a receptionist in my doctor's office. We dated for seven years. My parents were cool with it but her children and parents disapproved. Just before she turned 65 I realized that I actually wanted children. She wanted to adopt, but I just wasn't into it. 10 years later, I'm happily married with 2 kids but still see my ex from time to time.

Unless she was Christie Brinkley, you are just plain creepy.

Hopefully you got help.

This conversation is getting off the original topic. I think there is a double standard, but not by design. It is much easier for a man to stay fit in his 40's and 50's than a woman. And society does not put as much requirements on a man's physique as a woman's. A somewhat hefty man can still be attractive, while a hefty woman, unless able to carry it like Adele , who is somewhat attractive, does not look attractive.

And, while stereotypical marriages of the man being the breadwinner are beginning to change, many are still that format. Some by choice, with the woman wanting a stable environment for her children, and chooses to stay home. Some by a created situation like two incomes are needed and the money is hard to turn down, so they both work.

Finally, if a man gains weight, it is no big deal. If a woman gains weight, everyone is expected to keep their mouth shut! We put higher demands on women. We brag about women who maintain their figure after childbirth. And what does that say about women who do not?

I workout like many of you in here. But it is obvious when you go to 10 or 20 year high school reunions, that not everybody does. And, unfortunately, the women who have gained weight are giving more shock than the men.

Also, it is rare than a woman who looks good in her 40's is interested in a male in his 20's or 30's. simply because a mature woman wants more than a young body for sex in dating. A one nighter, maybe. But the maturity level can be leagues apart, and while a man can live with it as long as he is getting that young tight body bouncing on his lap, the woman typically wants more.

I don't understand why people are so judgmental about these kinds of relationships. I'm engaged to a 72 year old woman. I'm 26. So what? I met her when I was in my last year of college - 5 years ago. She worked in a convenience store on campus. I would occasionally see her at a local bar. We ended up going back to her place one night (her husband left her for a younger woman years ago). The rest is history. My friends think she is cool.

It seems to me if a woman dates a younger man she gets way more flack about it than when a man dates a younger woman. A guy likes Hugh Heffner still looks cool hanging/dating younger men. If someone like Florence Henderson, Raquel Welch and others dates much younger men they would be labeled as female child molesters or cradle robbers or nursery kidnappers. Fine, I get it. Not everyone is into the age differences and no, I don't necessarily chase after women who are 15-20+ older than me. I have dated women in that age gap and like women my age as well. I don't get the prejudice and the heat that women that date younger guys get. Isn't about how the guy treats her? Doesn't that mean anything anymore? Not all men that choose these women have mommy issues or are looking for someone to take care of them.

Cougar Bait wrote:

If someone like Florence Henderson, Raquel Welch and others dates much younger men they would be labeled as female child molesters or cradle robbers or nursery kidnappers.

No they wouldn't. The truth is they older women don't have the option to date younger men so you will never see this happen. Men would marry a 25 year old Plain Jane over a 45 year old washed up model.

It all really comes down to biology and evolution. The vast majority of the reasons why men prefer younger women arise from fertility markers. Full lips, bright eyes, long flowing hair, nice knockers, skin, etc. are all signs that a woman is fertile. Grey hair, thinning lips, sagging eye lids and knockers, etc. are all signs that fertility is waning. Men are hard wired to seek out fertile women, but not so much the other way around. Male fertility holds on much longer than for women. So, women are not as hard wired to seek out men who have strong fertility markers. Thus, it is accepted that an older man can still have a family with a much younger women, but the opposite is not as likely.

I don't get why you say this guy is "creepy" and needs help. I married my high school sweetheart when I was 18. 30 years and 2 kids later, we are still together. But when I was 20 we hit a rough patch and I had a 3 year affair with an older woman. At the time, I was working for a lawn maintenance company and we had a contract to work on her (and her husband's) house. I would see her a couple of times a week. Not proud of it but not ashamed either. Her marriage was also going through a rough patch - after her husband retired, they realized that they had grown apart. She hit some sort of personal crisis when she turned 70 and broke off our relationship. I don't regret that relationship and don't think it was "creepy". I look back fondly on our time together. Does that make me "creepy" too?

Call me picky wrote:

I'm an older female. I can't imagine dating someone in their twenties or early thirties, too young for me. On the opposite side I can't imagine dating someone who is 10+yrs older, I don't care how if they are super rich or not, it's not in the cards for me. Few yrs younger or older is fine as long as they take care of themselves and I'm attracted to them.

Serious question though. You say you will not date a guy in his twenties. But do you lust for young men's bodies and would you dabble to cure any inklings you may have purely for physical satisfaction?

It's in the genes and evolutionary. Older fellas by being older and healthy and able to get a hard on showed they had good genes and would get the pick of the younger women to ensure the bloodline would continue and improve. Once the women was past her child bearing prime she would naturally deteriorate, much like most women today, although now many are in that state as pre-teens/teens too, so the future ain't looking good.

I like how these type of threads devolve into a bad version of Penthouse Letters.

Cougar Bait wrote:

Why the hypocrisy?

In the words of the late, great Redd Fox, "Ain't nuthin' uglier than an old white woman."

Precious Roy wrote:

It all really comes down to biology and evolution. The vast majority of the reasons why men prefer younger women arise from fertility markers. Full lips, bright eyes, long flowing hair, nice knockers, skin, etc. are all signs that a woman is fertile. Grey hair, thinning lips, sagging eye lids and knockers, etc. are all signs that fertility is waning. Men are hard wired to seek out fertile women, but not so much the other way around. Male fertility holds on much longer than for women. So, women are not as hard wired to seek out men who have strong fertility markers. Thus, it is accepted that an older man can still have a family with a much younger women, but the opposite is not as likely.

Maybe for the first time around or first marriages but lately I've been seeing more successful divorced men hooking up with women similar to their age.

You should keep an open mind. I've dated three older women who never even thought about being in a relationship with a younger man - until circumstances brought us together. For example, I dated a 49 year old woman when I was 19. Her husband and my father were best friends and business partners. Her husband spent all of his time working or playing racquetball. She called our house one night when she was having problems with her furnace. Her husband and my father were out of town on business. I went over and we talked all night. Within a week we were a couple. But she never broke up with her husband. In fact, to this day he has no idea.

I have no need for PlayBoy magazine with threads like these.

It is true. Women that are involved in these kinds of relationships definitely get more heat. Hell even women bash these women. It almost seems that those that put down those who are happy are not happy themselves. Remember, misery loves company.

Personally I respected the women that were older than me that I dated. Well most of them. The ones I did were kind, loving, supportive of what I did. It wasn't just about the sex although it was amazing with a few of them.

People need to realize that love works in strange ways sometimes. Even if you are not going to marry them, it doesn't mean you can't have a place in someone's life or their heart.

And no, I wasn't a toy to these women I dated. I paid more than my share for things. Now some of the one night stands, that's another story.