And for the men, can you blame them? Hardly.
And for the men, can you blame them? Hardly.
I am a young person and I am not married. Your statement must be true.
Define "young."
We talking 12-year-olds?
People aren't getting married because they are never satisfied with what they have. Addiction to social media and obsession over others' lives has lead people to believe that they are entitled to the best of the best in the dating world, yet offer very little in return.
You have a population of boring, vapid people walking around with delusions of grandeur thinking they're better than everyone else, and thus deserve more than everyone else in terms of dating.
bort wrote:
People aren't getting married because they are never satisfied with what they have. Addiction to social media and obsession over others' lives has lead people to believe that they are entitled to the best of the best in the dating world, yet offer very little in return.
You have a population of boring, vapid people walking around with delusions of grandeur thinking they're better than everyone else, and thus deserve more than everyone else in terms of dating.
It is true. I'm better than you and deserve a hotter girl than you.
That's not it. Millennials want easy, less-complicated lives. This is why even the ones who could afford to aren't buying homes. They don't want to be tied down by a home or a marriage. Free to leave the area at a moment's notice.
bort wrote:
People aren't getting married because they are never satisfied with what they have. Addiction to social media and obsession over others' lives has lead people to believe that they are entitled to the best of the best in the dating world, yet offer very little in return.
You have a population of boring, vapid people walking around with delusions of grandeur thinking they're better than everyone else, and thus deserve more than everyone else in terms of dating.
= / = marriage wrote:
And for the men, can you blame them? Hardly.
Charles Murray discussed this in "Coming Apart." Married people in the USA are now a minority and increasingly are upper middle class economically or higher.
bort wrote:
People aren't getting married because they are never satisfied with what they have. Addiction to social media and obsession over others' lives has lead people to believe that they are entitled to the best of the best in the dating world, yet offer very little in return.
You have a population of boring, vapid people walking around with delusions of grandeur thinking they're better than everyone else, and thus deserve more than everyone else in terms of dating.
Good point. I was 'offline' for 2 weeks a month ago, and I don't think I've ever felt better and more present. Wasn't thinking about outdoing others, etc. So when you meet a girl you aren't thinking about comparing to others, telling friends, and so on. Just live in the moment.
hergy wrote:
That's not it. Millennials want easy, less-complicated lives. This is why even the ones who could afford to aren't buying homes. They don't want to be tied down by a home or a marriage. Free to leave the area at a moment's notice.
bort wrote:People aren't getting married because they are never satisfied with what they have. Addiction to social media and obsession over others' lives has lead people to believe that they are entitled to the best of the best in the dating world, yet offer very little in return.
You have a population of boring, vapid people walking around with delusions of grandeur thinking they're better than everyone else, and thus deserve more than everyone else in terms of dating.
For previous generations it was possible to graduate, find a good job and work at the same company until retirement, at which point you would be eligible for a generous pension.
Nowadays, there is no longer any stability. Many millennials can only find temp work and even those who find good jobs can't necessarily predict whether their industry of choice will be mostly wiped out in the coming years by advancing technology.
Housing prices and paying off student loans are also impediments to becoming comfortable enough in your life to settle down.
In times like these, it pays to remain flexible, rather than being tied down.
dirt poor college grad wrote:
For previous generations it was possible to graduate, find a good job and work at the same company until retirement, at which point you would be eligible for a generous pension.
Nowadays, there is no longer any stability. Many millennials can only find temp work and even those who find good jobs can't necessarily predict whether their industry of choice will be mostly wiped out in the coming years by advancing technology.
Housing prices and paying off student loans are also impediments to becoming comfortable enough in your life to settle down.
In times like these, it pays to remain flexible, rather than being tied down.
Millennials want to have their cake and eat it too. They want a high paying job but don't want to work extra hours to get there. They want to enter at that level. They expect flexible work hours and time to go off and find themselves, taking long breaks between jobs. They'll job-hop in an instant, because something better is always just over the horizon. Employers don't want flaky people who can't put their phones away and work hard every day. They don't want people who will quit after 6 months or want two months off to take a Europe trip Previous generations didn't act like this.
People have fewer kids when they feel their financial future insecure, and the main reason people get married is to have kids.
Oh please... wrote:
dirt poor college grad wrote:For previous generations it was possible to graduate, find a good job and work at the same company until retirement, at which point you would be eligible for a generous pension.
Nowadays, there is no longer any stability. Many millennials can only find temp work and even those who find good jobs can't necessarily predict whether their industry of choice will be mostly wiped out in the coming years by advancing technology.
Housing prices and paying off student loans are also impediments to becoming comfortable enough in your life to settle down.
In times like these, it pays to remain flexible, rather than being tied down.
Millennials want to have their cake and eat it too. They want a high paying job but don't want to work extra hours to get there. They want to enter at that level. They expect flexible work hours and time to go off and find themselves, taking long breaks between jobs. They'll job-hop in an instant, because something better is always just over the horizon. Employers don't want flaky people who can't put their phones away and work hard every day. They don't want people who will quit after 6 months or want two months off to take a Europe trip Previous generations didn't act like this.
Well here's a thought: Why don't businesses offer lower base salaries and hand out bonuses every 6 months or so to encourage company loyalty?
I don't live in the U.S. but where I live unemployment is above 20%, currently. Companies are definitely at least as disloyal to their employees as their employees are to them.
I would kill for a 9-5, stable, middle-class job that I know that I can rely on for several decades, rather than until the next downturn. These jobs still exist but there is a lot more competition for them than there used to be.
Without career stability, I can't see myself ever starting a family.
I cannot imagine this is true. I am admittedly a bit out of sync with the average person, but this seems false. It certainly is in my case.
The Unfortunate Truth wrote:
People have fewer kids when they feel their financial future insecure, and the main reason people get married is to have kids.
Met my wife st 26, married 28, first kid 32, second kid 36.
If I could move marriage up 2-3 years and having kids 26-28 I would. It is exhausting being in your 40s chasing kids around. I couldn't imagine being any older.
Waiting is not what it's cracked up to be. Everyone wants to travel and move up the ladder and that's great. Until your old with young kids.
Oh please... wrote:
dirt poor college grad wrote:For previous generations it was possible to graduate, find a good job and work at the same company until retirement, at which point you would be eligible for a generous pension.
Nowadays, there is no longer any stability. Many millennials can only find temp work and even those who find good jobs can't necessarily predict whether their industry of choice will be mostly wiped out in the coming years by advancing technology.
Housing prices and paying off student loans are also impediments to becoming comfortable enough in your life to settle down.
In times like these, it pays to remain flexible, rather than being tied down.
Millennials want to have their cake and eat it too. They want a high paying job but don't want to work extra hours to get there. They want to enter at that level. They expect flexible work hours and time to go off and find themselves, taking long breaks between jobs. They'll job-hop in an instant, because something better is always just over the horizon. Employers don't want flaky people who can't put their phones away and work hard every day. They don't want people who will quit after 6 months or want two months off to take a Europe trip Previous generations didn't act like this.
Companies don't show any loyalty to employees any more why should they expect it back
H. Dong wrote:
Met my wife st 26, married 28, first kid 32, second kid 36.
If I could move marriage up 2-3 years and having kids 26-28 I would. It is exhausting being in your 40s chasing kids around. I couldn't imagine being any older.
Waiting is not what it's cracked up to be. Everyone wants to travel and move up the ladder and that's great. Until your old with young kids.
Very similar situation with 3rd kid at 35 years old and married at 29. I think we married Adu the right age that allowed us to work towards some independent life goals, but would move up having kids a few years. Many of my friends are in serious, long term relationships, but say they are far from getting married. All I can think about is how old they're going to be when they have kids and my anxiety goes up.
Having a teenager while you're in your 60s sounds like a nightmare.
Oh please... wrote:
dirt poor college grad wrote:For previous generations it was possible to graduate, find a good job and work at the same company until retirement, at which point you would be eligible for a generous pension.
Nowadays, there is no longer any stability. Many millennials can only find temp work and even those who find good jobs can't necessarily predict whether their industry of choice will be mostly wiped out in the coming years by advancing technology.
Housing prices and paying off student loans are also impediments to becoming comfortable enough in your life to settle down.
In times like these, it pays to remain flexible, rather than being tied down.
Millennials want to have their cake and eat it too. They want a high paying job but don't want to work extra hours to get there. They want to enter at that level. They expect flexible work hours and time to go off and find themselves, taking long breaks between jobs. They'll job-hop in an instant, because something better is always just over the horizon. Employers don't want flaky people who can't put their phones away and work hard every day. They don't want people who will quit after 6 months or want two months off to take a Europe trip Previous generations didn't act like this.
Well employers will just have to adapt to this then. Populations eventually dictate the terms of employment, if not we would all be working like Indians in a sweat shop.
"For previous generations it was possible to graduate, find a good job and work at the same company until retirement, at which point you would be eligible for a generous pension."
I was born in 1958. This stopped being true in the eighties in most cases. IBM used to brag about never having had a layoff, but then came hiring freezes. For a while they kept employees around who literally - and I mean literally, not figuratively - had no work. I knew a guy who would just read books all day until they offered "early retirement." (I have not worked for IBM, just using it as an example.) I was fortunate to only experience one layoff, but was hired into a different field before my 3 month severance ran out. It is just a fact that you will need to be flexible and open to new ideas in order to remain employable throughout your career - which is most likely going to be longer than "previous generations", given the lack of pensions, the relentless attacks on social security, and the increasing lifespan.
From my cohort graduating 10-15 years ago:
Most that have actual careers immediately moved away for a job, moved away for grad school, or bummed around for a while before either going back to school or doing something they didn't go to school for... So most of their college relationships ended and it took a while for 'em to settle down. Now in our early to mid 30s, we're getting married and having our first kids.
Young people in the U.S. (my generation) are getting married less and later than any other generation, that's a known fact. The reasons and whether it's a positive or negative thing are up for debate. I think the fact that the generation before us got divorced more than any other generation has impacted our view on marriage for sure. We are also obtaining more higher education and pursuing life experiences more than previous generations both of which can set back "settling down" by any number of years. I've had the privelage of traveling to and living in a lot of different areas in the country and there are many places where the pressure is for young people to get a job, get married, buy a house, have children, etc. in order to become adults. As the job market, the housing market and our parents' marriages shown themselves to be unstable I think it's had an impact on our view of the whole package. In a lot of Europe marriage isn't necessarily popular and a lot of children are born out of wedlock but the parents by and large stay together and raise the children. Actually being there is more important than being married and I think you'll see more of this in the U.S. as time goes on. I'm unmarried and yet to have children but am in a long term committed relationship with the woman I love. In short, millennials on average believe that anyone should be able to get married but no one should have to. We're more educated, care more about the environment, are less exclusive and have grown up to see the world as less divided. Other generations can criticize and I'm sure we'll figure out a lot as we go but if you choose to bash us then please ask yourself what it is about your generation that makes you so much better. We didn't burn a hole in the ozone layer, fill the world with nuclear weapons, fill our prisons with nonviolent criminals or cause a reality TV star to win the Whitehouse. We don't tie being a "good" person to specific and often arbitrary religious beliefs. And we sure as hell didn't force the sanctity and exclusivity of marriage down the throats of the next generation while destroying our own. Thank you.